About a boy cont....

[what???]

So basically what I'm trying to figure out is: 1) why is he acting like this all of a sudden? 2) am I making a bigger deal of it than it is just cos of my feelings for him? 3) am I making a bigger deal of it than I should cos I'm a girl (although he is a very sensitive person) 4) are my feelings justified? 5) should I confront him and risk losing him completely?

In a way I'm kinda hoping I've actually offended him in some way so at least I could make ammends as opposed to him just being bored of me! I'm sorry I've whinged for so long!xxx

[lady_p_gold]

Well it is quite hard to comment as there is a lot of possibly things that could be happening .. my hunch is that he had similar feelings to you as you did to him, but he had a girlfriend and so he just went as far as he could go without it actually happening .. I think that he then either found that it was getting to the point that he could not handle it any more, or his girlfriend got a hint of the texts and put her foot down .... but the fact is, he is an adult and is not married and it is up to him to make the decision as to what he wants to offer in the way of future communication, so I would just scream into a cushion or eat chocolates or get drunk but try desperately NOT to say anything further until you have had a couple of weeks to step back from it all and take a deep breath as you may bitterly regret any action you may take at this time when you are hurting.

[sair5412]

Hiya,

What a frustrating situation!! I bet you jump as soon as your mobile goes in case it's him! I hate that feeling!!

I agree with lady_p_gold in what she has said about his girlfriend catching onto the texts etc and she has decided she feels uncomfortable with it and he obviously loves her and respects her enough to stop. Which, would make him a really nice guy (probably makes you like him even more!!) Have you thought how you would feel if you were her? I don't mean that in a nasty way, but I think I would get a bit p*d off if my boyfriend had a new "girl" friend. Alternatively, he has decided himself that he should stop because he is afraid of his feelings and worried he may cheat on his girlfriend, which again, would make him a nice boyfriend. Or, on the other (nastier) hand, he may have been trying to get you to fancy him (as some sort of sick male challenge) and when he finally "got" you, has now backed off as it's no longer a challenge. Some men do this, honestly!! I know some of the ****ers! Or (again!), he may have wanted you to take things further and you haven't and he is now sick of waiting. In which case he is a horrible shallow man! I'm sure he's not but I just wanted to give you all of the possibilities I can think of! By the way, men are very very good at being "sensitive" when they want something from a girl. I have 3 best male friends and I hear all sorts of dirty tricks!!

You are probably best trying your hardest to distance yourself and pretend like you never even saw him!! Yeah right! ~Impossible when you like someone!

Just try and carry on as normal around him, even if you feel like a)bashing him round the head, b)snogging his face off or c) bawling your eyes out at the mention of his name!

Good luck with it! All the best. Sair xx

[Minxie]

Go find yourself a nice man who is'nt madly in love with his girlfriend of 2 years!

[theren_911]

I'm not too proud to move in on a vulnerable woman...


"How you doin'?"

[nannon]

dont suppose his name is Corey???

He sounds like a player and i know its hard but dont do what i did and wait around for over a year convincing yourself he will leave her. Its more than likey he wont - non matter how much you try. And also if he did - would you be able to trust him?? And of course its a big deal - he sounds like a big part of your life. Like i said it took me over a year to take my life off hold and i swear its worth cutting all ties, but its not easy. It hurts like hell, i cried every day and my poor frineds must have got sick to death of hearing about him!!! But i know hurting like that for a while must have been better than hurting and waiting for another year and a half. Be strong and ask yourself if your ever truly happy, yeah it may be nice and lovely when you see him but think if how it feels when you part, your sat there knowing he going home to his girl, grabbing your phone everytime it rings or beeps cuz you hope it going to be him.... Get yourself out there and find someone who makes you feel good all the time - someone who you dont wait to call cuz you know that they are going to at some point.

Promise you it will get easier when you cut off all ties!

[what???]

thanks for bothering to write some advice down - all very useful and kinda along the lines I was thinking. The only confusing thing about it is, he's always been totally open with his girlfriend about when he sees me and when I stay over (in the spare bedroom obv!) and I've actually met her a couple of times and got on pretty well, although we don't really know each other. And I don't know why she'd be particualarly jealous now, like 9 months later. It's so strange. After having text him like I said asking in a joky way if he'd been busy, he came and saw me this morning for a chat for about 10minutes. But what was strange was he didn't even hug me goodbye or say he'd miss me or anything even though I'm now leaving the job and probably won't see him for 3 or four months! And I know he had time to come and see me again later but just didn't. And for weeks he's been saying he's gonna really miss me and he's dreading me leaving and now it's almost as if he couldn't care less. Plus, although I was glad to have a chat, I know it was because he felt he had to (because he is a genuinly nice guy, honestly...I think!) cos I'd texted him asking what was going on. And it was slightly awkward because on the one hand I didn't want to make him think he could just totally ignore me whenever he feels like it, but at the same time I'm worried I'm making this into a bigger issue than it really is so I was still being friendly. I had this whole emotional farewell image in my head and it was a complete flop in comparison. It's so depressing. Urgh...men!!! xxx

[what???]

O and theron - you a hot tottie?! xxx