Family Problem

[HongKongphooey]

I dont know if I am being unreasonable with this. My husband (We were both married before) owns a house which he bought before we met. We lived there in it for 16years. Then we bought the house we live in now, which we both equally contributed to, and is in joint names. Myhusband John still works for himself, mostly full time and I get a small wage for doing his books, part time,although he is 66 and now gets State pension. Last year when we left his old house, I was expected to completely redecorate it and prepare it for renting. He didnt help me at all. We then put it up for renting, with any income coming into an single account belonging only to John. He does remind me that its his house, but says any income will go towards us both. However the only tenants after 3months of advertising were a couple who had recently got together, he was a farm labourer and she was on full benefits. She had 2 kids. I strongly advised John not to accept them as tenants, I had a bad feeling about them. He ignored me, and the references came back ok. They moved in in February and after paying 1 months rent, the man announced he was now unemployed. Since then we havent had a penny in rent, even now. I have constantly liased with Universal credit, the letting agent and the council to try and get the arrears and get the tenants out. They have been abusive to my former neighbours, and generally very loud and obnoxius upsetting other neighbours. They are still living in the house, although the tenancy ended in August. John has done nothing. I have been completely stressed out about all this. John gets angry and says I am over reacting and its not stressful because its not money we would otherwise have! Also he says he'd rather have them living there cos if it was enmpty we would be liable for the bills and council tax. I cant talk to John about it, he gets really angry with me, if I say he should have taken my advice and not accepted these tenants. Finally between me and the agent, we have got the tenants to say they are leaving when the notice period is up on 17 Oct. I am still fighting Universal credit for the entire 7 months of rent. They ave told the agent they have booked storage and are moving out then. I know he is expecting me to completely redecorate and clean the house again when its empty. I have just started another part time job 24 hrs a week and told John he would have to be patient with me about getting the house redecorated and cleaned. He just got angry with me and said of course he 2ould be patient, but still expects me to do it all on my own. My stepson is somewhat sympaththetic, he knows his dad is difficult but doesnt interfere. Am I being taken advantage of?

[wolf63]

Yes, you need to make a stand or his bullying behaviour will continue.

Tell him to pay someone do so the work.

Good luck!

[pixie374]

If it is "his" house, it is reasonable for you to charge him for redecoration etc (after all, the "income will go towards you both...").
There is little point really now, saying you were right about the tenants... it's too late now. But I think you should decide what you are or aren't happy to help with, and make it clear.

[Cloverjo]

Yes, you are being taken advantage of. Get a decorator in as soon as you’ve got your awful tenants out. Pay the decorator from your joint bank account.

[Old_Geezer]

Yes. You needed confirmation ?

Your husband makes some valid points but I suspect it's simply to cover for his less than wise past decisions and lack of enthusiasm to do something and get stressed out now.

It'll be good when the bad tenants move out. Hopefully little damage etc. left. As for cleaning it, it's his house as he reminds you, so his job. He can think himself lucky if you give him a hand.

Alternatively he can use the vast amount of rent collected, minus tax, to pay a cleaning and decorating company to bring it back to a decent standard. Or sell it is another option.

[HongKongphooey]

thanks, I think I will try and make a stand,but I know he will be really angry, sometimes its easier just to get on with it, and avoid the rows. I think you are right ol geezer, he won't ever admit hes made a miatake with allowing these tenants to live there!

[ummmm]

Has he always been this angry?

[HongKongphooey]

No, ummm, only on certain subjects, this one imparticular. The rest of the time hes a reasonable nice guy. But its impossible to talk to him on this. Maybe deep down he feels guilty cos he doesnt do alot about it.

[Cloverjo]

HongKong, your husband sounds like mine.
Best to stand up for yourself and deal with the rows, or in my case, silence.

[Samuraisan]

Maybe you shouldn't try to score a point that you were right about these tenants and just make a stand about not having the responsability of getting the house in order again.

[Maydup]

Agree, leave whats gone before and simply have no time or energy to spend on either the property or its tenants in the future.