Unsettled Toddler

[Chasingcars]

We went cold turkey on a dummy for my little girl, now 16 months a few weeks ago.
For the first few days, although she took a little longer to settle initially at bedtime she slept through the night very well and if she woke, she did self settle.
Now, all of a sudden a few weeks on, when I put her down at her usual time, instead of going to sleep on her own, as soon as I start to leave the room, she puts her arms up as to say 'dont leave me' and gets hysterical. Ive tried leaving her for a couple of mins and going back but she is literally screaming. She cant be in pain as when i pick her up and cuddle her she then just babbles away as usual saying dadadad or mumum etc, falls asleep again until i try and put her back down...i think she is playing me!
Also when she wakes in the night, rather than just snuffling and turning over back to sleep, she is crying like she is genuinly upset and i dont know why...she isnt hungry and she doesnt need a change. It seems to have got worst last few days but this is long time since we got rid of dummy.
Anyone have any ideas why this sudden change in sleep pattern? I thought maybe the clock change but this late in the evening surely it wouldnt make a difference as it would be dark be it 10pm or 11pm.
Could she be having bad dreams at this age?
Any advice welcome, feel like we have gone back a year!
Thank you x

[sherrardk]

I let mine have their dummies for as long as they wanted them - I gave it to them, pretty mean to take it off them (after a certain age they didn't have them outside of the house though).

[Cloverjo]

I don't know if the lack of dummy is the problem. The usual advice for this type of sleep problem is not to pick her up or cuddle her. Gently comfort her by rubbing or patting her back until she quietens and leave the room while she is still awake, so she gets used to falling asleep alone again.
I had terrible trouble with my son's sleeping when he was a baby, so I sympathise. I found the dummy to be the main problem for him as I'd have to get up six times a night to plug it back in his mouth. I wouldn't do that again (if I'd had any more children), so I think you did the right thing by getting rid of the dummy at night.
Incidentally, I weaned him off the dummy by tying it to the stair post so he'd have to sit there alone and be bored if he wanted it.

[woofgang]

I don't think that children of that age can play you. Try giving her the dummy back and see if it helps.

[fairycakes69]

Could be she is starting to realise that she is going to bed and you are leaving her to sleep. I know it's upsetting but once you have put her down, wait outside her door till she settles, it may take a while to start with, but it will get shorter once she realises you won't pick her up when she cries. I know it sounds harsh, but you know she is safe and nothing wrong with her. As for waking at night, could be bad dreams, (one of mine used to have night terrors,) just go in put your hand on her back or stroke her face till she settles. Do not pick her up or speak to her.
Good luck, it may take time, but will work in the end.

[pixie373]

I never used dummies, but after a few weeks of not having one, i very much doubt that's the problem now. It sounds like a little separation anxiety, which is quite normal at her age. Stick with a reassuring routine, bath, story, bed and if she wakes up, calmly reassure her, without too much fuss and go back to bed.

[belrec]

tricky one my boy had his dummy until he was 3 (arrrgghh I know) that said after about 18 month it was ONLY at bedtime. Don't think it is the dummy though, and i dont agree that toodlers can play you, yes they can.

it is possible that she has gone through a little maturing and now undertsands that when you leave her at bedtime she is alone.

Mine gril was the same and even now at 8 she occasionally plays up at bedtime just like when she was tiny.

perhaps a cuddly toy as a comforter instead?

i agree that picking her up could be causing more trouble and the patting her in bed worked for my girl, reassuring words etc, you can even sit with her for a bit then gradually shorten the time.

good luck xx

[ummmm]

Toddlers are the masters at playing you.

[soapnumpty]

My daughter is 18 months and she never had a dummy (not that I disapprove of them, she just wasnt interested). She went through a faze a few months ago so probably around 14-16 months of waking at 2-3am hysterical and screaming. I think it was just separation anxiety. Nothing we did would settle her and we ended up having to pick her up and then every time we put her back in her cot she would scream again. I doubt the dummy is the problem now, it could just be separation anxiety as it peaks around this age. We tried a few times taking her into bed with us but this just made it worse the next night as she expected the same. We just had to ride it out in the end and leave her to cry, as horrible as it is. She did go back to sleep but some nights it took up to 45 mins or more.

You could try sitting in her room for a while so she knows you are there, and it might reassure her.

Good luck!

[black_cat51]

hello, Woofgang, you are very naive if you think that 16 mo can't play you!
is there a particular reason you want rid of the dummy? perhaps she could just have it at night? my toddler still has a dummy in bed, she's a bit older than yours. I am planning for the dummy fairy to come and exchange all the dummies for presents this christmas!

[anjlegs]

I took my daughters dummy away when she was 3 and she then started sucking her thumb. I did the same with my son and he had no problems sleeping after , he did'nt suck his thumb. I think some children need comforters and some don' t .