Name For Something People Do

[joko]

What is it called when some people are there all day, every day, all year round, for the nitty gritty, etc - then others swoop in, a couple of times a year, throw cash about, act extravagant, treat everyone, then go again - but then act like they're the only ones that really care or make any effort?

it's used a lot with families with a mostly absent parent, or for siblings looking after elderly parents

i seem to recall there being a phrase that described it ?

thanks :)

[jno]

partly "emotionally unavailable" I suppose but that doesn't sound quite what you're after

[Hazi-Hammenuhoth]

Vulturising?!

[emmie]

largesse
/lɑːˈ(d)ʒɛs/
noun

1.
generosity in bestowing money or gifts upon others:
"presumably public money is not dispensed with such largesse to anyone else"
Similar
generosityliberalitymunificencebounty

[barry1010]

I know exactly what you mean, they do it to ease their conscience and buy favour. They usually have the money to flash around and certainly won't miss it.

There must be a name for them but it eludes me. This will drive me mad.

[sandyRoe]

Acting like a Lady Bountiful?

[Spicerack]

Blithe?

[1ozzy]

***

[1ozzy]

Well that didn't help

[Vicasso]

Seagulls,they swoop in, pinch what they can, fly off.

[woofgang]

I have seen in described as "Disney parenting" but that's when its an absent parent and children.

[Yeoma]

largesse

[Patsy33]

Submarines?
They surface once a year..

[Yeoma]

Stealing the limelight/spotlight ?

Social pretense ?

[NYAD]

An appropriate word is SHOWBOATING: an annoying form of behavior, especially in sports, that is intended to attract attention or admiration.
Some of its synonyms are pretty good: posturing; flaunting; making a show of it; or plain old show off.

[barry1010]

I like that, NYAD.

Sadly this behaviour can result in favouritism. They are the fun, generous relative that never has to admonish, insist on taking medication, attend school/appointments - just great humour, faux caring and gifts for a couple of hours whenever they can be bothered, leaving the stressed, knackered, full-time carer/parent to plod on.

[Yeoma]

Grandstanding ?

[calmck]

Grandstanding

[barry1010]

Blerdy grandstanding showboaters get on my wick

[tiggerblue10]

Fairweather?