I'm Gonna Be A Dad! :s

[wickedgrin]

Just stumbled across this site while searching on google and thought it looked great.

Not really a proper question as such but if anyone has any advice for me that would be great.

So I've been with my girlfriend about 3 months now and today she told me she is pregnant and its mine! ****!

I'm 33 (and she is 26) so I know that everyone probably thinks I should be totally ready for this, but I'm not.

I'm not even sure that I want to be with her you know, everything is so new and now i feel trapped. and before anyone makes any comments yes we did use protection, got no clue how this happened.

Not expecting any answers really, just venting

[murraymints]

hello wicked and welcome to answerbank...have you spoken to your girlfriend about how you feel ? she may be just as uncertain about all of this... 3 months is most certainly far too short a time to commit I would agree...you need to lay all your cards on the table , make your feelings clear and explore all your options..sooner rather than later !

[pixie373]

I think you'd better have a chat with her. Does she want to be with you? Have you asked her? She'll probably be on a bit of shock, too, so give her lots of support. It's up to you two. Good luck x

[wickedgrin]

Actually thinking about it now, I don't think I was very supportive at all when she told me. I was in total shock, not expecting that one coming at all!

Also just want to clarify that not saying I DON'T want to be with her, just feels like too much commitment now. (Yeah I know a male cliche)

Thanks for your answers, might give her a call now I have calmed down a bit!

[murraymints]

better to discuss this face to face ! good luck !

[joeluke]

You're 33 so grow pair and stand by your girl

[wickedgrin]

Just spoke to her, she is coming round a bit later. Not sure what to say yet but...

Hey JoeLuke, I said I was 33, not mature for my age! Haha!

[murraymints]

you have to remain calm remember she will probably be as shocked and scared as you are..ask her what she wants ..then look at all your options and discuss in a rational manner

[whirlyhurly]

"and its mine" ! why? are you surprised it may not have been ??

[pixie373]

Not really a male cliche. In my observation, it's often the pregnant woman who suddenly wonders whether they want to stay with that person- it makes them look ahead and think about what they really want. Be careful not to assume too much and listen to each other.

[2sp_]

Trust me, even when you have been together for years and have planned your pregnancy you still wonder if you are really ready for it.

Good luck.

[Gladiatrix]

Congratulations!

I know you are unsure about it now, but just get used to the idea. I'm sure everything will be fine and you will release it is meant to be.

[Sqad]

Get out of the relationship as soon as you can with the least amount of ....."damage."

\\\\\I'm not even sure that I want to be with her you know, everything is so new and now i feel trapped. \\\\

That says it all.

[excelsior-1]

good evening wickedgrin - and welcome to answerbank

i cannot claim to have enough experience to advise you on this matter, but i would just like to say that i hope you can resolve your dilemma in a way that will satisfy both of you

good luck

[black_cat51]

how is she feeling about it?

[DTCwordfan]

sick perhaps, black-cat?

[Jeza]

Does she want the baby? Do you? There are several options. Talk to each other.

[wickedgrin]

So many people have been busy replying while I was gone.

So we have just finished having a very intense talk. She is adamant that she wants the baby so I guess that means we are having it.

I'm not sure what I want, before this morning it hadn't even really occurred to me that I might be a dad. If I had final say I would probably abort, but its not really up to me is it.

Oh and by the way whirlyhurly, of course I'm not surprised it is mine, it was just my frantic mind trying to get out of a sticky situation.

She wants to move in with me. I almost flipped when she suggested that, but think I just about managed to stay calm. I didn't agree, but didn't exactly disagree either, too stupid for my own good perhaps. Still not sure what to do about this, I guess it might be a way of finding out if we can make it last.

If I'm totally honest what I want to do is run as far away as quickly as I can, but I'm not going to do that. I know that would be totally unfair on both her and the baby.

So I guess I need to start saving for baby stuff now!

[sherrardk]

Just cross your fingers and hope it's not twins!

[wickedgrin]

Twins would not be funny!

[ladybirder]

Why are you sure it's yours when you say you used protection wg?
And if it is yours you can support her without her moving in with you. You sound as if you are allowing yourself to be pushed into things you don't want to do.