30 Something, Single, No Kids

[EvianBaby]

If you were in your 30's and single, with no apparent relationship prospects but you'd always had a strong desire to have your own family, would you look find a way to conceive knowing that you'd be a single parent or would you leave it to fate and take the chance that it might never happen?

[ummmm]

Hard to say because I have kids but I think I'd leave it to fate. I might try and give fate a helping hand though by getting out and about more.

[craft1948]

As ideally (IMO) a child should have 2 parents involved it it's upbringing I'd take the chance it may never happen.

[ummmm]

You start a new job soon. You never know what doors that might open.

[China Doll]

If I had a strong desire to have children then I would look in to going to a clinic for articifical insemination (is it still even called that?) I've never had that ticking clock thing although i think I'd like children.

[boxtops]

I'd leave it, and see what happened.

[Sharingan]

For me personally I think that you need to be prepared to be a single parent even if you are in a relaitonship because anything can happen, and I would never have children just because I was in a stable relationship, I would want them in their own right as a single parent anyway. As someone is bound to point out any minute I'm quite young but I really do think it's a sensible thing to make contingency plans so on that basis if you are sngle and want a child and can support it and nurter it I see no reason not to.
The one downside is that some men don't like other men's children so you might curtail your prospects of a partner in the future, but then you wouldn't want a man like that anyway, so I can see no reason.

[rockyracoon]

Tough one, I have kids and didn't struggle conceiving so am not qualified to answer with any sense of qualification. I have a friend (now 46) who was in the same position as you, she left it to chance and is now resigned to never being a mother, it's a shame, of all my mates, she's the one who was born to be a mum.

[mazie]

Absolutely correct Sharingan. My Daughter was in what she thought was a rock solid marriage, had her 3rd child and he buggered off. She's been bringing them herself since the youngest was 6 months old

[albaqwerty]

one of my friend's couldnt have children so they adopted. 2 years later, they had one of their own, and now have 4 in total.

[woofgang]

well a person might end up having to manage as a single parent but IMO its not fair to the kids to do it on purpose.

[AlwaysConfused]

If I thought it might not happen, I'd find more satisfaction in fostering or adoption and give a child/ren a head start or a second chance in life.

[LDC134]

I would take the chance now, my friend was in a very similar situation to you, and left it to fate- she is 42 now still single and probably too late to try for a baby as a single parent. Such a shame as she really wanted to be a mum.

[AlwaysConfused]

My mum never planned on having another baby, thought she was well past it so probably ignored contraceptives etc. She was pregnant at 49 and now has a happy, intelligent child who she loves, nurtures and guides through life. She was always a good mum to me and my older sister, but is as excellent mother for our youngest sibling. She is most patient and understanding, I think life experience has definetly played a part. So, leave it to fate? I can happen

[albaqwerty]

My mother was 42 when I was born.

One can also end up with a happy family with step-children or a single parent through the death of a spouse.

That's life.

[ganesh]

You are only in your 30s so there is no urgency. Call me old-fashioned but surely you would prefer to know the father of your child and even better have a family with someone you love? Also to have a child grow up without a father (deliberately) sounds selfish to me.2 parents are better than one financially for a start.And if you are thinking of going down the test-tube way then it's expensive and uncertain.What about when your child is grown up?Think about how they may feel about that!

[EvianBaby]

It was just a question. I'm not exactly planning on having a run of one night stands this weekend.

I realise there are people who have kids well into their 40's but I know that there's also a higher risk of problems the older you get. To be honest I can't see myself being happy if I'm childless in 20 years.

[suzecruze]

Take life as it comes. I got fed-up from the age of 30+ with men that were scared of me because they thought I only saw them as baby makers. At 37 I met my husband but he doesn't want children. I'm fifty in June and completely happy. Think of all the time you can spend on your partner if you don't have rug rats running around.

[ganesh]

It was just an answer!
Sounded like you were asking a serious question,so expect serious debate.

[vodkancoke]

EB I have the same thoughts every day. I have decided if I am still childless when I am 40, I will (hopefully) foster children.

[EvianBaby]

I've looked a little into fostering but there's a few reasons I just don't think I could do it. Adopting isn't ruled out though.