Advise seeked !!!!

[hugginsc]

I want my girlfriend to come with me to a Strip / Lap dance club. However, she is rather hesitant of the idea.

I see it as something I would like to experience with her, while she sees it as "why do you need to go to a strip club, you have me", i.e. why do I see the need to go to a strip club when your in a loving relationship, what the need.

I want to go and it is something I want to experience with my girlfriend. We've watched porn together and there was no problem, so what is the difference and the problem?

She believes, why should I go there and get off by the sight of other women, she just doesn't understand why I want to go.

The thing is I have no need to go, its just something I would like to experience with her. I believe, I am alot more open minded about different things.

This is not something which I am forcing upon my girlfriend nor is it something she has flat out said NO to.

I can admit that it is a fantasy of mine.

Has anyone been in this position, are in this position, have an opinion on the matter,all info. / advise would be helpful.

Cheers

[dot.hawkes]

In my opinion you are soon to be her ex-boyfriend.

[jno]

the difference with porn is that you're watching real people, so to speak. Perhaps she feels inadequate compared with the sort of boob-jobbed women she expects to see in a club; perhaps she's just uncomfortable with you licking your lips over other females. Whatever, this sounds like something you'd be better off doing with your mates or alone. Strip clubs aren't really meant for women.

[cascarelli]

Would you go to a male strip club with her and have men lap dancing (or whatever they do) for you if she asked?

[nat_84]

I wouldn't fancy going to a strip club with my boyfriend!

Watching some hussy rub it all up in his face right in front of me...!! No Chance!

I think its very unrealistic to expect your girlfriend to go with you.

[PinkFizz]

I have to agree with the others,no matter how attractive my guy thinks I am (or not - lol) I would feel very awkward watching him drooling over near naked babes right in front of me.

[-Zorro-]

She should go along with you....it will be half way to convincing her to hav a 3some with you and her goodlooking best mate

[marley2000]

if you dont HAVE to go then you shouldn't go on about it if it makes her uncomfortable. there are aspects of men that women will never understand and vice versa. but i strangely respect the fact that you invited her to see for herself rather than seeking around behind her back. dont go on about it though!

[MORELLO]

Be content with the fact she lets YOU go. More freedom than the majority of us get...

[lb24]

I would not go to a strip club with my boyfriend, nor would i let him go on his own. I do, however, think that it is good that you've at least asked if she wants to go and have not gone there behind her back. However, consider that she may well dump you if you go there with or without her and decide what's more important to you...your girlfriend or going to the strip club. Not all relationships last so why not wait til you're single one day.

[Athley]

Just imagine how you would feel if a male lap dancer plopped his danglies on you if you went to a male club!! And how would you feel if he rubbed up your girlfriend!!

Watching porn at home together is OK for you as you are not feeling threatened by real people and can switch off and watch Coronation Street and have a cup of tea in the middle if you want to!!!

Don't make your girlfriend feel bad if she doesn't want to go. Keep it for you and a lads night out if you need to go.

[Surreygirl30]

How romantic are you (NOT). i have no problems with any boyfriend of mine going to a strip cub. However, if he expected me to go then he would get some choice words from me lol.

In fact, i think i would probably dump him and find a nice romantic guy with a bit of respect :-)

The things i read on this site amazes me sometimes.

[Miss Inquiry]

I've happily been to strip clubs with male friends, and with my female friends. However if you asked me to go with my bf, i'd feel really really awkward, as Nat/PinkfFzz have said. He can happily go alone, or with the lads. To be honest I doubt he would want me there, we have a fantastic relationship and we trust eachother 100%, but if I was there he too would feel awkward, and we would both spend the evening no doubt lookin at the floor to avoid eye contact with each other or any girls there.
Could you not go and see Dita Von Teese together? That might be less threatening, or book a weekend break to Amsterdam together and go and see a sex show.

[noxlumos]

When I just asked my amazingly free thinking, liberated wife she said she'd personally rather not go with me as there was nothing there that would interest her. She did however say she would happily go if it was a specific sexual fantasy of mine, as then she could see the point then because it'd enhance OUR relationship, but she thought most people would feel it was a terrible idea, so I'd tread carefully if I were you.

[Ethel]

Interesting answers!

lb24 - you should not stop your boyfriend doing anything he wants to. You don't own him. If he wants to do things you are not happy with, he is not the right man for you.


hugginsc - I could imagine nothing worse that going to a strip club /lap dancing club with my partner. I would not go.

[Champagne]

I've been to a strip club with an ex-boyfriend. It was good fun but it was Stringfellows so the girls looked like barbie dolls. I couldn't possibly compete with that image and although I looked nice, I felt very plain in comparison. Thankfully the man I was with was so enamoured with me that he barely looked at the other girls so it really put me at ease and I was able to enjoy it. I also didn't realise that I got a free lapdance because it was my first time there. I didn't know where to look and cringed all the way through it.

I have no qualms about strip clubs and it doesn't bother me if my boyfriend goes to one. I know he's been to them before meeting me. BUT if I went with him and he sat ogling all the gorgeous girls I would be seething.

You have to remember that women tend to be a lot more image conscious than men and we have it rubbed in our face all the time with fashion magazines, skinny celebs, and even porn! So in this sort of situation your girlfriend would need reassurance that she was more beautiful than any other woman in the world. Until you can convince her of that she probably won't go to the strip club.

[Goodsoulette]

I find it all really cingey.

I used to work on the opening team for the company that runs for your eyes only, except not that part of it. I was however sent to the one in Bournemouth to hold it for a week. I didnt like it, I could not see the point in it. The girls didnt look that great in all honesty and I felt sorry for the women who were out with their partner, they all looked like doormats that didnt really want to be there.

Are you sure theiur is no problem with the porn, I have a friend who watches it with her boyfriend cause she doesnt like to think of him watching it on his own without her. She sort of competes with it but has never said anything to him. Maybe you need to think about doing some things she is really into before you push for this.

[lb24]

Ethel - it's not like how i wrote it. He wouldn't go, he's not that kinda guy. He thinks strip clubs are sleazy. I couldn't go out with a guy that went to strip clubs (no offence guys!)