Hi, Confusedlady, we all have a story to tell, where some things are similar. I think you should remain strong to your gut feeling. I really don't think a leopard can change his spots. Hubby might want to change 'cos he'll be missing everything that's familiar. I think you are 1/4 way there. You're following your head... separating, thinking of kids etc, all that's good. You also have confidence & self esteem. These are priceless characteristics when going through a break up. Liken it to a death & over time you will go through all emotions i.e. anger, sadness, loss, resignationetc. Time will heal and you'll be a better person for it . We get one shot at life so what's wrong with striving for what we want and not what we have (emoyionally).You could both try RELATE which helps with break-ups aswell as conciliation.
Good luck and be strong, things REALLY DO get better..