Potential birth partner help!

~max~ | 19:08 Mon 06th Oct 2008 | Pregnancy

26 Answers

Hi! My friend is due in 6 to 8 weeks, and her mum is supposed to be her birth partner. However, her mum is abroad, and if baby comes early, I told her I would be there.

In a word: ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

What am I meant to do, if I have to be her birth partner???? Anyone knows? Will they even let me in? What am I supposed to be doing? ta!

this sounds stupid but....

how much do your boobs weigh?

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sara3

awhh, Max.. you'll do fine! there's nothing technical for you to do, just be there for your friend. try to keep her calm, hold her hand, look after her every whim.. "get me a drink!" "I'm hot!" "I'm cold!" "hold my hand!" "DON'T TOUCH ME!"

fantastic, I'm quite jealous. I'd love to be there when a baby arrives.. I was distracted when it was my own :o)

~max~

Question Author

Hi Sara! But would they even let me in the delivery room, if it's a last minute thing? I'm not a relative....

And, I have to ask! Is it really really gross, or is most of it hidden? lol

sara3

of course they'll let you in, if that's what your friend wants.

is it gross? errrrrrrrrr.. well, I guess it can be a bit messy! concentrate on the head end!

I honestly think that your emotions will take over, and you'll be amazed at the miracle of the whole event. and what's a bit of blood and guts amongst friends?!!! seriously, make sure you have enough snacks/drinks as it may take a while and she won't want you popping off for a Mars Bar :o)

pinkbunny

Hey Max!!
It is a fabulous thing to do for your friend, I was ment to be my best friends birthing partner but I ended up actually delivering the baby on her bathroom floor as the silly moo could not hold on till we got out the door let alone the hospital lol!!
It was a fantastic experience if not a tad scary with no medical back up but the bond I have with my friend and her baby is amazing. I would do it again without a thought. Just go with the flow expect it to be messy think blood poo vomit waters breaking etc but you wont even notice any of it im sure, I didnt at the time! Just help guide her through it and keep encouaging her and be strong for her. Trust me you wont regret it it is such a privalige good on ya!!

~max~

Question Author

Wow Pinkbunny! I'm not sure I could do that! lol Is it too late to get a midwife qualification, just in case? ;O)

Thanks for the tips, I'll see how it goes!

*max quietly panics*

pinkbunny

I did not have any form of midwifery qualification I work on the other end of the scale in pallitative care where people are dying!!! But all in all was a fantastic experience and no one else was going to deliver the baby (her partner just stood there mouth open could not even pass me a towel when I asked for one lol) so I had to get on with it!!! I would not want to be a midwife now but as a one off it was fantastic. Make sure you take a camera change snacks something to do a nintendo ds is a good one or a pack of cards! If your friend is nothing like mine it could be a long process I laboured with my first for 27 hours!!!!
But good on ya for offering I am sure you will be just fine x x

~max~

Question Author

You know, I have always been very interested in the delivery process, and I've actually watched very graphic videos of it, and it has never phased me. I find it absolutely wonderful. I always thought I'd be able to deliver a baby, as long as there is no complication of course, if I had no choice. I'm not squeamish at all when it comes to bodily emissions, let's say...lol, but now I'm not so sure! I guess you don't know how you're going to behave until the moment actually comes.
I think I'd be fine just being there for her. I'm kind of hoping I have to, actually. What an honour, isn't it! :O)

jack daniels

Good luck hun - you'll be fine

I'd love to witness a birth

pinkbunny

It is a huge honour and I would love to do it again maybe for my sister in the future for example. She was ment to be my birth partner this year but it all went mega wrong and I had the baby far too early so she was not even in the county!!
I think we all cope very differently to stress I was totally cool calm and collect whilst I was hands on delivering the baby but I did freak out abit once it was all over the next day all the what ifs etc!! But it was magic I cried my friend cried thank god the baby cried and they all take the mick out of me now for kissing the baby on the head once it had been born before it was washed lol gross hey!! But I was overwhelmed with emotion!

~max~

Question Author

PB, I don't think you even consider the "grossness", do you! I would probably do the same! It's only bodily fluids, after all, and there's nothing bad about it, after all, we have all lived in it for 9 months! You must have felt so proud, and I'm sure your friend will be forever grateful!
It makes for a great party anecdote too! lol;O)

pinkbunny

Yeah its something that is frequently discussed especially on birthdays and emotional moments! But hey whats a bit of body fluids between friends hey lol. You will have to let us know how you get on and if you end up being the birthing partner!!! God I am getting a tad broody now!!! Right im off to stare lovingly at my sleeping children before bed now night max x x x

China Doll

Oh lord love you're a better friend than me... Good luck with it all and I'm sure it'll be a wonderful experience and the baby at the end will make it all worthwhile.

(I will however continue to pray that no one ever asks me to do the same, I don't even want to be present at the birth of my own children if that ever happens).

~max~

Question Author

Night night, Pinkbunny! You have been a great help, thanks for your advice. Give a big kiss to your beautiful kids for me! xxx

~max~

Question Author

lol CD! I think I'll cope, because it won't be me going through it...:O)
If I ever have kids (which I hope!), I'd also like to be put to sleep in a lovely, comfortable room, and only wake up when the bundle has been cleaned up, dressed in cute pijamas, and taught how to NOT scream its head off.....

mrs.chappie

Or even better max ..... bring it back when it's sixteen!

[:o)

(Only joking!)

China Doll

If they can get it through pre-school for me that'd be a bonus too...

mightyWBA

I remember when my now "estranged " wife gave birth to our daughter she broke my thumb while giving the final push.
Just be careful how she grips your hand,I went from maternity to A & E !
It was a very painful experience,my thumb was throbbing for ages :-(

China Doll

I think you'll have a job finding a sympathetic ear in pregnancy sweet cheeks!

mrs.chappie

My brother was talking about his missus giving birth the other day. He said "The twins shot out like two torpedoes".

Somehow, I don't think the births would have been quite as simple as that ......

~max~

Question Author

lol Stu!
Reminds me of the episode in Friends where Rachel is giving birth! She accidentally headbutts him whilst pushing, and he comes back up saying "You have NO idea how much this hurt!"...Only to be met with murderous stares from both the midwife and Rachel..lol

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