Should I Tell My Girlfriend The Truth?

[BM92]

I’ve been with this girl for 2 years, and we are having a baby together. I love her so much, but one night I got drunk & slept with someone else.
I don’t like keeping secrets, and I’m disgusted with what I have done.
I truly hate myself, because she loves me so much, and I have broken her trust. I don’t like keeping secrets from her, and I want to be honest with her, even if that means she never wants to see me again.
I know what I’ve done, but I’m prepared to face the consequences. I love her very much, and I’m sorry I’ve let her down.

if I had a second chance I wouldn’t do it again.

A close friend has advised against been honest with her, and keeping a secret, to avoid the risk of losing her & my child.

I don’t want that, I really don’t, but I’m over consumed by guilt, self disgust, and remorse. I want to marry her one day, but I’m not sure I can based a marriage on secret, even though I really do love her.

What should I do????
OP's

[barry1010]

Hell no. That secret is your burden to carry, not your girlfriend's.

[TheWinner]

If you want to be honest: TELL HER THE TRUTH.

[JimF]

Unless you think that there's even the slightest chance of your girlfriend finding out about it, keep it to yourself and try to forget about it. Put it down to stupidity, and never do it again.

[goodgoalie]

Don't tell her, don't do it again and make sure you stay away from the 'mistake ' you slept with.

It is possible to keep even a 'big' secret like this ( I know from family experience), but the ONLY way to do it is to tell nobody - absolutely nobody. But have you already?

[lankeela]

Keep your gob shut!

[1ozzy]

4 out of 5 replies indicate you should keep your misdemeanour secret.
If you are willing to build a relationship on secrecy and lies, do so.
It's your choice.

[Smowball]

You’ve said youve made a terrible mistake, and if you are 100% sure it will never happen again, & that you truly love her, then keep your mouth shut, rather than risk your future.
Because I know, if my husband/partner told me that he had made a terrible mistake and been unfaithful, even just once, then I would show him the door and never ever forgive him. That’s just me.

[davebro]

At least 3 people know - you, the woman, your close friend. Chances are your partner will find out one way or another - better if it comes from you.

[murraymints]

Keep yer gob shut..! why put the pain onto her..live with it..!

[1ozzy]

Common consensus so far seems to be live keep your naughty little secret.
Then possibly spend your life feeling guilty.
Your choice..

[Peter Pedant]

keep your gob shut !
yes agreed - - once done, cant be called back

and you certainly do not want 20 y of - "I cannot trust you again", "you can you can!"

the only problem is you seem unable to keep your gob shut to us

[Peter Pedant]

// At least 3 people know - you, the woman, your close friend.//
er and us....

your close fren'......
so why are you asking us ?
if you are gonna tell, and need someone to say 'tell'
then tell

[barry1010]

You are consumed by guilt, self disgust and remorse. You hope that by telling her she will understand and forgive you so that you can feel better about yourself.

Selfish.

[Khandro]

Best answer to Barry 22:38

[Peter Pedant]

BA Barry
all this parading around of "I feel so so guilty"

as Judge Judy says- ya shoulda kept your pants zipped....

[davebro]

There's an episode of "Friends" where Ross has a one night stand & the guys say "Look for the trail / there's always a trail" back to the cheatee.

[Old_Geezer]

Do you want to confess for her sake; or your own ? What are the likely consequences of doing so, and will everyone feel good about the honesty, or bad about the incident ? And what then is likely to follow from that ? Mull these things over before deciding on the right thing to do.