What Would You Do

[Connemmara]

My sister is just after telling me about a lady she met in a supermarket last week and I will try and make it short. Her daughter (white) is marrying an indian this year with a full blown white wedding. She has been with him for 14 years and 2 daughters.

However the lady in question called to her daughter's house and daughter was not in - the indian man called her up to the bedroom (ie that is his future mother in law) and he was lying in bed with himself exposed and asked her to touch him up. She is devastated - she has not told her daughter - she does not know what to do. We all know what she should do of course tell her daughter but from my end of listening I don't think the daughter will believe her. What a very sad situation. What would you do?

[sara3]

she had a key to let herself in?

[friedgreentomato]

Does your sisters friend live in Northern Ireland?

[Connemmara]

I would say so Sara it was her daughter's house and probably had a key many times to look after say her grandchildren etc.

[boxtops]

I'd like to think that she gave him a piece of her mind, and left rapidly. I don't know what else I'd do.

A stranger in a supermarket told your sister this story? - that's the bit that amazes me.

[society]

That's very embarrassing. Me, I'd tell daughter whether she believe me or not is up to her.

[Connemmara]

no sorry not a person she just met - knows her a very long time perhaps 30 years

[tamborine]

tell d'ter she saw him with a ho & he has VD

[Prudie]

As a mother she must tell - terrible situation when the messenger might get shot but that's the right thing to do. It's a bit odd he's approached his MIL like that out of the blue mind you.

[jake-the-peg]

Is there some relevance in the fact that he's indian?

[boxtops]

I hope not - the incident would be unpleasant whatever the race of the bridegroom.

[Prudie]

None whatsoever jake

[Sharingan]

Is your sister sure that her friend is a reliable source of information because it seems so unlikely? How does her friend feel about her daughter's marriage?

[ummmm]

I would have smashed his face in.

[boxtops]

...or whacked him in the groin with my handbag, then contacted the daughter and asked him to explain to her how he came to be injured in that quarter.

[China Doll]

Sounds unbelievable to me, I don't think I'd straight out believe what some bird in a supermarket had told me over someone who my daughter had known and trusted for 14 years.

I don't see what the race of any of these people has to do with anything.

[silliemillie]

If it is true then maybe the fella does not want to get married & is hoping she will tell the daughter,,strange he hasnt done anything similar in the past 14 years.

[China Doll]

Oh I see, it was the mother in law that was propositioned.

I'd say I would still find it hard to believe personally.

[jake-the-peg]

Are we sure it's not relevant?

Do you know this friend of your sister well enough to take this at face value?

Is it possible she disapproves of mixed marriages and has her own reasons for telling this story?

What I would do would depend who 'I' am

If I am you or your sister I'd stay well out - even if I take it at face value

If I am your sisters friend I'd have to make a judgement call as to whether this was some one off mistake or symptomatic of a wider problem.

Kids are involved and you don't want to kill a 14 year relationship lightly - her daughter might not forgive her.

Personally (I'm male so she might not feel as comfortable about doing this) I'd try and meet him and talk to him about his relationship. If I was then worried that this was part of a wider problem I'd probably try and get him to cancel the wedding and talk to his fiancee about his problem.

Better for him to tell her than for your sisters friend to

[tamborine]

Its well known Ho's are in Lapland