Birthday cards for family

[Smowball]

I'm the type of person whon always sends cards to people, even if I don't get one back - it's just the way I am. But what do you do if somebody has been really vile, and you know its their birthday very soon. Would you rise above it and send a card anyway, or would you deliberatley not send one this time?

[cazzz1975]

rise above it, relationships with family go through ups and downs, being childish or nasty on a birthday card to your son or daughter is not a nice thing to do.

[Smowball]

I see, so calling me a c@nt,fat f@cking b1tch of a mother, to name but a few, should be ignored??

[ummmm]

No....I wouldn't ignore that. I might actually sign the card with that title.

[lcg]

i wouldn't speak to him until he apologises and grovels significantly. totally uncalled for, whatever the circumstances! let him carry on in his own sweet merry way until he needs something and comes crawling back x

[lcg]

hi ummm! x

[Smowball]

Morning guys. seeing as its just u lot, may as well tell u that I have found out son is seriously addicted to weed. having never taken a drug in my life this is all alien to me but..................

[ummmm]

Hi :-)

Seriously though, I wouldn't allow one of my kids to talk to me like that.

[ummmm]

Who told you this?

Weed effects people differently.

[lcg]

what? after all you've been through.....i suppose he's been spending all his money on that (explains the debt and him coming to you for money, too). when people smoke loads of weed every day, their brains turn to mush and they can't be @ssed to do anything. how did you find out? x

[Smowball]

His gf told me and also his sister(my daughter). Yes that is where the money has been going. He has been taking the gf's money for baby milk to buy weed. Its been a hell of a week. When I confronted him all hell broke loose.

[Smowball]

Am thinking of sending him a card from Moonpig with appropriate wording : )

[ummmm]

Is he a good dad? What's the GF like?

(still would never let him talk to me like that)

[Smowball]

He started out as a good dad ( baby is still only 4 months old) but now vanishes all day leaving mum with baby. Had a lovely week with mum and baby here till dad turned up, then within 24 hours he was trying to find local dealers to buy from _ I was mortified!!

[lcg]

blimey....don't know how i would handle that. i used to smoke loads of weed and do other drugs for a long time when i was younger before i sorted my life out and went to uni and got a 'proper' job. i've no idea what my parents thought about that at the time....i certainly wouldn't have listened to them. how is his gf coping with his behaviour? i would go absolutely nuts at my son if he was doing that (and i know how hypocritical that sounds - but i have always told him that i am completely stupid!) and raise merry hell. we're always here to talk to and dig out advice/support networks for you if need be. do you reckon you'll sleep at all tonight? x

[Smowball]

I did confront him - he came in lounge demanding to know where a certain kids park was . when I asked why he kicked off, pushed me and I slipped and smacked my knees on floor ( am fine!). gf kept apologising for him but he jjust stood there looking as cocky as hell

[lcg]

good grief. it's times like that when you really want to put them across your knee and give them a good smack! i do feel really sorry for his gf....she's got so much on her plate. have you banned him from the house...and what does your hubby say about what's happened (or does he not know at the moment)? x

[Smowball]

Hubby was there - managed to persuade him not to call police,purely for babys benefit. He was so vile it was ridiculous

[lcg]

god...i really do feel for you if it was that bad. if this continues, i suggest you do call the police, if only to remove him from your property and give him a wake up call. it's really difficult being in that situation....i have had to call the police before when mr kicker becomes really unwell and i can't deal with him on my own anymore (he becomes a danger to himself). it's a hard thing to do but you can't put up with that kind of s.h.i.t. if he does it again. make sure you look after yourself and others in the household. what is he like with the gf when they are on their own? x

[lcg]

i'm signing off, smow, as i really need to try and get some kip before 6am. do let us know how things are and if there is anything we can do....even if it is just listening and getting stuff off your chest. i hope you get some sleep too and not condemmed (sp.) to rubbish tv or surfing the web! take care of yourself x

[Smowball]

Had a long think and have decided he isnt getting a card - his behaviour was too awful. And seeing as my birthday is 2 weeks before his I can guarantee i wont be getting one - in fact come to think of it he never sends me a card.