Do I Have Repressed Memories Of My Dad Doing Something To Me As A Kid?

[nialicious2]

So, I don't exactly know how to put this but ever since I was in 4th grade (I'm a junior in high school now) I've always felt uncomfortable around my dad and I never knew why. I couldn't stand to be near him or have him sit next to me. He'd also just stare at me and say things like 'I have a right to stare at you because I bought you'. It's meant to be a joke but it just makes me uncomfortable. But recently, I started to vaguely remember stuff from when I was younger, like when he would wash me up in the morning before school, he d always push my lower body closer to his to the point where I d feel his penis against my butt and I just remember knowing I didn't like it at all but I never really thought about it until today. I think he might've done more to me at some point but I can t remember. I just know that I don t feel safe around him like I do my mom. I've looked up symptoms of child molestation and I have three of them (anxiety, depression (both that I've been diagnosed with), and low self esteem). When I was younger, before 4th grade, I was always told that I was very outgoing but now I m very quiet and always get scared of talking to people unless I really know them. I don t know if it s related to maybe past trauma but I think it might be. I don't know if this is just my own personal problem and if there's really nothing wrong or if I'm really not safe around my dad.

[LadyCG]

It certainly sounds like your father is trying to intimidate you and as a grown man he must sense your discomfort.

I would speak to your school Counsellor in the first instance. They might help you to unlock past memories.

Good luck x

[waterboatman]

I agree with what LCG has written. Something is not right!

[Old_Geezer]

I suspect it's very difficult to distinguish between repressed memories and false ones. I know in the past there have been scandals where "experts" encouraged patients to recall repressed memories which later seemed to have been created ones.

These seems the sort of issue best left to those experienced in the field and knowing the pitfalls. I've no idea what 4th grade represents but it sounds old enough to me that you might have a clearer recall of why you became more interested withdrawn. But do go seek someone to talk to.

[Old_Geezer]

"United Kingdom
In England, compulsory education begins with the first new term of the Reception year following a child's 5th birthday.[7] In practice, many children enter Reception at the beginning of the school year, aged 4. Fourth grade is the equivalent of 'Year 5' (ages 9–10) in England and Wales, Primary 6 in Northern Ireland and Primary 6 in Scotland - the sixth year of compulsory education in England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland.[8]"

[spathiphyllum]

I think you're looking for something that isn't there.

[spathiphyllum]

Why don't you talk to your mom about it if she makes you feel safe. Surely if she makes you feel safe she wouldn't let you near him? I'm sure she knows what he's like, considering how long she's known him.

[LadyCG]

//think you're looking for something that isn't there.//

Is that your professional opinion, Spath?

To what DO you attribute her hitherto unexplained anxiety, depression, low self-esteem and irrational discomfort around her father who clearly enjoys intimidating her?

[spathiphyllum]

04:57 Thu 22nd Aug 2019 - is that yours?

Not everyone with depression, anxiety and low self esteem has been molested by their father..

Pretty sure everyone born after 2000 has anxiety, depression and low self esteem don't they??

[ummmm]

It doesn't sound irrational if he's intimidating her.

The rest could be a number of things and don't always need a reason.

[spathiphyllum]

OG the OP is 16-17.

Equivalent to UK lower 6form.

[spathiphyllum]

The OP hasn't actually said she's intimidated by her father at all.

[ummmm]

Spath - //Pretty sure everyone born after 2000 has anxiety, depression and low self esteem don't they??//

No.

[ummmm]

//I have a right to stare at you because I bought you'//

^ that is a form of intimidation.

[spathiphyllum]

She said it made her feel uncomfortable, not intimidated.

[Old_Geezer]

I would depend on how it was said. Jokingly or threateningly. In any case it causes an issue, and might be worth saying it makes one uncomfortable.

[LadyCG]

Not a professional opinion at 04:57, merely an overview based on information given by the OP, taking her at face value.

I would dream of opining that she is remembering actual events or simply creating false memories.

[LadyCG]

*Wouldn't*

[spathiphyllum]

LadyCG, and that is what my answer was also. An opinion formed from taking the op at face value.


Nust we not forget we’re in an age where david beckham cant kiss his daughter workout being sexualised and scrutinised.

Ok ur anxious depressed and have little self worth, you also dont have the best relationship with ur dad... doesn’t mean he molested you.

If anything your conditions tell me that you’re an over thinker.

[ummmm]

Like OG posted, it depends how it's said.

[Barmaid]

//I would speak to your school Counsellor in the first instance.//

This ^.

Or in fact any responsible adult whom you trust and feel able to talk to.