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Well i never....after feeling liberated telling the police woman I am not accepting my caution......low and behold I receive a summons at the magistrates courts on the 6 sept for 'assult on 'victim' by beating him on the 13/5/11'.? I'm completely flabergasted and no words cannot describe the way i am feeling (out of all the anguish and pain i have been thro I have NEVER EVER felt suicidal as i know that no matter how u feel today tomo is another day and yr feelings r diferent...but today knocked me sideways and i seriously felt a thought 'what is the point anymore'? I'm tired, tired of fighting the mountain I everyday have to climb but only to realise every step i take feels like i'm climbing a sand dune n sinking slowly bkwards. My life has always been difficult, been no one year has gone without a hiccup (not talking yr average day to day issues)
If i knew i had done something that when i woke in the morning felt it was wrong and unacceptable then i wud b the 1st to hold my hands up and admit and appologise, but i know the incident that is taking me to court is something i will fight till i am blue in the face and never ever admit to believing i did wrong...I would be deceiving myself and accepting being guilty. I have been rummaging thro my paperwork n found letters addressed to my ex from the solictors he saw when arrested for assulting me over the last 18months, the things he has done to me is behond belief.... from strangling,kicking,spitting,pillow over face (list carries on). He was verbally abusive too. He has been arrested numerous times for the things he has done.....but becos he has the gift of the gag he wiggled his way out.....so here i am, no previous records or Mr meaners, being treated like a criminal for 'pushing' him ( I can assure all u sceptics out there that pushing is the only harm i caused. I have yet again been thrown in2 a position that i have no idea wot to do....I have no legal representation and I am on sick leave n in receipt of benefits.....who do i turn to? If any1 out there mayb of assistance it wud be grafefully accepted (may i ask only people with knowledgable and beneficial info pls reply)
many tnx :)