Does This Mean I'm Being "Too Nice"?

[Heretoaskandansw]

I'm a woman and I buy little gifts for my female friends to make them happy. Even a chocolate bar or a little note. I've recently met a guy and I don't think I've done much for him honestly. We had an episode where we nearly made love and in the morning he couldn't get out of bed so I gave him a massage and put his glasses on his face. A few days before this I sent him some money because he was stuggling to find a job and he paid it all back to me within a few weeks. I've heard from his friend that he thinks I'm madly in love with him, because I'm way "too nice" to him. But I didn't even treat him half as nice as I treat my friends. Do guys really think you're desperate to win their hearts if you treat them well?

[bookbinder]

Some do, some don't. Just be aware that some people (not just fellas) can get the wrong message.

[DarceyK123]

I think its a real shame that people dont appreciate that you are just a genuine nice person.

Its more their problem than yours just carry on as you are, i hope you get paid back ten fold one day from someone who just sees you for what you are.

[Old_Geezer]

Probably depends on past experiences. If kind behavior is not something often encountered it may be seen as indicating more. Plus society still assumes that mainly the male is the one expected to 'chase' the female so if one get good vibes one is more likely to convince oneself that one's on to something.

[barry1010]

It's hard to get the right balance. Being overly generous with gifts can make the recipient feel obliged to give a gift in return, or make them feel uncomfortable and in your debt.
Perhaps they feel you are trying to buy their friendship and affection.
Sometimes friends and boyfriends just need you to listen to their problems, not sort them out.

[johnk]

Yes, and you are too too nice.

[Meaghan27]

Firstly, beware the 'friend' who make not be telling the truth. Ask the guy outright, truth and communication are always the best way forward. Ask him if he thinks you are being too nice, as you've heard from a 'friend' he may be mistaking your natural generosity and niceness for something else.

[coolgirlnet]

It is not necessarily true that being "too nice" to someone means that you are desperately trying to win their heart. People can have different perceptions of what it means to be nice, and what constitutes "too nice" can vary depending on the situation and the individual. In your case, it seems like you have been kind and generous to your friends and to the man you recently met, but that your actions may have been misinterpreted by him and his friend. It is important to remember that you cannot control how others perceive your actions, and that it is okay to be kind and thoughtful towards others without feeling like you need to prove anything. Ultimately, the most important thing is to be true to yourself and to do what makes you happy.

[Canary42]

I think it's maybe wishful thinking on his part. He may not have encountered such an exceptionally nice generous person before, and is initially bowled over. It sounds as though this relationship needs time to develop (one way or the other).

[Peter Pedant]

go on being youeerself

t your own self be true and it follows the night follows the day thou can be false to no man - Hamlet as per PP as I am too idle to look up the verbatim quote

[joko]

be aware that this is a 2nd hand msg with all his friend perceptions and assumptions in the telling, & then your
Perceptions & assumptions in the listening

hes sort of made it sound like he thinks your daft, & was being cocky but he may have been excited, happy feeling hopeful, and he may have been asking his friends advice to see whether he was in with a shot of something more.

just saying dont take his word ar face value, speak to the guy & go from there.