ChatterBank0 min ago
Quite A Serious Dilemma
20 Answers
OK - youngest female sprog has two kids (nearly 7 and just-turned 5). Eldest is a v. v. intelligent boy - but a discipline problem; youngest (girl) is already composing songs and is very musical and artistic (not on this planet when she is in her own world - it runs in the family).
They were both in the local village school before the family moved v. recently.
This school has just failed its third OFSTED and (as an ex-teacher) I am hugely concerned about their basic lack of reading and writing skills.
The new local school has an excellent OFSTED rating and, because a family has moved out, 2 spare places. Here is the problem. Daughter went along to tell this school that they would fill the places. Fine, but she is a Teaching Assistant (especially skilled in dealing with Autistic children) and cannot deliver and collect my grandchildren to school hours. i.e. she will be15 mins. after end of school before she can collect them and ditto before school.
The school has let-out to a firm the cover for this time and the cost for 2 small children (already breakfasted)is going to be £700 p.c.m. My daughter brings home c. £800 p.c.m. from a difficult and skilled job. All parents have complained, but school is inflexible on budgetary grounds.
Seriously, daughter is good at her job and helping children with problems to
achieve, but in a few weeks time she will have to give in her notice.
I have all sorts of thoughts in my head, but opinions would be welcomed. :)
They were both in the local village school before the family moved v. recently.
This school has just failed its third OFSTED and (as an ex-teacher) I am hugely concerned about their basic lack of reading and writing skills.
The new local school has an excellent OFSTED rating and, because a family has moved out, 2 spare places. Here is the problem. Daughter went along to tell this school that they would fill the places. Fine, but she is a Teaching Assistant (especially skilled in dealing with Autistic children) and cannot deliver and collect my grandchildren to school hours. i.e. she will be15 mins. after end of school before she can collect them and ditto before school.
The school has let-out to a firm the cover for this time and the cost for 2 small children (already breakfasted)is going to be £700 p.c.m. My daughter brings home c. £800 p.c.m. from a difficult and skilled job. All parents have complained, but school is inflexible on budgetary grounds.
Seriously, daughter is good at her job and helping children with problems to
achieve, but in a few weeks time she will have to give in her notice.
I have all sorts of thoughts in my head, but opinions would be welcomed. :)
Answers
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Take the places and work out the logistics afterwards. Perhaps she'll meet some new friends/Mums who can collect the children for her and she picks them up from the friends house. Sounds like she works part time? Can she do that one day and have the after school club another? What about the father, can he take flexi hours and take a turn once a week?
All your daughter needs to do is to find another parent, with a child at the same school, where your daughter can drop off her children at their house in the morning and collect them from there in the afternoon. (Lots of parents around here have similar arrangements). Some parents would be happy to help out for free, while others might want a nominal payment (of perhaps a tenner per week).
That is ridiculous, how can they get away with that. When my youngest was at school I used to have a girl in the same school be dropped off at my house about 8.30 and I would take them both to school for nine and collect at home time, school was just five mins away. The mum had found me just by word off mouth.
Thanks all, but:
Tilly : School contracts say that supported students will be supported throughout the school day (I thought of that, an unpaid early 'leave').
Prudie: I've suggested an Independent school, but for 2 it is more than twice that (one sproglet attends one because of time constraints). She's seeking childminders, but they are all full - because of school hours.
Maydup and Buenchico - that's what I am inclining towards, but they are very new to the area. It's what I and most people did -but it doesn't seem to be as simple and easy as it used to be. 'Friends & family' isn't acceptable any more. I'll keep pushing it. Unfortunately, because Sprog is late at school gates, she doesn't get to meet the other mums.
Tilly : School contracts say that supported students will be supported throughout the school day (I thought of that, an unpaid early 'leave').
Prudie: I've suggested an Independent school, but for 2 it is more than twice that (one sproglet attends one because of time constraints). She's seeking childminders, but they are all full - because of school hours.
Maydup and Buenchico - that's what I am inclining towards, but they are very new to the area. It's what I and most people did -but it doesn't seem to be as simple and easy as it used to be. 'Friends & family' isn't acceptable any more. I'll keep pushing it. Unfortunately, because Sprog is late at school gates, she doesn't get to meet the other mums.
How do they get on with the neighbours ? Might they be prepared to help as long as there was some kind of quid pro quo ?
If not (and not everyone is happy to feel obliged or cope with someone else's kids) is there no family members nearby who can help ?
Do they even have to be taken and collected ? I don't know the distances concerned for you but I know I wasn't as a kid. Admittedly the schools were both about 15 minutes walk away.
Or maybe, if they have met other mothers during the child's life and swop stories etc, something could be arranged with one of them.
If not (and not everyone is happy to feel obliged or cope with someone else's kids) is there no family members nearby who can help ?
Do they even have to be taken and collected ? I don't know the distances concerned for you but I know I wasn't as a kid. Admittedly the schools were both about 15 minutes walk away.
Or maybe, if they have met other mothers during the child's life and swop stories etc, something could be arranged with one of them.
this is the same dilemm that thousands of parents have when their children go to school. Are you sure she has it right? £700 quid for 2 children to be looked after for 2.5 hours a week sounds utterly ridiculous to me.
Mind you, she's lucky to even have that option -my daughter is starting school in sept and the first school on our list didn't have any wraparound care, the second did, but had a long waiting list.
Mind you, she's lucky to even have that option -my daughter is starting school in sept and the first school on our list didn't have any wraparound care, the second did, but had a long waiting list.
It does seem a ridiculous amount. Works out at £9 per child per session - but she only wants about 10/15 mins. cover, not the whole hour and they insist on the whole amount being paid.
There are 2 other reachable schools which are rated as good and they are investigating them, but it will probably be the same story.
I used to walk home from school, as O_G says, but it is a narrow country lane with no pavements and to be honest I wouldn't trust my grandson not to be completely idiotic (and his sister would follow blindly). If he were a sensible child, like me and my kids, that would be an option as by the time they walked home, daughter would have arrived. As he is, it's a no-no. I ride shotgun on him all the time he is with me and that works ok, but hard work. In less than 3 mins. at the weekend (he'd gone up to use the loo and suspicious me followed, thinking time was passing) he'd invaded Mr J2's study, moved a whole load of his carefully collected model cars (worth quite a bit) detatched the hoods from the convertible ones and removed several tyres. No permanent harm done, or intended - but that's what he's like. This is despite having been heavily lectured by his mum on the way here about not messing with our things. So, 'No' to trust. He was very penitent, but that's not the point.
I live an hour or more away, depending on traffic, as does other grandma. Sister used to live 3 miles away, but now they have moved there is no-one. Sis is nearest, but travels for her work and her daughter is the one at Independent School because after-school care is built-in. That's it for family, the rest are even further.
I shall suggest an advert in the post office and to see if the school has a website where she could ask.
They really don't know anyone. Husband finds social relationships difficult (you should meet his mum!) so doesn't mix and sprog is so busy with work and kids she never gets out.
I have thought that there is nothing wrong with being a mum for a few years and she could try to start up a business in cakes (she's a very good baker) but it would be such a shame for her pupils to lose her - had 'most improved' award for one of hers in French (rings me for phonetic pronunciation guide).
Well, I'll cogitate a bit more this weekend (Big Sis is coming tomorrow and will discuss) and try to advise.
Thank you all very much, it does seem a ridiculous amount - but says a lot about how much we pay our T.A's, who are so important to children.
There are 2 other reachable schools which are rated as good and they are investigating them, but it will probably be the same story.
I used to walk home from school, as O_G says, but it is a narrow country lane with no pavements and to be honest I wouldn't trust my grandson not to be completely idiotic (and his sister would follow blindly). If he were a sensible child, like me and my kids, that would be an option as by the time they walked home, daughter would have arrived. As he is, it's a no-no. I ride shotgun on him all the time he is with me and that works ok, but hard work. In less than 3 mins. at the weekend (he'd gone up to use the loo and suspicious me followed, thinking time was passing) he'd invaded Mr J2's study, moved a whole load of his carefully collected model cars (worth quite a bit) detatched the hoods from the convertible ones and removed several tyres. No permanent harm done, or intended - but that's what he's like. This is despite having been heavily lectured by his mum on the way here about not messing with our things. So, 'No' to trust. He was very penitent, but that's not the point.
I live an hour or more away, depending on traffic, as does other grandma. Sister used to live 3 miles away, but now they have moved there is no-one. Sis is nearest, but travels for her work and her daughter is the one at Independent School because after-school care is built-in. That's it for family, the rest are even further.
I shall suggest an advert in the post office and to see if the school has a website where she could ask.
They really don't know anyone. Husband finds social relationships difficult (you should meet his mum!) so doesn't mix and sprog is so busy with work and kids she never gets out.
I have thought that there is nothing wrong with being a mum for a few years and she could try to start up a business in cakes (she's a very good baker) but it would be such a shame for her pupils to lose her - had 'most improved' award for one of hers in French (rings me for phonetic pronunciation guide).
Well, I'll cogitate a bit more this weekend (Big Sis is coming tomorrow and will discuss) and try to advise.
Thank you all very much, it does seem a ridiculous amount - but says a lot about how much we pay our T.A's, who are so important to children.
J...I had the same problem for a short while.....luckily I knew an elderly (probably younger than I am now...:-)) lady who was glad of a few pounds a week to have my son dropped off....walked around the corner to school and fetched from school for half an hour til I collected.
It's difficult to find someone to trust but has she tried on Streetlife?...x
It's difficult to find someone to trust but has she tried on Streetlife?...x
No, anne. I actually advised them against the move - but they fell in love with the house. It's a lovely house, but they are hard-pressed for the mortgage now, so very little money to spare.
Where they were living had 2 good schools which they could have accessed. The house was too small, but an extension would have been cheaper. However, older opinions did not count..... so now I'm trying to find an answer to the problem they have created. I also advised against the failing school they are in (checked it out with my background in education) but they went with it because the playschool group of friends were all going. I almost got into a stand-up row over it. :( Feel tired sometimes. :(
Where they were living had 2 good schools which they could have accessed. The house was too small, but an extension would have been cheaper. However, older opinions did not count..... so now I'm trying to find an answer to the problem they have created. I also advised against the failing school they are in (checked it out with my background in education) but they went with it because the playschool group of friends were all going. I almost got into a stand-up row over it. :( Feel tired sometimes. :(
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