.........Continued holiday question

[glammapus]

Should i go ahead and book a holiday with my girlfriends even though my boyfriend doesnt want me to go. I really want to go, also shes paying as its my birthday prezzie. Would anyone else go if they had a boyfriend??

[Hermit]

That's a tough one. I mean its all very well to say he has to trust you etc but these days, on a holiday??? The chances of doing the dirty on him even if you go away with the best intentions must be pretty high unless you don't drink. Maybe you should go on a holiday with your bf. Its a bit of a mean present from your friend as she knows the position she is putting you in. This might finish your relationship even if you don't cheat because he may get so worried; how important is he?

[4getmenot]

Yes, you answered it yourself really saying 'I really want to go' Whats having a boyfriend got to do with it, you should be able to do what you want, so do it. :-) He cant tell you what to do.

[nect4r]

I think you need to talk to him and ask him why he doesn't want you to go exactly - is it an issue of trust?
I went on holiday with my best friend last summer and it really wasn't a problem with my boyfriend, 'cause he knew I would never even think about cheating on him, drunk or not. Maybe he's scared he'll lose you? Has he had problems in the past with exes cheating on him?
Sorry if this comes across all armchair psychologist... Hope it helps a bit!

[PinkFizz]

What about your b/f and a friend coming on the holiday with you?? Then you can have the best of both worlds!!

[Champagne]

I would go on holiday with my friends. I couldn't think of any reason why my boyfriend would want to stop me, unless he was the jealous type, in which case that's his problem and he needs to deal with it and he shouldn't dump his issues on you.

[clarebear86]

i think you should go, if your going to cheat on someone after a few drinks then you can do it anytime like at the weekend when your out on the town just because your on holiday doesnt mean your automatically going to cheat, i have been away with my friends for the past 3 years and as long as i phone my boyfriend a few times during the holiday to let him know i am o.k he really isn't bothered, girly holidays are so much fun i think you will regret it if you dont go, im sure if it was the other way round your b/f would want to go with his friends.

[wonderwoman1]

i was in a similar situation, i had a boyfriend and my friends wanted to go to magaluf, i told him, he flipped his lid but he came round to it!

they cant tell you what to do! you have your own mind, if it was me i would go!

[ktlou]

I had planned a big girly holiday one summer a year before I met my boyfriend. He seemed ok until just before we were going to go and then he flipped. He said it wasn't that he didn't trust me or want me to have a good time, it was other guys and the girls I was going with that he didn't trust. I almost didn't go on the holiday, becuase I felt weird going without him, but I went in the end. I missed him like crazy and had a pants time (becuase of the people I went with) and was worried that when I got back he wouldn't be around anymore because he was worried about what would happen while I was away.

As it was, when I came back we were all good and still together 4 years later, but now we would never book a holiday away from each other!!

[ktlou]

Also, forgot to mention above, I think you should think about how you would feel if he said that he was going on a lads holiday without you. Would you have a problem with that or would it be no big deal?

[Hermit]

Well I seem to be outvoted and I must say its quite comforting to know that so many women out there are so sure they could/would be faithful. Ladies, you have restored my faith, well almost. I think glammapus that you need to search your conscience tho -only you know what you might or might not do drunk or sober and how you will feel about afterward, how you feel about your bf, and how he is likely to take whatever decision you make. If you do go, I hope you have a lovely time.

[Richie1976]

Go, I'd never ask my girldfriend not to go. I think it's a good idea to have your own time and space.

[IggyB]

http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Body-and-Soul/Q uestion242934.html

I think this is a difficult one seeing as you cheated on him last time you went on holiday with this mate of yours, so you can see why he is nervous of you going away in the same circumstances again. I think you should compromise and go with your mate and your boyfriend (also one of his friends) and have a good time with them all, it will take time for him to learn to trust you again but as you were in the wrong you should try to help him by offering this compromise deal.

good luck

[lia*]

i think you boyfriend is being sellfish. what's his reason for not wanting you to go? is he insecure about loosing you?

[WendyS]

Guess it depends on how long you've been going out with your boyfriend and how close you are. Also, will taking this holiday use up all your holiday allowance so you and your boyfriend won't have the chance of a break away together? On the other hand, you're not joined at the hip and good friendships should be nurtured. If you can trust yourself to play it straight, go on holiday with your friends. Your boy friend isn't your keeper.

[Dollie]

Dead easy one really glammapus - when I'm in a similar situation and don't know what to do - one easy question to ask yourself - If roles were reversed, how would it make me feel if it were him going away without me for whatever reason ? If you would be fine then go - but if not, don't put him through something you wouldn't want to cope with yourself. Hope this helps. Goold Luck x

[Hermit]

If IggyB's post is right, then I think you've used up your chance and are asking a hell of a lot to go on holiday again. If I was him, it would certainly be giving me the impression that this was not what you saw as a long term relationship.

[Octavius]

Looking at your previous post I guess you have to look at your life and decide what is more imprtant to you, one week of fun with a friend or your current "brill" relationship (which can't be that brill if you do that to him on holiday).

If my gf went on holiday and cheated on me then I certainly would be against her going on the same trip with the same person, and that would really depend on me forgiving her in the 1st place. If she went away again, I doubt I would be there when she got back.

He

[Octavius]

grr..

He might not be entitled to control your life, but he can certainly control his own and clearly feels nervous about you doing it again.

[katcaf1985]

I think you should go glammapuss, everygirl deserves a bit of girlie pampering time, sometimes it helps to get away from each other for a while...they do say absence makes the heart grow fonder x