Contacting Lost Relative

[roxie_09]

Hi all, I haven't long found out that my father has two inoperable brain tumours and cancer in the spine. I haven't seen him since I was 5 and I'm now 23. I want to write him a letter but have no idea what to put into it. I would be greatly appreciated if anyone can give me any ideas. Thanks :) xxx

[rockyracoon]

That's sad roxie, why don't you just write how you feel. Not knowing the circumstances around your estrangement it's hard to advise, would you not like to see him before it's too late?

[LoftyLottie]

In my opinion, just speak from the heart and not the head, but obviously avoid bad feelings. No-one here knows you or your father or anything about your relationship and we could only ever know your side of things. I think it is very nice that you want to write to him - do it sooner rather than later.

My Dad died from brain cancer. Very sad :o(

[LoftyLottie]

Rocky and I obviously feel the same and, as Rocky says, perhaps you would like to meet him again.

[flump1]

You haven't had a falling out with him roxie, so just write from your heart and tell him of your life. All so very sad , xx

[roxie_09]

Thanks both. I know he was very young when I was born and maybe couldn't cope with having a child. Him and my mum broke up while she was pregnant. Since I saw him last he moved to the other side of London (I live in cardiff). I don't hold any bad feelings or grudges towards him but don't know where to start xxx

[rockyracoon]

I always feel a bit inadequate answering questions of this nature so I'll just say what I think I would do in your circumstance. I'd write telling him that I had no bad feelings and don't bear any grudges, I'd tell him about growing up, what I'd achieved and where I'm at now. I'd tell him I'd like to have a chance to meet him (if you do).

It might be good for him to hear that you've done well despite him not being around and make the end of his life a little more bearable. This is of course if he deserves it, only you can decide that.

[rockyracoon]

Sorry, forgot to add

Good luck with whatever you decide to do, I think it'll be emotional whatever

[roxie_09]

Thank you rocky xx