school sets problem

[tinkle-berry]

My daughter is at the end of year eight, and they have just been told what sets they are going to be in for year 9. In four of her subjects she has been put in set 4. (Set 1 being the highest and set 5 the lowest) She is devastated and we had floods of tears yesterday. The thing is she has had glowing reports, and well above average grades all year with her teachers telling her she is on course for set 2 or 3. Naturally with this and all the revision she put in she is confused and upset. I spoke to her head of year and he said sets are decided on end of term exams only, and she is competing against all the other kids in her year. She tells me she got 50+% fpr history and 60+% for geography and hasn't been told marks for the other subjects. If she was happy to be in set 4 for these subjects then I'd leave it. But as she is so upset, saying she must be thick if the school thinks she's thick and whats the point in trying so hard. Her confidence is shattered. She says her girlfriends are boasting they didn,t do any revision and are in higher sets, and calling her stupid. I feel a bit intimidated by her teachers, who from yesterdays meeting made it pretty clear they are not going to budge on their decision. What am I going to do with distraught daughter who is theatening not to attend school next term?

[Silversky]

I had a similar problem. But you cannot really do anything about it. It is general rules of schooling. If it is based on end of term examinations only then it seems that is what goes. You have to tell her that she is bright and clever, and if she wants to go up in the classes then she must work hard, revise and get noticed (for good work.)
I was in set two for science, even though my results and reports said I was quite capable for set one.
But when I went into the classes, they did prove very difficult. If the school truly believes that she does deserve to go up then she will.

[Dusty Bin]

You need to liaise with someone responsible at the school, probably her year head would be my best bet.

Get them on your side and they'll help you. You want your daughter to do well, the school wants her to do well; the ball now lies in your daughter's court!

Good luck!

[cameo]

Tell your daughter not to worry and that she's not on her own in feeling like this.
In my experience the sets that students get placed in are a guide as to their ability. At the beginning of a school year children often get moved from one set to another in the first few weeks.
Tell your daughter that you know she worked hard last year and so does she. The best thing for her to do is to carry on with the hard work and to get the most out of the lesson.
My daughter, at the age of 14 was placed in the top maths set. however she did not get on with her teacher at all and so didn't really try her best. because of this, after about 8 months, she was put into set 2. She is now doing really well and finds that she is learning so much more with her new teacher, just because of the way he teaches.
The only other thing i would say is to keep a close eye on it and that if she finds the work too easy and starts to become complacent you will need to speak to her teacher again.

I have to say that her friends attitudes have not helped!!
Good luck x

[tinkle-berry]

thanks everyone for your advice and iwil think about what youv'e all said.
thanks again

[isis4691]

I had a similar problem when my son reached year 8 and although he had dyslexia and really couldn't cope with french, they insisted that he had to stay in level 2 and he begged me to make the school put him lower as he really was not understanding the class. After telling me he would be fine and not changing their mind, in year 10 they told me he was being put in al ower group because he was finding the work too difficult!! He was also put in lower groups for other sujects that he felt he was good at and once again we weern't listened to. After all of this the results of his GCSE's were good (mostly b grades) except for french h' he got a d!

[aims1202]

Its probably not a good idea to try to change the teachers minds anyway, i think its best for kids to learn that things will happen in life that we dont like but we can make the best of it. If they are wrong about it they will realise very quickly and will change her then. I would just keep telling her how clever she is and try and boost her confidence. Tell her that if she goes into those sets it might be easy for her and then she will be the top of her set. Its best to be at the top of the set than the bottom of a higher one! She has to rise above what other kids are saying, if they are saying things like that they are not friends worth having. I was put in low sets for most subjects, I dont remember minding, i just wanted to be with my mates! I still got really good GCSE's. Tell her if she works really hard the chances are she will be able to move up or if not just prove to them that she is clever by doing well. But if she doesnt go she'll never be able to do this. Good luck.

[EngTeach]

As a teacher, I find that sometimes class marks do not always match a child's ability. How does this happen? When one takes into account participation, completion of work as well as the accuracy, the class grade can become inflated. Also if students re-do work to raise grades (which is great) it can give a false sense of accomplishment, as end term exams do not allow for repeated submission of work.

I am in the US, but imagine to some degree things are alike. I agree that maybe she will be moved early on next term, or that she will succeed in a lower group and hopefully that will help her esteem.

I would call the nasty friends' parents and ask them to discreetly talk to their children about how their friend must be feeling and how would they feel if they were in her shoes. Of course this only will work if they don't say',"so and so's mum called...."

Good Luck and as I tell the parents of my teenage students, "This too shall pass."

[Ams6784]

hi here tell yr daughter not worry i was told the same thing and i was in the same sets (4) i was told by my teachers that i was thick and would never achieve to anything but i can assure you they were wrong just like yr daughter will prove them wrong, i passed al my gcses with flying coulours and now have just passed my nvqs at college im now trained as a nail technican and ive just passed my driving test too in the same month as wel as being a full time mum, as long as yr daughter sticks in at school she will be fine show her this message and tell her that i was just like her but her teachers only say what they think its up to her to prove them all wrong like i did, and im sure she wil do just that!!! best iof luck darling you prove them al wrong go girl!!! Amy xxxx

[tinkle-berry]

thank you every one we have now got her moved up into set 3!!!!

she is delighted!

thankyou every one again