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So, confused...when is the right time to have a baby? Im 36 years old

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shanoween | 21:28 Tue 07th Sep 2010 | Pregnancy
28 Answers
I have been with my partner for over 5 years, he has always wanted kids, I was adamant at the beginning that I did not want them. However, I am 36 now, and he is 35, and we are not getting any younger. I have a house on rent, and he has a house that he currently lives in, and I have moved back in with him from renting my house out. We have decided that we will continue to rent mine, and he will rent his and buy a house together. I have talked about babies, and he has never pressured me, but I am so not sure...I am constantly thinking of the negative...money, how my figure will look (as people say I have a great body) houses, work etc...I am so confused, and have given myself a time limit as to make a decision, as it is not fair on my partner. What do others think?.......
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Avatar Image sherrardk
Hi - it's never a 'right' time to have a baby (there's always money concerns, work concerns, etc - sorry, but think the figure thing is a bit shallow) but if you decide that you would both like to start a family I would not wait forever. I thought I was getting old when I had my first child at 31 (I now have five) - I was worried about the actual birth if I am honest. BTW - I gave myself a time limit on baby 4 and it turned out I was already pregnant with twins!
21:32 Tue 07th Sep 2010
Avatar Image welshlibranr
Well shanoween, not an easy one! Really it's got to be your decision! Your figure will return to normal given a little time! As to work, you can go back after 6 months if you wish, Money, you'll manage, we all do! But it all comes down to whether or not you want to have children, only you can decide!..............Good Luck!.............
21:34 Tue 07th Sep 2010
Avatar Image society
Your body may not stay that 'great' as you age. And when you get older you might regret not having a child / children.
21:36 Tue 07th Sep 2010
Avatar Image craft1948
It depends how many you want......if you want more than one you'd better get your skates on.
21:37 Tue 07th Sep 2010
Avatar Image anneasquith
your figure returns to normal .......... after childbirth, does it ? lol
21:39 Tue 07th Sep 2010
-- answer removed --
Avatar Image berniecuddles
sounds to me with all these questions you posed you already know the answer shanoween!!
21:43 Tue 07th Sep 2010
Avatar Image sherrardk
Hi Anne - mine was fine after the first 3 but the ping has gone a little bit after having twins (I am still a size 10 though - but the tummy is not as flat as it was - but then I am 41 so it probably would have gone anyway!).
21:43 Tue 07th Sep 2010
Avatar Image welshlibranr
Well, anneaquith, my figure returned to normal after about 8 months, maybe I was lucky??..............
21:43 Tue 07th Sep 2010
Avatar Image LoftyLottie
I never wanted kids when I was younger - neither of us did. In fact I had a miscarriage at 29 and wasn't really upset at all (not a planned pregnancy). Eventually I had my one and only child when I had just turned 36. Mr LL was keener than I was, but we decided that there would never actually be a 'right' time and just went for it. Yes my long lean figure suffered and never did go back to what it was, but quite honestly my priorities changed and they continue to change as I got older.

Work became less important, socialising became less important and I became a devoted Mum and loved every minute of it. It was the important job I have ever undertaken. I never wanted any more ids - I am not the broody type, but I am so glad I had my son. The things I thought were important once were simply not important at all!

He is 27 now and I am so glad I had him.
21:45 Tue 07th Sep 2010
Avatar Image LoftyLottie
And as for money, etc. You always live up to what you have. You will be surprised how you can cope on far less without suffering.
21:47 Tue 07th Sep 2010
Avatar Image welshlibranr
Lovely Loftylottie! so well expressed! motherhood is so special!..................
21:49 Tue 07th Sep 2010
Avatar Image annie0000
About 9am - that way you're not up too early and you can still be home for dinner and eastenders.
21:49 Tue 07th Sep 2010
Avatar Image LoftyLottie
Eh!
21:52 Tue 07th Sep 2010
Avatar Image welshlibranr
I think annie is on the wrong thread!..............
21:54 Tue 07th Sep 2010
Avatar Image sherrardk
I think annie has got it spot on!
21:55 Tue 07th Sep 2010
Avatar Image LoftyLottie
LOL. It would seem that way!

Glad I'm not the only one who does it!!
21:56 Tue 07th Sep 2010
Avatar Image welshlibranr
Me too Loftylottie!....................lol..........
....
21:57 Tue 07th Sep 2010
Avatar Image sherrardk
(Sorry - it's meant to be funny - having the baby at 9 am would mean you could get home to watch EE and have your tea!)
21:59 Tue 07th Sep 2010
Avatar Image welshlibranr
Sher, sorry!.....See what you meean now!.............bit slow tonight!.........Hope you and your's are well!..............
22:01 Tue 07th Sep 2010

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