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A ladies opinion please!

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answergoat | 20:02 Wed 20th May 2009 | Relationships & Dating
20 Answers
Hello, I have been working with a lady for a few years though have only recently had to work more closely with her. Every time I have asked if she is interested in going to particular jobs she is always enthusiatic and comes along; we have been teasing eachother about lots of things and get on well.

Recently we had to go on a day trip and we were friendly as usual (other people were there) and she was complimentary about my work to them. Whilst waiting to leave the train on our way back I was holding on to one of the chairs and she put her hand on mine and left it there.

A couple of days later I had to txt her about some work (she had left her mobile numbers for me and a note suggesting we travel together in a group for the trip) and we ended up txting till quite late (outside work hours) again teasing etc.

And today she told me she thinks im brooding/intimidating in a good way (she said it was a compliment?! though I am always polite!) and liked the nickname I gave her.

My problem is, she is quite a friendly person anyway and sometimes seems a bit distant. Added to this, my judgement is all over the place (I think she's great and it's kind of caught me out - almost never happens!).

So I guess my question is, do you think she's interested; I do not want to embarass her by asking her to meet up away from work but i'd really like to get to know her better.

Thank you!

G

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If you don't ask you don't get.

Better to be slightly embarrassed in the short term, than waste time and energy in the long term...
Yes of course she is! But! A relationship at work? That's awkward is'nt it? x
She sounds interested.
OK... she likes being with you, praises you to others (within your hearing), she touches you and leaves her hand there for a little while, she's given you here mobile number and texted you late at night, complimented you in all sorts of ways... yep, I would say she is wondering when on earth you are going to make a move ! What is the worst that can happen if you ask her out for a drink or a meal *to try out that new place* (or some other excuse).. ? If she replies that she is too busy or can't make it, then suggest another time - to suit her - and see what happens. At worst you will never get a date.. at best..well, I will leave that to your imagination lol..
I'm female and this kinda thing happened to me.

Get someone else to conspicuously ask her what she think of you but not so she works out what your trying to do, ie get someone close to her to ask her in the middle of a conversation (when your not within earshot).
Question Author
Ok, she only touched my hand the one time (I didn't do anything...) the txts were initiated by me (sent some work info that's all) and I got a playful comment back; she does joke with other people in the workplace. Also, she often sits near me (spare desks..) and we chat but not loads; don't know wether that's because one or both of us are nervous?!?!

Point taken about a relationship at work - I am usually level headed and wouldn't think of such things - she's gotten to me!
any chance of asking her to lunch? not a date as such but just sort-of outwith workhours and find out then what you chat about? if nothing but work well...
i hope it works out for you
I had a 'thing' with one of the guys where I work . It's fizzled out now but I had a rule that work was just for that and he seemed to have the same rule so it was fine. Mind you, it wasn't serious but that was my attempt at making you see work relationships are not all bad.

I'd just ask if she fancies grabbing a coffee or lunch sometime during the day, mention a place you'd like to try out over lunch and see if she bites and then ask if she fancies going. Job done and very little pressure.
-- answer removed --
Are you both single?
Question Author
Thanks for all the responses so far! Yes Liquidspace, as far as I am aware she is single (I am)
Ooh! It's like the Nescafe ad! ;0) x
I think that she may be interested in you but think that you are right to be cautious. My reason for saying that is because if you have misread the situation then it could become awkward at work.

As others have said, ask her out to lunch.

Good Luck.
& we want updates o.k! ;0) x
Question Author
Haha, ok, as you have all been really great about it I will keep you updated if you like (thanks sachs! She does like coffee by the way...)
Are we talking lesbianism here?.....not that it seens to matter.

Do you fancy her?
Question Author
Lesbianism?!!? Where did that come from! Haha. No im a man and she's a lady!
Right...there is nothing in your post to indicate your sex.

I agree with zac....."get in there and fill your boots"
Question Author
Thanks sqad617; didn't even think to mention I was a man lol. I didn't feel 'that way' when I first met her or for a while (I guess I am more like a woman in that respect - it takes more than just looks for me!). Another issue with this whole thing is (and please do not think I am being big headed here) is that I have never (never had to) ask a woman out - it always takes me by surprise when a woman suggests we go out - I must be terrible at reading signs - though I can see it for other people!
I was about to post a similar question too - whether you were male or female? As unfortunately (and it shouldn't) still in modern times, could have been another kettle of fish (especially in the work environment).

If your happy with the possibility to be involved in a relationship within the work environment, then definitely ask her out. The worst that can happen, is she could say no. Ask her out for dinner or drinks or some event (or all 3) out of working hours (preferably on a Saturday and Sunday), and I'm sure she'll get the hint your interested! Then the balls in her court...

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