Should I give my husband 15000?

[rxn29]

My husband wants 15000 out of my auto accident settlement. I am willing to give him 10000. I tried negotiating with him but he says he does not want to hear my nonsense. He says to give him the money or that it will put a rip on our relationship. He thinks our children deserve less than what he will pay to child support. I was gonna move the money to my account because I am afraid that he will take all the funds and leave me nothing. I am really confused. What should I do?

[pink-kittens]

OK, I know the laws are much different in the US but (and this is just my opinion) let him go to jail for non payment.
How have his wages not been garnished?
From an outsiders point of view this man will just keep taking till it's all gone - I would run now, as far away as possible but only after moving the money

[rxn29]

I do not know why his wages have not been garnished, they were before but when we moved to a different state his wages were left alone.

[rxn29]

Thank you for your answers, they are helpful.

[lady-janine]

rxn - have been in similar situation. stop the bullying. move the money. issue ultimation to husband. get out of my life. do your best to lose him. he is no good to you or children. life is much better on your own. no troubles like that. you don't deserve that and nor do your children. look at him for what he is : a selfish bully.

[brenda]

Stop agonising about this -------if the money is yours move it at once to your own account.

You are then in the best position possible to talk about it-- if you wish to do so.

Do not allow yourself to be bullied over this ----- if you have the cash safely tucked away ---- you have something for your future.

Think really hard as well , do you want to spend the rest of your life with a man like this , selfish and greedy,and trying to save his own skin at your expense.
If not then, as you have been advised by others get rid of him.

All the best of luck to you.

[Messalina]

The money is yours. Tell him to have his own accident if he wants cash.

[VHG]

He sounds a big bully to me, using threats and intimidation to get his own way.

You are probably better off without him.

[Old_Geezer]

I suspect, given this is page 2, that others will have said this, but I don't see why he thinks he is entitled to compensation awarded to you. If you offer something that would be down to your generosity. Are you sure you want to be with someone who uses your relationship to extract money from you? Doesn't sound like he values it that much. Even if he thought he was just being honest in saying it will "put a rip on the relationship", it speaks volumes that he believes it will. Not wanting to push you into something you don't want, but in your shoes I think I'd ensure the money was in an account only I could get to.

[rxn29]

We are still together. He.even threatened to take me to court for the money, I told him to do so. I was willing to give him some but he thought it was not enough. He started asking for 3000 and the number has just gotten bigger. I think many of you are right about him though. He should not put me in a situation luke that. He is being selfish not me. I have injuries that I will feel for life and this stress does not help.

[lady-janine]

i'm with eddie on this. the man does not care for you at all otherewise he would never treat you like this. he does not care regardless of what he might say. if you care for and love someone you never treat them or speak to them like this.
look after yourself and your children because he never will. to him you are just someone he can bully and exercise power over.
you know what you should do - do it.

[JonnyBoy12]

I have a solution to the problem. Change your husband to me, and then I will settle for £10,000. Good idea, eh?

[rxn29]

Lol.... Some humor through all the problems that I am facing right now is good:-)

[momcj]

because u have had posted this on here, to me says that you have ur concerns about this, and if u r honest u think it is not right. Of course we do not know the ins and outs of ur relationship but from what u have said and the answers on here u can see that the majority r thinking why r u with this person, i think from what u say u also think this. so maybe this is what u really need to think about!

[rxn29]

You are right. I believe our relationship has been over for a few years now. I stayed for the children, for him and hoping that we could fix our marriage, but I am the only one putting effort in to this relationship and no matter what I do it is never enough. He has gotten worse over the years. I worry about our children. I love them so much and I don't wanna hurt them. About the money, I don't mind sharing with him, but he is demanding it! That is what bothers me, and also knowing that some of it will be used for child support. I don't owe that woman anything, plus his son won't see any of it, not that he deserves it.

[momcj]

I understand why u r saying u are staying for the children, but u also have to think about urself and to be honest if the atmosphere at home is tense, i believe sometimes this can b worse for the children, just my opinion. Put the money in your single account and say if he wants some for something he just needs to ask, then u can decide if what he wants to buy is worth it so he doesnt just spend it on rubbish. If he dont like it, he can lump it!!!

[rxn29]

Lol... I have already moved the money to my account. I haven't told him yet. The atmosphere at home can be draining and hectic at times. I do have to think about how much longer I can put up with this without exploding and if it is even worth it.....