access to child

[xJx]

my boyfriend is so down tonight. he has a 1 year old baby girl from a past relationship and currently has access to her twice a week (2 hours on weds and 4 on sunday). he also pays weekly child support. he would do anything for his baby and just wants to be there for her and be part of her life as much as he can. the ex is very awkward and always wanting her own way. this weekend she has asked to have her on sunday because of mothers day and my bf to have the baby on saturday instead which he agreed too. he asked if he can have her for 2 hours longer because he wants to take her out for the day. his ex started arguing and refusing saying that unless he pays more he cant see anymore of the child than what he already does. he is so upset and knows that court action is probably the best option now. does he have any rights that may help him with this situation? anyone else been in the same situation before? thanks for your help x

[rockyracoon]

My brother had all this with his ex. It was very traumatic at first but once the courts got invovled things seemed to calm down. It is grossly unfair that he has to pay for the time spent with his daughter and the courts will see through this. As horrible as it is , it is the only option as his ex's behaviour will get worse and worse if she is allowed to get away with it..
God luck and I hope all works out

[Annlinda]

In family court the welfare of the child is paramount the opinion being that a child has the right to know its absent parent. Your boyfriend sounds as if he is being very caring and responsible towards this baby and his ex is just using the child to get at him. All to common these days.
My advice would be to get access on a formal legal footing now before the ex stops access. Maintenance bears no relevance to whether a parent can or cannot see a child. A mistake many "mothers" make when trying to stop an absent father seeing their child. The wheels of the court go slow and before he knows it several weeks could pass before he sees the baby if she stops access. Once on legal footing if she stops him seeing child she could ultimately face custody.A long drawn out process I know but it could happen.
Good luck. Don't dispare hopefully everything will work out OK

[Pippa68]

I agree with the others.

Mr Pippa went through all this with his ex too. He went to court after social services interviews and meetings, and the court decision went in his favour...overnight contact every other weekend plus holidays.

Your partner needs to write down what contact he would like to have, and an amicable decision should be sought. There is no reason whatsoever for his ex to deny contact, and as has already been said maintenance is nothing to do with contact.

The judge will look favourably on *absent parents* (I hate that term!) who do maintain their children financially, but they usually detest resident parents who use their children as bargaining tools.

I am sure your partner will be fine ~ however if contact is stopped during court proceedings (as often happens) make sure he documents this, keeps any evidence of phone conversations, letters etc and most importantly keeps the lines of communication open ~ he needs to prove that he has tried to keep contact with his child going despite his ex's behaviour.

Good luck, and please let us know how he gets on x

[Beanmistriss]

Agree with everyone above. Just wanted to add to make sure the money he pays her is through a bank account or cheque so he can prove if needs be how much he gives her and that it is regularly. Don't give her cash. Good luck x