Maintenance money

[charlie2007]

my daughter had a baby 6 weeks ago the father has not payed a penny towards the baby, does she have to go down the csa route or is there another way she can make this rat pay, she has now told him he cannot see the baby

[bednobs]

why should he pay if he is not getting anything in return (ie access to his daughter)?
I can see where she is coming from but i think it's a mistake and very manipulative to use the baby as a bargaining chip, and it certainly dosent set things on the right foot for any hope of an amicable arrangement regarding money. Ok the father might be rubbish, but he is the baby's father and your daughter did chose him to father the child. If the father wont pay, can you approach his parents (i am presuming they are young?) I'm afraid, flawed though it is, the csa is all we have at the moment

[Beanmistriss]

Thats what the csa are for, give them a try, but if hes not cooperative don't hold your breath. We've been waiting over a year and a half. As much as its disgraceful he's not paying anything its disgraceful for your daughter to use their child in this way. She can't use access to control him. The poor wee thing will grow up seriously messed up if she continues to use it like that and will grow up to resent it's mother in the long run. As bednobs said, she chose to have a baby with him.

[kempie]

Bear in mind that the CSA was such a resounding success that it is to be replaced by the Child Maintenance and Enforcement Commission.

Meanwhile a list of options is available here...

http://www.csa.gov.uk/new/options/

[Pippa68]

Parents who refuse contact because of money make my blood boil.

There are still many 'absent parents' out there who pay through the nose and still don't have contact with their children...through no fault of their own.

[Aprilis]

I sympathise with your daughter but she needs to understand that she is not only keeping the father from seeing the baby, she is keeping the child from it's father. This may not seem a big deal right now but it will be when the little one is older. She may also end up being deprived of a set of grandparents. Why should the child be left with no contact with the other side of her family through no fault of his/her own? The child's welfare involves more than money. Your daughter's opinion of the baby's dad should not be allowed to prevent the child from knowing him.

Even if I grew to despise my partner I would never do anything to jeopardise my daughter's relationship with him unless her welfare was at risk.

Apart from that, if she stops him seeing the baby she is giving him license to use that as justification for not paying anything. I'm not saying he shouldn't still contribute to his baby's upbringing, he should, but if she allows him access and allows him and the baby to bond perhaps it might kickstart his conscience. I doubt that would happen overnight though and not knowing all the circumstances I might be being optimistic.

Perhaps your daughter should try inviting the other grandparents over to see the baby. If they are decent people they would be likely of their own accord to put pressure on their son to support the child surely? I am sure that having them on side will be beneficial to the baby in the long run anyhow.

[justjuice]

I admit I don't agree with your daughter with-holding access of her new baby from it's dad. I also admit that I don't think he's much of a man and certainly not a decent father! Insome ways your daughter would be better off going it alone and not asking for anything!! If she is claiming benefit she will have choice about going through the CS, but once that is done - if she and the father can come to terms with their life the way it's going to be they can make a personal agreement that cuts out the CSA. Your daughter can also go to court - but that could be traumatic and expensive.

[Neilzulu1]

Get some of her uncles to pay him a visit and he will soon cough up !!