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Thanks for your replies, some great advice (as per on here). Her dad has spoken to her many times, he's a bit like me, he simmers and then boils over. But when he has, she takes it on board for the time she's with us, but by the following week - or mid-week, when she's asking for her next whim, it's gone completely out of her head. To be fair, if either of us were to stop her coming up, her mother would probably stop the little boy - she's very counter-active like this. She's stopped access many times in the past for petty stuff, and takes total control over christmas visits and holidays - even refusing outright if it doesn't suit her. So, rightly or wrongly we tend to not rock the boat in that aspect. I did make an attempt to take her in hand couple of weeks ago, I stamped my feet and told her how she'd made me feel all year and that she was not to ask for any favours/friends over or changes to the current visit situ (she often does to suit herself) for the rest of this month, basically giving her this time to reflect on her attitude, and if she bucked up we would then re-consider. She appeared to listen - until the following day when she had left, she then text her dad if she could have a friend over next visit!! I couldn't believe the gall of her - we had a massive row and fell out for days. I do have to say, a lot of the frustration I feel lies with her dad as he will literally pick the kids up, then drive all the way back to either pick up her friends or drop them off at her will, bearing in mind we live 30 miles away, so it's an hour and half round trip to do something like this and our fuel costs are enormous anyway. He insists he is not afraid of upsetting her, but yet he cannot seem to put his foot down. He would not let his son or my daughter get away with even half of this - which has also caused problems, because he will pull my daughter up on the pettiest of things, but not his? Arrggh! it drives me nuts, I could literally walk away from it for a peaceful life!