Someone to talk to..............

[Trixy_89]

Hello to those of you who are mothers or mums-to-be. Last post i had on here was about a week ago. Last night i went into hospital at 8 due to light spotting and pain. I didn't leave the hospital til 2 in the morning and i was booked in for an emergency scan at 9:30 this morning. With great dissapointment and heartache my doctor told me it doesn't look good and it looks as if i've missed carried, this was my first and i have to wait ten days for another scan just to be certain of miscarrage. I feel very confused and alone and i cant stop breaking down into tears and this is just the first day. How long will it last. I just want to talk to someone i cant relax and my minds all over the shop. My partner doesn't know what to say to me and i have no one else. thanks x

[EmEd1984]

oh trixy you poor poor thing i'm so so sorry *hugs*
i'm in no way in a position to tell you how you must be feeling, but i'm sure time will be a great healer. its only been a day and you're in shock lovely, but you're not alone...your partner's probably scared to say anything in case it upsets you, whilst he's hurting he knows you're hurting even more, so please please keep your chin up, all isn't lost xx xx

[Trixy_89]

Thanks :'( xx

[Psychick]

Trixy I am very sorry for your loss, I cant even begin to imagine what you are going through. As EmEd has said, you partner will be feeling the loss to no doubt and finding it to find the right words that will be of any comfort. Im guessing the best thing for you at the moment is lots of love and time.

I see you mentioned in another thread about going to work today, you are entitled to some time off and urge you to do so (if you havent already gone to work). I would have thought it may be easier for you if they are told before you go back so youre not having to deal with telling them all yourself face to face. Having said that, I know some people find it easier to keep themselves busy.

Give yourself time to grieve and take each day a step at a time.

[I Love Snow]

I've missed carried 4 times now. You will be up and down like a yo yo. Everyone is different. With my first one i shut every one out including my husband. I didn't think about his feelings which wasn't fair. After the next one i sort of blocked it out and carried on. It was only when one of my cousins phoned to say that she was expecting that i broke down. It sounds harsh but you do get over it but you never forget and whether it be a few weeks, months or longer. But try and speak to your partner and let him know how you feel and vise versa. If you need to talk you can pm me x

[Trixy_89]

Thanks everyone and sorry about anyone elses losses. I didn't actually go to work i asked if i may stay at home and just spend abit of time with my partner. I just wanted to be close to him xx

[Kymrobo81]

Trixy 89, Sorry to hear of your sad news, but if its any consilation, i, myself am in the middle of coping with having a Miscarriage! Mine happened 25.5.08 + i was 10 weeks Pregnant! Altho it was 2 weeks ago now, i need to go back for another Scan a week Tuesday, as the 1st scan showed that there was some left in me. A Pregnancy Test is still showing up Positive because of this... It is a horrible thing 2 go through + each day you feel a different emotion. Today i have been fine, but tomorrow i could be Crying + not want to get out of bed! Just keep your chin up, thats all we can do till we get through this + just remember, your not alone, so please dont bottle things up, this site is amazin + lovley to express your thoughts + worrys + get positive feedback from some lovely people who many have experienced the same thing themselves... Thinking of you .x x x

[Trixy_89]

Thank you, yes my doctor at the hospital when i had my scan said that the womb was empty and that with the bleeding and pain doesn't look good. In other words, big big chance you've lost it. She told me to come back in 10 days for another scan but i know deep down i've lost it so i'll go in 10 days but i'd like to know what happens once shes done the scan and it shows that its definately empty, do you go to an abortion clinic or what.... i'm very confused. xxxx

[I Love Snow]

If it is all gone there is no need for anything else. If there is still some inside you made need surgery. I have had 2 D&Cs. You are only in for the day and you get a general anaesthetic. When i came round i had what was like mild period pains, waited a couple of hours in hospital and went home.

[Trixy_89]

no i havn't had nothing come out yet, just alot of blood. they only wanna do another scan when i go back in 10 days. but i want to know what they will do from then, how long before they book me in to have it out etc xxx

[I Love Snow]

When i had my scan and there was something left i was given a choice of when i wanted to go in. I chose to go home, pack a bag an go straight back. The second time my scan wasn't until the afternoon and they couldn't fit me in that day so i went back the following day. They gave me a choice because everyone is different and the nurse said that a lot of women like to hold onto what is left until they have got their head round things. I wanted it done asap because i felt that getting that bit by with i could then try and get my head round it.

[want2findout]

I'm so sorry Trixy-89, and Kymrobo81. I can't begin to imagine what you're going through. Thinking of you x

[surfydude007]

Hold on in there girl. Start talking about miscarraige and you won't find many mothers who have not had at least one. I had three at about 6 weeks and one at about 11 weeks. Eventually I had a delightful little girl.

You need to talk to a professional - it will help you understand that this was not your fault.

Pregnancy as a whole is very emotional (I found). People don't know what to say - least of all your partner - he probably feels just as bad as you do.

Good luck