Adoption Or Real Children

[struthMate]

In todays age what is the best option? I cant see a benefit of bringing a new human into this already overcrowded and struggling world. But adoption does not provide you with the same bond. I would feel guilty if I brought another life into this world. I would not feel guilty if I adopted. How can I sell this to my wife? She thinks the world and humans are amazing and we will continue to rule the earth for a long time

[SueMoneyRowley]

I don't think you get 'paid' when you adopt children!

[struthMate]

Sue you do. Well when you are providing temporary homes.

[waterboatman]

An adopted child is just as real as one you give birth to yourself.

[EDDIE51]

I was just about to make the same point as waterboatman.
What are 'adopted children' if they are not real children? Holograms perhaps?
You also seem to be getting confused between adoption and fostering , they are 2 diffrent things.
Fostering is temporary it is needed if the birth parents can not look after the children for some reason, foster parents are paid.
There is a huge shortage of foster parents , possibly you and your wife could think about fostering a child or children ?

[EDDIE51]

I should have added that most if not all adoption agencies and councils require the parents to prove their suitability for adoption by being foster parents first.

[rockyracoon]

My friends who adopted didn't have to foster first. I think that might be cruel to parents desperate for a child and maybe for the child as well.

[struthMate]

I have been arrested for GBH a few times but never actually done any time so I cant see it being an issue.

[Connemmara]

suemoneyrowl is quite correct - once you adopt they are yours for good and you just get the same benefits as the ordinary mum and dad - FOSTERING is the big money - I should know cos my neighbour across the street has over the years about 16 children and fostered every one of them of course they moved on - however her young daughter has custody of a little boy of 11 and she made sure is FOSTERING - she will never adopt him never.

[struthMate]

Connemarra thats what I have heard mate. Its big bucks I cant wait really.

[gness]

Is your wife female too?

[B00]

I well aware this might be a pee take of a post but if not I can't help but feel repulsed that the thought of possible money to be gained is a deciding factor on whether to adopt or not.

Just my opinion.

[Connemmara]

so struthmate it seems you are in it for the money

[sara3]

lol, perhaps struthMate would like my kids. I'd pay well.

and the cat!

[hc4361]

No chance of you fostering or adopting with your criminal record for GBH, mate.

[Iluvspikey]

I think that dispite you trying to come across as caring for society and trying to be a selfless person, you're exactly the opposite. Your poor wife entered into the marriage with you under the apprehension you would have a child/children together - now you say you were hoping she'd 'change her tune'. I hope she sticks to her guns

[Old_Geezer]

Traditionally it is the woman who hopes to change the man. Perhaps I ought not be surprised it is sometimes the other way about.

I don't think you can sell such a thing to your spouce. She will either agree or not. In any case I would suspect it unusual to consider one an optino to the other. If you wish to pass your genes on it won't happen with adoption. Although I write for a position of no experience I'd have thought most who wish to adopt also want their own children too.

All you can do is talk it through and hope to reach an agreement.

[Eve]

I also thing that unless your wife does a complete Uturn and is completely committed to adoption then you will not (and should not) as a couple get passed stringent adoption tests.

Even if you did, it would hardly be fair bringing a child into an adoption where one parent is not committed to adoption, may not bond with the child and may have resentment issues over wanting her own biological child.

[Sharingan]

If you foster you get paid, if you adopt the child is considered yours and is treated as if you had had it in a natural manner- no money involved except child benefit. If you are thinking of children for money you are not what any child needs as a parent.

[Old_Geezer]

Traditionally it is the woman who hopes to change the man. Perhaps I ought not be surprised it is sometimes the other way about.

I don't think you can sell such a thing to your spouse. She will either agree or not. In any case I would suspect it unusual to consider one an option to the other. If you wish to pass your genes on it won't happen with adoption. Although I write from a position of no experience I'd have thought most who wish to adopt also want their own children too.

All you can do is talk it through and hope to reach an agreement.

[MadMen]

How did you get on with the slalom...?