How does my friend/dance teacher feel about me? What is the status of our friendship?

[jateller]

Hi everyone,

I'm really confused by the way that my dance teacher/friend is treating me. I'll talk about a few of the things that are confusing me, and hopefully you can help me sort things out.

She's been my teaching for 8.5 years, and I'm 21, she's 29.

- The other day at the end of class, I was standing at the door, trying to get her attention to say bye, but she signaled for me to come over and talk to her. She talked to me about half an hour about her friend, and was asking for my advice etc. Her friend is also a Zumba instructor and had betrayed her. She was calling her friend a "f***ing w***e" and ranted to me about her for quite a while.

- Whenever I come to her classes, she always tries to get me in for free, and tells the reception staff that I'm a "really good friend" of hers.

- I text her from time to time asking about classes and sometimes just general chatter, and she mostly replies.

- However - whenever I write on her Facebook wall, she never replies, but she always replies to other people's wall posts - always!! I generally ask her a question, too - and it is generally to do with classes. She replies to other people who posted at the same time etc.

- I wrote her an email the other day about buying tickets for a Zumba party she has organized, and I even transferred the money across to her account, but she didn't reply.

That's only a few examples, but there are many similar situations - things like this happen all the time.

I'm so confused! I'm not confused by any of my other friends, I understand our friendships, so I don't understand why this is so complicated.

How do you think she feels towards me? What should I do? Please help me out!

Thank you!

[sara3]

you're a customer, and a friend when it suits her.

and that's all, in my opinion.

[bednobs]

agreed, with sara

[Tups]

I don't understand why you can't confront her politely. Just ask, 'Did you get my email re .....(whatever?) or, more importantly, 'Did you get the money I transferred to your account?' Natural enough questions. Try not to analyse the relationship; as I said, simply ask her if she's received your communications. Don't ask her why she hasn't replied. Only text/email her when it's necessary or preferably deal with situations when you actually see her. Perhaps you contact her too often and she's trying to discourage you from doing so. Regard her as your teacher, with whom you get on well in class and leave it at that. Don't expect any more of the relationship.

[boxtops]

She's being professional, not getting involved with her student. I think you are reading too much into this.