Elderly Relative

[chokkie]

Hi folks, we have an elderly relative who is cared for by his wife - he is 97 and his wife is nearly 85. She finds it more and more difficult to look after him and, whilst she is getting some respite care from social services, what she really wants is for him to go into a home, so she can get her life back. Looking after her husband is really impacting on her own wellbeing.

We are of the understanding that a person cannot be put into a home without his/her permission - and this old man does not want to be looked after by anyone else than his elderly wife - who cannot cope with it any more.

The gentleman's daughter has identified a care home in his local area, but is there any way in which the old man can be put into a home - other than by his wife "leaving him" so he won't have anyone to look after him and has to go into a home.

Just wanted some advice and guidance, please. Thanks. Chox.

[janbee]

Can't he be taken in for a month or so for some respite care and to give her a rest? I KNOW it's a difficult situation. Many families have this dilemma. It's NEVER a easy decision. Can't the lady's GP help in this situation? Maayb he/she could advise he be taken in to care.

[janbee]

^MAYBE

[Buenchico]

Age UK has a telephone advice line and, possibly better for the elderly lady, local advice centres. They encounter situations like the one you describe every day, so they'll be well-placed to advise on what options are available:
http://www.ageuk.org.uk/what-we-do-love-later-life/we-provide-advice/