Your opinions please...

[whiskeysheri]

'Evening, guys! I'm really just looking for your opinions, if you don't mind sharing?

TIA xxx :o)

I have a friend, she's in her mid-forties with her own family. She has recently started seeing a guy with his own grown up family, for about three months or so. He is of a similar age and they have become very close, very soon.

They are very well suited, but something has become a bit of a problem between them. He has a daughter of 24 (with her own daughter of 4), who he spends a lot of time with. She lived with him for a while when he and her mum divorced and they became very close- she moved out when she was 17.

My friend gets on really well with all three of his children, but is beginning to feel uncomfortable about the relationship he has with this particular daughter.

He and his daughter see a lot of each other, almost every day. A lot of the times my friend has been out with him for the day he has often invited his daughter and grand-daughter along too- bearing in mind he and my friend both work full time so don't get a lot of time together anyway.

He and his daughter are very 'touchy-feely' and also wrestle each other(!) ('nipple-cripples' too!). He was in the delivery room when his daughter gave birth and the three of them (him, daughter and grand-daughter) are away together on their third holiday of the year. A holiday he hadn't even arranged until after he told my friend he was in love with her.

My friend feels bad about feeling awkward with it all, but what do you think? Is she right to? What would you do? Other people she knows have also commented on it too.

Thanks again x

[wonderwoman1]

hiya whisks babe...it seems very odd to me. i know my dad would NEVER act that way with me, and we are very close but in the (dare i say it) "normal" sense of the word!

i dont know what i would do in that situation but i think she has to just ask him outright whats going on.

hope everything is ok hun

have a good weekend

luv ya xxx

[-Zorro-]

sounds a bit odd, CB

Im very affectionate with my niece...very cuddly and playful...and would be with a daughter, but shes only 6.

But I think once she started being a "young lady", say 12 or 13, then that would change as she matures.

Fathers tend to dote in their daughters, but it does sound a bit strange at 24

[sandyg2244]

personally, I would find this very odd too.As the saying goes, blood is thicker than water and no matter what she says, it sounds like he might always put his daughter first.That wouldnt be so bad if she wasn't a grown woman.She must bring her concerns into the open before she gets in any deeper.If he wont budge, she should cut her losses and leave them to it.

[yinyang]

I know that when my husbands dad died him and his mum kind of rebuilt their lives around each other and became what others regarded as freakishly close, almost like a married couple (without the physical stuff of course). Maybe that's what happened with this man and the daughter after his divorce. It's a hard cycle to break, my husbands mum became so jealous when I came along that she eventually demanded he choose between us.
Even though he has exluded her from the holiday maybe the man thinks he's doing a good thing by inviting his family on days out. KInd of like saying to her she's accepted as part of this very close group - this is male logic we're talking about remember!
However I do think you're friend needs to have a chat with him and say she would like it if they could spend more time just as a couple. Maybe a weekend away just for the two of them.

[Miss-read]

Sounds a very odd to me to whiskeysheri. Nipple cripples!

Why did he arrange the holiday with daughter and granddaughter without asking your friend (his girlfriend along) Sounds cruel to me, if he told her he loved her, then why then exclude her from the holiday.

The daughter is a grown woman now, so its not like she is some little girl he wants to look after.

[Miss-read]

Just to add, I was in a relationship for nearly 5 years, with a man who was divorced. Had children. Who rarely gave him any attention. But it didnt stop him, having separate holidays with them, and not inviting me.

It was very hurtful to me, as I was with him 90% more of the time than his kids were. But he still chose to have holidays just with them.

Made me feel like a complete outsider. And not important enough to be part of their family unit.

[RATTER15]

That sounds a bit worrying!!

[havinmysay]

well i wud say the nipple thing is definatly wierd my dad would never invade my body like that nor i wud his
other than that i dont think there is anything wrong takin his daughter and granddaughter on hol its obvious they have a close bond

[Carakeel]

I have to honestly say that I too would feel awkward in this situation. I love it when fathers are close to their children but I do find this father's physical relationship with his 24 year old daughter slightly worrying. My partner is absolutely lovely with his grown up daughter, loves her to bits and like any good parent and child they cuddle up on the couch together sometimes. And I think it is lovely that they are so close, but he would never ever even dream of stepping over the line with her. Firstly he is a totally decent man and secondly he would have far too much respect for his daughter and for our relationship to do anything that would upset either of us. So I think your friend really needs to have a serious talk with this man and tell him how she feels preferably before he goes on vacation with his daughter. Her feelings are justified and she needs to clear this situation asap. I wish her good luck!.

[Blyss]

the nipple thing ,, if hes doing it to his daughter then yes ..your mate has to leave this relationship and fast .


it all sounds a bit wrong to me.

[PinkFizz]

Morning Whiskey honey! Yes I think its all a bit over the top.Its didn't sound too bad until you got to the wrestling and the nipple cripples.Don't tell me that he does this to her|?? If he does then she should tell him that it is not right at all.Personally I would get away as quickly as possible.