Just to cheer you up, a little story.
As students doing “midder” we had to deliver on the district for 3 months under the supervision of these fat” Sarah Gamps.”
A list was put up in the hospital entrance and when there was a delivery imminent, the midwife would call the student and then put his name to the bottom of the list and we would all move up one.
That night I had toothache and took painkillers and a swig of whisky and had an early night, but unfortunately, there was a burst of deliveries and my name soon came to the top.
The phone rang and I was summoned to the main hall to pick up the bag (of tools) and cycle with the midwife to the patient. As I put my leg over the bike, my knee hit the saddle and I fell over with the bike into a heap in Whitechapel Road and she accused me of being drunk. I cycled down the road with her (or behind her) to a 10 story block of flats in the Mile End Road, with the lift not working.
As we got into the flat, filled with folks and kids, there was a bleeding gaping hole between this woman’s legs with a mass of humanity forcing it’s way out.
“Come on doctor ( they loved calling the students doctor, sarcastic bitches) get hold of the baby”
As it came out like a jet plane , I grabbed it and it slipped out of my hands and it “dangled” over the side of the bed, hanging by the umbilical cord, swinging backwards and forwards.
I was banished into the other room with the “tribe” to sit out the delivery.
Paaah!