Are Children Forced To Grow Up Too Fast These Days?

[renegadefm]

I'm certain children are forced to grow up too fast and too soon these days.

 

My 9 year old daughter is in her last week of her summer holidays, but she just blurted something out to me today when we went out for a walk. 

 

She said Dad do you know our teacher has been recently telling us all about sex education, and wet dreams, and even had women and mens private parts on a big tv screen?  Frankly I was speechless, I said how did you feel about it, she said well I felt it was inappropriate, as me and my friends was embarrassed to say the least.

 

Deep down I was fuming because as parents I didn't realise this was going on in children as young as 8 to 9.

 

My God when I was a child in the 70's, 80's,  sex was never mentioned at least until big school, certainly not primary school. 

 

Why are they forcing that onto children so young these days?

If my daughter feels its inappropriate surely it is. 

 

Isn't it? 

[barry1010]

One of my old teachers was sent to prison in 2015 abusing pupils in the 50s, 60s and 70s - he is 100 now, if he is still alive.  It has always happened but now children are listened to.

They need to know what is wrong, they need to be able to express it and they need to be listened to. Education is key to this.

[renegadefm]

bednobs, 

Problem is times have changed so much its hard to keep up. 

I grew up in a very different time. 

I get the theory of teaching children that if an adult is doing something to them which is inappropriate they should know its wrong. But that's only half of the picture. They next stage is the child needs to feel brave enough to go to someone about it. Thats the barrier I was on about. 

Why else did lots of victims only say they were victims well into adult life? 

 

Plus why teach children about wet dreams as early as 8? Surely that is inappropriate?

There is the argument that if a child is armed with too much knowledge they will want to practice it at a very early age.

I didn't even have a girlfriend until I was 18.  My daughter had a boyfriend as early as 7. We never even thought of such a thing at that age. Its quite shocking how times are changing. But society is allowing it. 

[barry1010]

Boys can start having wet dreams at 9 years old, if they don't know what is happening they can feel shame and embarrassment - and can be scared of what has happened if they don't understand it.

 

[nailedit]

//Boys can start having wet dreams at 9 years old, if they don't know what is happening they can feel shame and embarrassment - and can be scared of what has happened if they don't understand it.//

 

I remember having my first wet dream just after I started high school. It filled me with terror. I didnt understand why I was ejaculating in my sleep. I remember trying to get semen stains out of my bed sheets before my mum saw them.

 

It wasnt until my last year of high school that I took human biology as one of my options and when it came the reproductive system my teacher explained about wet dreams.

No one will ever know the relief I felt that morning.

 

I started answering my own son's question about his body and the birds and the bees when he was 5.

[bednobs]

when my daughter started school at 4, i remember asking a q on here if it was too soon to be talking to her about innappropriate touching, as she was going to all of a sudden going to be out of  my company forr longer periods. some wise person said "paedophiles dont care if children are too young"

[barry1010]

Very true, bednobs. 

[DDIL]

Renegadefm, you and I are close in age (I  am 52) 

I was taught sex education at primary school at 9 years old.

there was no discussion with the parents it was just taught.

it made us more aware of our bodies and also taught us what was acceptable and what wasn't.

this is not a new premise 

[nailedit]

Having reread the OP, I have to say that yes, 9 yr old children SHOULD be taught the basics of biology. Periods, wet dreams etc. For both male and females these can be scary times when they start happening if they dont know about them. But showing pictures of genitalia to children this young is a no no from me. Save that for high school.

[barry1010]

Depends what the images of genetalia are like. Diagrams might be accessible.  Children with opposite sex siblings close in age will know the differences, surely?

My children grew up seeing us nude, often shared a bath when they were littlies.

I remember games we played in the playground at primary school

[nailedit]

My son and his (female) cousin, who were the same age, often shared a bath together when she had a sleep over at mine.

No doubt they played doctors and nurses!

But I shudder to think that they were subject to pictures of adult human genitals while so young.

[naomi24]

Children are taught too much too young.  

[renegadefm]

naomi24, 

Seems like only you and I agree with that. 

I just think maybe I'm old fashioned, but I tend to think children are not allowed to be children anymore. 

Far too much is expected from them at such a young age, and the result is a much higher rate of poor mental health in young teenagers. 

My eldest daughter who is now 20, had an eating disorder when she was at secondary school. It wasn't until she left school that she got over her mental health issues. 

The thing is times we're very different in my day, there wasn't so much pressure to go to UNI etc once you leave school, and there must be the feeling your never going to actually be free from being educated. I know for me personally I couldn't wait to leave school, get a job and be an adult, and I did just that. I was in full time employment by my 17th birthday. I actually started the day after my birthday.

When I left school it was like how I imagine leaving prison must be like. You have to concider times were extremely different, we still had the cane when I was at school, or at best you would have a board rubber chucked at you, narrowly missing your eye. 

Now if anything its the opposite, the children are the ones being aggressive. 

I personally think the whole world is upside down, and its only getting worse. 

I would do anything to rewind back about 40 years ago, pre mobile phone, pre Internet etc. I'm not really seeing many positives about the current times, and the future, it seems we have lost control of everything. 

[bednobs]

You are her dad. You can control what media she has access to if you are worried about it. If the school thing is bothering you, see the headmaster/mistress and all to see the material they were shown

[renegadefm]

bednobs, 

We have parental controls on all her devices. 

But I tend to think even though she only uses a child version of YouTube, some of the things I see on there is quite out there. Its hard to put into words but how I see children today compared to how children were when I was 8 or 9, is very different. 

Today its almost like age restricted stuff still manages to shock me sometimes. How is that possible I hear you say, well honestly I think its because we grew up with only 3 channels on the tele, no outside interference of the media in any shape or form. We didn't even have a landline until the mid 80's, to make a call we had to walk a mile down the road to a public phone box armed with a pocket full of 2 pence pieces. 

 

I don't honestly think children would cope today if we suddenly had to rewind back to those days. 

[nailedit]

Just curious renegadefm, at what age WOULD you educate your daughter about periods, (or son about wet dreams)?

[renegadefm]

nailedit, 

My son is 33, but I never mentioned anything sex related to him whatsoever, there just wasn't any emphasis to do so. 

Obviously daughters are a matter for their mums to teach about their personal things. 

 

But I just don't see how forcing this onto children at school and at such a young age is appropriate, that was my point really. 

If the child has a question it should be directed at their parents, not a teacher. Its personal things in my opinion. Not something for the classroom. 

[DDIL]

That's a good question Nailedit.

i started my period at 9/10.

Teaching a child about there anatomy after they have played drs and nurses and discovered themselves what interesting bits they have is too late!

[DDIL]

'Obviously daughters are a matter for their mums to teach about their personal things. '
 

wow, do they also learn how to be a good wife?

[barry1010]

Renegade, I left school at 15 and went straight in to a full time, responsible job like many of my schoolmates did.  There were only two tv channels when I was growing up, my parents didn't have a phone.

I moved to a different town for work when I was 16 and was totally self-sufficient.

Life is different now and I despair at some of the adult children still totally dependent on their parents in their 20s.  Not just for a roof over their head; they are behaving like 14 year olds and have no idea how to run a house or look after themselves.   Far from growing up too young, some young adults don't have enough responsibility, have very little to give them pride in themselves and are very immature.  Too much free time leads to trouble. 

You can take your daughter's devices off her; you can put all the child safety features on her devices if you are willing to let her have a phone or tablet.  None of that will stop her looking at her friends' tablets and phones.  Her friends will have older siblings who might take great delight in showing younger children unsuitable material.

It's no good living in the past, you have to deal with the present.

[barry1010]

Renegade, I've just read your last post.   You don't want the school to teach your children about their bodies and sex, it should be up to the parents you say - but you admit to not to discussing any of it with your son.  This is exactly why it can't be left to the parents.

As to mothers having to be the ones to discuss these issues with their daughters, I'm a bit surprised at your attitude.  Dads can discuss these things with their daughters.  One of my daughters asked me if boys thought periods were revolting.  When they were older one asked me if I was put off sex after seeing my wife give birth.

What will you do if your daughter starts her periods when your wife is out?