Knowing ex-husbands address

[zebra]

Is it unreasonable for me to expect my ex husband to inform me of his new address only because he has asked if he can have our daughter on occasional overnight stays.

He has refused (just being his usual awkward self) stating I have his mobile number which is good enough. Bearing in mind if I call when he has my daughter during the day or to try and find out if he is bothering to see her he rarely answers.

I could probably find it out with bits and pieces my daughter tells me but its the principle. The demands and pettiness I have endured since we split up has been endless even four + years on.

I knew his previous address, never went round there or anything so its not like hes worried about me stalking him or anything ( no chance ) !!

[devilwoman]

its a difficult one, he's her dad but you also need to know where your daughter is at all times. is he a good dad? wot i mean is he likely to keep yoir daughter and not return her.
cos it would be a bad thing if he did and you couldnt tell the police where she was missing from. yes he should inform u.

[888sally888]

I think as her main carer you shoudl know where your daughter is.

Tell him he can be as pathetic as he wants in the rest of his sad life but not where your daughter is concerned!

[cliffsweb]

yes you should know

[counsellor]

You should definately know.... she's your daughter and you should always know where she is.... jeeze men are pathetic sometimes!

[asand]

You certainly do need to know where your daughter is, even if it is with her father, I dont condon using children after a split, but I would take legal advise regarding his access if he is been that unreasonable. Surely as a parent himself he should understand you wanting to know your daughters whereabouts.

[chitchat]

Zebra I went through exactly the same thing with my ex. He was fine until he met someone else then when they bought a house together he would not give me a landline contact. He said he mobile was enough. Yeah right - he never answered it when I rang or there was no signal. So I wouldnt let him have the children without it. It think it is unreasonable for him to have the children and me not be able to contact them in an emergency.

I gave in after several months as the kids were missing him - but the stupid thing is his number was in the phone book anyway. So I have the number - only he doesnt know it.

I cant believe he can have your daughter and you not know where she is. What is up with these men? He knows where your daughter is when she is with you.

I am too stubborn to give in to his petty ways (yes he is the same as yours). I would stand your ground - not a decent person in the country would agree with him.

Hope you get it sorted and try not stress too much about it - he isnt worth it. He certainly is not putting your daughter first and is only interested in scoring points against you - what a pr@tt! Good luck hun x

[thingummyjig]

i agree with all of the above posts. I, too, was in the same situation, and told my soon to be ex-husband our daughter couldnt possibly stay with him until he gave his adddress. When he did come up with the address and postcode I checked it out on the Royal Mail website, so I could be sure it wasn't another of his games. It wasnt until my daughter came back after a weekend with him that I realised he'd given me the address of one of his work colleagues. You have my sympathy in this matter, take consolation, zebra, you are not the only lady with a pr'ck of an ex! Stick to your guns, Lady!

[Beanmistriss]

My boyfriends ex would not give him her new landline number so he could ring the kids and wouldn't answer her mobile when he rang it. The kids were not allowed to ring him from her phone as she didn't want to see his number on her bill. Luckily they were both old enough to have a mobile so he just had to make sure the poor lil things had enough credit to be able to ring him. Also she hadnt moved house so he knew where she lived. If something had happened to one of the kids when they were with us we would have had to drive all the way to her house to let her know. People are mental. You should definatly know where she is staying, what if something happens to her and you have to get there?

[divegirl]

Hi, your ex is obviously on a time-share with my ex's brain cell!!! Yes you should have his address. Yes he should answer his mobile. My ex will not do either.... so as petty as it is I do what I know will really p*ss him off.... I phone his beloved mother and ask her to make contact :o]
There are ways to find out where he lives, usually sneakily, I got his when his 'new daughter' put their address on a sponsorship form for my daughter. When I asked for his new address once again he said no....to which I replied 'that's Ok, why would I need to know you live at 39 blah blah blah....' lol....what's he going to do? Move?
Good luck hun and remember, you've always got the AB mummies here to help you XxX

Lisa x

[MORELLO]

Of course you should know. As her mum you have the right to know where she is at all times.
We recently had this with my stepsons dad who moved house, and even though he's an awkward bas#@rd at times, even he recognised this.

Don't be fobbed off. It's address, or no see...

[chitchat]

I wonder if these brain dead men have any idea what effect these pathetic games are having on their children. And more to the point do they care? If it means getting one over their ex then obviously not. It make you wonder what we saw in these pr@tts in the first place.!

My ex's favourite saying is what goes around comes around - and for him it certainly did. We moved half way round the world and it doesnt matter any more.

I hope all of yours get theirs too one day.

[zebra]

Thanks so much everyone, each one of your replies had my train of thought, just wanted to make sure I wasn't the bitter and twisted ex I'm made out to be, even though I have to occasionally remind him that it was me that walked. I will stick to my guns on this one.

I don't have concerns to her care when my daughter is with him, or I would definitely refuse access and she is happy to spend time with her dad but you have all confirmed my decision. Thanks again x