A Sense Of (Guilty) Relief

[pastafreak]

Over the past few months, my daily timetable had become increasingly controlled by the habits of my elderly dog. She was incontinent and my routine was all about when she woke, monitoring water intake so I could time when to take her out, how long I could go out, when I could be assured she was settled and we could both sleep. I spent a lot of time cleaning messes in spite of having puppy pads everywhere. The mop was always in use.
She also suffered with canine cognitive dementia...controlled somewhat with medication. But she had up and down days...she wandered a lot, walking in circles after eating,or after already having a good walk. When really bad, she got stuck in corners and I needed to rescue her. Settling down was on her terms...if she didn't want to settle, it wasn't happening. In spite of all this, she...mostly...ate well and still showed an interest in the outside world. I don't regret helping my old dear at all.
But, now, I'm experiencing a sense of relief...for me. My mental and physical energy is coming back...I actually want to get the tasks and general housecleaning done that I no longer had the energy to cope with. I don't think I realised how it had taken over. This is why I feel guilty. I miss her terribly...though at the end she wasn't there anymore.
Sorry for the long post, but I needed to put this into words.

[pixie374]

Good for you xx mixed feelings are perfectly understandable. And starting to appreciate a normal life, doesn't, of course, mean you love her any less. Make the most of it! Xx

[Rosie29]

I can't add any thing to pixies thoughtful post. Xx

[woofgang]

That's not uncommon in carers who care for people as well as animals. The guilt is horrible. Please please take comfort from the thought that you did all you could, gave your littlun all you could, and were an outstanding owner.

[pastafreak]

Thank you for the reassurance...I did feel as if some might think I was talking about an aging parent.
I just realised that I'm also experiencing waves of feeling as if I have no focus, as that has been removed. It's all rather unsettling.

[pixie374]

Give yourself more time, pasta xx it will take a while to readjust and start to realise you can relax a bit xx

[DTCwordfan]

not much difference, pasta, and it takes time to 'recover' - even now, eight months on to placing the Mater in a Home, I don't sleep that well.

[wolf63]

You have had a lousy time lately, first Caspar and now Sally.

My last dog was incontinent (it turned out that he had a bladder tumour) and it really screws up your sleep pattern and keeps you on edge all the time. When he died I felt really sad and very relieved. It's normal to feel like that.

Remember that to others they were 'just' a cat or 'just' a dog. But to those of us who love our animals, we understand that they were furry family and you loved them and they loved you.

♥

[Theland]

Love hurts. Give it time. You always did your best. X

[roopower]

I think what you are describing are the symptoms felt after the loss of a loved one, either human or animal, particularly when a lot of caring has been involved. There's nothing to feel guilty about, you did what you had to do and what you wanted to do, for a loved one. Now you have time for yourself so relax and unwind. Take care of yourself

[chrissa1]

Pastafreak. I went through the very same thing with my Lab, Toby. He was increasingly disoriented and unhappy. As you said, sitting in corners and shivering and then ok for a few days.

I made the decision to have him put to sleep and my vet agreed that it was the kindest thing to do.

Don’t feel bad about your life being easier now, you did the right thing for your beloved dog and you will always remember her with love.

[chrissa1]

https://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Animals-and-Nature/Question1581169.html

This was my question at the time, pasta. :(

[pastafreak]

Oh dear, I remember that thread chrissa. (
Did you ever get another dog?
People are already asking me...
Thank you all for helping me with my feelings x

[chrissa1]

No I didn’t, pasta. Being in my 70th year and having had 7 Labs over the years, I’ve hung up my leash.

Don’t feel guilty, you gave her a good life. XX

[pastafreak]

I'm a bit older, but think I'd have another...older...one.