How soon after miscarriage is it sensible to try to conceive

[clydeserani]

I very sadly suffered a miscarriage last week, just stopped bleeding after 9 days. I was very early into the pregnancy, perhaps only 3 - 4 weeks, 5 weeks max but already I was imagining what my little baby would be like and what stage of development I was at etc, not to mention looking to the future with anticipation.

Emotionally, I will never get over losing my little angel. I now know the true meaning of Heartbreak, but the rational part of my brain convinces me that life must go on, no matter how hard and confusing it seems...I still need to tend to my other children, go to work, continue studying and cleaning the house and shopping etc.

What is a reasonable timescale to allow my body to heal physically before I should consider trying to conceive again.

As i type this, I must admit I am terrified of the thought as i do not know how I would survive if I had to go through the same thing again.

My lost little one was a surprise, so if i do decide to try to conceive again, i would like to prepare my body to the best of my ability to be as fit and healthy as possible to increase the chances of being able to sustain a wee life for the full term.

I am still taking Folic Acid and have a balanced healthy diet...

Any advice would be received greatfully.

x.C.x

[NoMercy]

Not my area of expertise, but I am sorry to hear of your loss. I would suggest to any friend of mine to wait six months for the body to completely settle back down.

[clydeserani]

Hi NoM.

I thought that would be a good timescale myself.

Im gonna start going swimming on a regular basis again.

Exactly a week before I found out I was pregnant I was in a car accident and tore a muscle in my abdomen, i reckon gentle swimming will be a good way to promote healing the muscle in preparation for a future pregnancy.

Thanks again.

x.C.x

[Ice.Maiden]

Sorry for your loss clydeserani. I understand that miscarriages are far more common than people realise, with a huge percentage of women suffering one or more - sometimes without even knowing.
A family member who's a doctor, runs a family planning session, and says that if you're healthy, you can try to conceive again after 3 months. It takes about this length of time for the uterus to heal properly, so best of luck with it. x

[clydeserani]

Thanks Ice Maiden...

My wee heart will take longer to heal than my body.

I suppose I will know myself when I feel good and ready physically and emotionally.

It certainly wont be for at least three months but thats good information to know from a family planning point of view...

Fate is a fickle thing eh..

x.C.x

[Picky]

Hi clydeserani

I am so sorry about your news. I had 2 miscarriages last year, one at nearly 10 weeks and the other at about 5-6 weeks. All I can say is I believe that you will personally know when the time is right to try for another. My 1st miscarriage was at the beginning of July and I was pregnant again in the September when I had a 2nd miscarriage. However, I didn't even have a period between my 2nd miscarriage and getting pregnant again, and I am now just over 26 weeks pregnant. Some people might say it was too soon, but it was right for me and Mr Picky and baby Picky seems to be cooking nicely! The hospital said to me that it is a good idea to have a normal period following a miscarriage, so if you do get pregnant straight away, it gives more clarification on your dates, but as you can see from me, it does just happen when it happens. Good luck with everything, I do appreciate how hard it is, and you are in my thoughts
Px

[clydeserani]

Hi Picky, NoM and Ice,

I appreciate all your advice and good wishes..

The beauty of this site is that you know when you post a question that other people will view it and perhaps get the information/advice that they need too.

One thing that I am so glad about is that I hadn't told my kids or parents yet that I was pregnant. It was very difficult to put on a normal composure with the kids however I managed. They would have been heartbroken too. My parents would have been devastated, however what they don't know cant hurt them so Its a secret that I will keep close to my heart.

Best of luck Picky with Baby...Keep us all posted on progress please...

x.C.x

[clydeserani]

Here is a little poem I wrote in a moment of reflection.

Perhaps it will give other parents in the same situation some comfort. I hope so...



A Lost Little Baby

23.03.2009. The saddest day of my life.

Broken Dreams and Broken Hearts
The Pain is so Raw, where do I start

Your Daddy and I Loved you so much
We longed for your face
We longed for your touch

It seems that the Angels needed you back
But that left us distraught
How should we react?

With tears and with heartache
What would we gain?
But Oh, Our wee baby we know
You Will come back again

Only for a moment you were our dream
The One who would save us
Our lives you would redeem

I pray you will send us back your wee soul
Just when you are ready to make us a Whole

You are our own little Angel
To watch us and guide us
To help your Daddy and I
To always be beside us

You will never be forgotten
Always in our hearts
Your Daddy and I Loved you
Right from the start.

[K82]

Hi C,

What a beautiful poem!

I can't imagine how heartbroken you must feel & I'm so sorry for your loss. When I found out I was pregnant (now 20 weeks) the first 12 weeks I worried myself sick with the thought. Read every artical in books, magazines, intenet to see how to prevent this & the answer is you can't/couldn't. It's Gods way of taking your Angel as somethings wasn't quite right & when you look at it this way, it was for the best, still hard I know.

My close friend had a miscarriage 3 months ago & is now trying again. She lost hers at 9 weeks but no one, not even dooctors could answer her questions as to why.

I wish you all the luck in the world & hope you are blessed with a beautiful baby soon x

[bobbybob]

I had a miscarriage last September at approx 6wks. I caught again in October and I am now 24wks. Good luck

[shaunzy]

Thats why i dont really like those preg tests that tell you your preg so early. I'm over 36weeks preg now and i didnt know i was pregnant til i was over 5weeks gone.

Sorry for your loss and good luck with trying again x

[clydeserani]

Thank you all for the responses and support I have received on this site.

Best of luck to all the mums to be.

Its a very exciting time. Hopefully I will be there too before this year is out.

Lots of Love..

x.C.x

[scoobysoo]

Hi, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. The worst thing I ever did was use a First Response test. We had been trying for 2 years, and I got a positive with a FR test, and a few days later had an early miscarriage. Had I just waited, I would've just thought my period had come late, and I would've been none the wiser. My Dr said that it's quite common, and most women don't have the slightest clue they were ever pregnant, and that these early tests are more trouble than they are worth. On a more positive note, it did show us that we can conceieve and hey presto, we got pregnant the very next month (which was 12 weeks ago), so please keep positive, and it wil be your time soon x