Loss of Libido

[Toothfairy]

I love my boyfriend with all of my heart, I live for him and I would die for him but we have a big problem and I dont know what to do.  We've been dating for 16months and at the beginning, as with all new relationships, we were very sexually active.  I am on the pill but due to constant spotting I had to change it.  Since then my sex drive has plumeted, actually, its disappeared completly.  I never feel like sex, when my boyfriend tries to initiate it Im void of all feelings, sex scenes on tv and in books do nothing for me and I've even tried self pleasure to no avail. When we do have sex I clam up and never climax, whereas before this was always a guarentee (lucky me :D) This has been going on for about 8months now and when it first started I was reduced to tears each and everytime we finished because I just felt so low, like I'm incomplete or something.  My boyfriend loves me and has never raised this as an issue as he realises its not something I can control. I went to the doctors last week to change my pill once more, I was hoping that as the changes coincided maybe it was a side effect from the pill but the doctor made a comment that the pill does not normally have an affect like this (im on the second day of the pill so its too early to tell if this has sorted it).  I am 23yrs old I dont want to have peaked sexually already, I want the normal appetite of someone my age. I'm secure in my relationship with my boyfy to know he would not dump me over this but I dont want to go the rest of my life feeling inadiquate and empty and I certainly dont want to be restricting him or make him miss out.  Are there any supplements I can take, self help books to read, anything that can help me? I always read in the advice columns about guys who lose interest but theres never anything about women. As you can probably tell this is really bringing me down and is effecting my life atm. Please help!

[WoWo]

Tooth fairy

With all due respect to him, your doctor is talking b*llocks. There is plenty of evidence that some types of the pill reduce libido and changing the pill is recommended. Check this site for some more info

http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/2436.html

Good luck, lets hope the new pill helps.

[natalie_1982]

I had this very same problem, and although it may seem extreme, due to other issues as well, I went to a counsellor at Relate who specializes in sexual relations.  He's fantastic and I'm sure would be able to help.  If you don't fancy going check out there website to see if the books would help.  Good luck honey X

[butter1]

I too agree with WoWo.. Some contraceptions do reduce libido.  I was told that the 'injection' reduces your sex drive but I have been fine on it for almost a year.  It affects people in different ways.  I would go back to your doctor and change your pill.  Good luck hun.x

[orbelc01]

Hi,

 

I'm glad that I'm not the only one!! I, like you have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and love him to death!! I recently had to change my pill as the old one was giving me terrible migraines. I have been taking a pill called noriday for about 7 months and I don't feel like sex either a lot of the time...it sort of comes and goes, sometimes I feel like my normal "sex drive" has returned and other times I just don't fancy it. It depends on the time of the month, but my periods have become completely irratic, my last one lasted 5 weeks, when before they only lasted 3-4 days and were every 28 days to the minute!! So I agree with the others, I reckon the pill can affect your sex drive, also sometimes seeing a male doctor they aren't so sympathetic!! My boyf does sometimes get a bit frustrated and paranoid (he can be insecure at times), but we work it out and I'm considering either coming off the pill altogether (with the risk of becoming pregnant - I'm 26 but not quite ready for babies yet!!) or changing the pill again, but that means feeling sick/hormonal and allowing a few months for the new pill to get into your system etc etc!! Nightmare!! I'm going to check out the websites the other have suggested, but I hope you sort it out - you are still young and although sex obviously isn't the reason you and your boyf are together, it certainly helps to cement the relationship. Don't worry about it too much, your boyf clearly loves you very much and it isn't an issue for him. Just get as much info about different options as you can - that's what I'm going to do - in the meantime - keep smiling!! :-)

 

Good Luck xx

[orange-gnome]

I had this problem too, I changed the pill 4 times and tried the injection. I also had a lot of spotting which didn't help! In the end I decided that I had had enough of chemicals in the pill messing with my body, hormones and thoroughly interferring with my sex life. I came off the pill and use alternate methods of contraception as there is a lot of choice out there, pick what is best for you. A few months after I came off the pill I felt better than my old self again. Unfortunately for my my fiance has a lower sex drive than me now! Oh well, life is all swings and roundabouts sometimes!!

[Mistopheles]

I had a similar problem, and like Natalie, I went to see a Relate counsellor. It was really helpful. Also, are you on any other meds? The pill can affect you, but so can other things - for example, antidepressants often ruin your libido.

[Morrisonker]

*hugs you* I know how you feel.  I hate admiting that sex affects my boyfriend and my relationship so much because I think it sounds shallow to complain about it when he loves mu so much.  But it can really ruin the way you think about yourself.

First thing I'd do is try talking to a female doctor.  Although male GPs should know the same things, if your GP has actually been on the pill and may be able to relate to any problems you have, you won't feel as though you're being ignored. 

Consider other contraceptives.  Maybe you could take a few months break from the pill and use condoms instead.  Yes, they're a hassle and messy but it will give you a chance to make sure that it is actually the pill which is lowering your libido.  There are many things, some of which you wouldn't even consider, which can affect your sex drive.  Clear your body of the chemicals and see if you feel better.  If so, go back to your GP and ask about alternatives.

Good luck, I hope you sort it out and get back to your normal self!

[Peri]

I was on the mini pill probably about 15 years ago and that was the main side effect, loss of libido.  Would a womens clinic know more that your doctor and be able to advise you because he has been no help.

[Toothfairy]

Hey guys, just wanna say thanks to you all for taking the time to help. Its been playing on my mind for a good few months now and I was at a loss. Last night I was feeling heaps better with the situation and when boyfy n I were getting 'close' I ACTUALLY felt a stir which we acted upon... and I was left with a beaming grin so theres hope for me yet!! If this pill (yasmin) does nothing to help then I will take your advice and go to see the nurse as Im registered to a practise as opposed to a specific dr which doesnt help! So thanks again.