Soham - A Parents Tale

[Ann]

Documentary was on ITV tonight - 10 years on from the sad case of the murder of Holly Wells and Jessica Chapman.

Although at the time everyone was waiting for news, joining in the search, and grieving for the 2 families when their little bodies were found, I personally think they should now let the two girls rest in peace.

I feel slightly uncomfortable that her dad, Kevin, almost seems to revel in the publicity (he also did at the time, he gave continuous TV interviews) and will obviously be writing a book from his diary entries which he said he kept from the time she went missing. Maybe it's just me, but he didn't show much grief in a way most parents would. Its quite telling that the Chapman family have had no part in interviews or publicity since, and have kept a dignified silence. ...................One good thing has come out of this sad case though, the Police now have to keep better records between counties of committed crimes.
What are your thoughts on the programme if you watched it?

[Mamyalynne]

I was not going to watch - but prompted by your question, I have. I see or saw no revelling , in fact a rather 'dead' look in Holly's fathers eyes. We each deal with our grief in our own ways - you may not approve of mine.

[thenry]

Dad Kevin has lost a daughter. I can't imagine how that would feel. Can't judge this.

[pips1]

I can't judge either as I have no idea how I would feel in this situation, but I seem to remember that the Chapman family felt uneasy about this too back when it all happened.

[excelsior-1]

oh nuts!!

knew there was something i should have recorded.

i'll try catch-up tv.

hard to believe it's been 10 years though, i remember it so well --- probably because soham is just a few miles from me.

[factor-fiction]

People do deal with death in different ways. Remember the deaths of Jonathan Ball and Tim Parry- Tim's dad Colin became a strong campaigner and featured in many TV interviews/reports whereas I can't recall the Ball family appearing on TV at all.

[Ann]

Yes I realise people have many different ways of grieving, and I do remember Colin Ball in the Warrington bombings.

I suppose I was a little harsh saying Kevin didn't show much grief, as none of us know what he was like when the cameras were switched off, maybe he was trying to give strength to his wife. Time is a great healer too........ I did say that good had come out of this sad situation to get Police to check data more thoroughly which could save the lives of other children.

Thanks for your thoughts. It really doesn't seem 10 years ago, does it, I couldn't believe it.

[Ann]

* Tims Dad Colin Parry

[NoMercy]

The McCanns were also accused of not showing enough grief, as were the Royal Family following the death of Princess Diana. Some people do their grieving in private.

Just because you don't hear a person fart, doesn't mean they don't fart.

[anneasquith]

ann, i find your thoughts re the father quite interesting.

[Ann]

LOL @NoM :)

[Tizzi24]

I found it very moving and as others have said, people deal with their grief in different ways. He obviously loved his daughter very much.

[chrissa1]

My daughter and I watched it and found it very moving. He has already written a book, some of which my daughter told me she had read.

I'm afraid I don't agree with you Ann86 about not showing much grief. What did you want? The wailings like that despicable couple accused of starting the fire that killed all their children?

This is a decent family, whose loss in this way we can only imagine. Dignity and decency was all I saw.

[NoMercy]

That psychic/medium guy...anyone think he was the real deal?

[Mick-Talbot]

That psychic/medium guy...anyone think he was the real deal?


I never watched the documentary..... but no, he obviously was not the real deal. I think all psychic/mediums are fake, Nom.

[boxtops]

I didn't want to watch it, and yes, it is in the past for us, but never for the parents - but the one good thing to come out of it is much better inter-Force police networking, Ian Huntley would never have got a clean CRB check these days.

[ladybirder]

Oh dear, I do hope I showed the appropriate amount of grief at my son's funeral to meet with Ann86's approval and others like her. It never occurred to me that at the time that anyone was judging me.

[ladybirder]

No Mercy, the medium chap made me very angry and I wouldn't want him anywhere near me. BUT they seemed to regard him as a friend and took comfort in what he told them (what they wanted to hear) so who am I to criticise. What did you think?

[TOWIE]

I watched last night - they also didn't mention Jessica Chapman; perhaps her parents didn't want any part of the documentary.

Not sure about the physic guy - bit spooky he said straight away, she is here with us now.

I admire parents who have gone through this nightmare and keep a dignified persona. I don't think I would find peace until the murderer was encased in concrete.

[chrissa1]

According to my daughter and the part of the book that she read, the Medium was there from the start of the search for the little girls. He was telling them and the Police things and mentioned two letters of the alphabet that meant nothing to all at the time. However, when they were found, the two letters were the initials of the "local" name of the place where Huntley had left their bodies.

I agree though, he was telling them what they wanted to hear at the end.

[liz59]

I lost my daughter 4 years ago in a car crash when she was 21. When we first lost her I was quite strong and didn't grieve till later. Since then I have found that the grief comes and goes. Obviously key dates can be hard but not always and sometimes other difficulties cause my grief to come up to the surface. Everyone deals with their grief differently and we all find our own way of dealing with it and living our lives. They lost Hollie 10 years ago and so have found their own way of dealing with it. I find that even when things are difficult it is possible to put on a face for the world but when I'm alone I can let my grief out. I am sure that Hollie's parents like me have good days and bad days.

I found it strange that Jessica's parents didn't get mentioned, even by Hollie's parents or even a postscript to say that they didn't want to take part. I guess they are more private people and didn't want the publicity.