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reception | 11:42 Wed 17th Oct 2007 | Family & Relationships
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My husbend does not pay a penny towards the house which is costing me 850 pounds a month to run. I work 60 hours a week to keep this up - I can't divorce him or leave him I loose out what can I do to get some help from him he earns 650 pound s a week working for royal mail - 24 hour shift.
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why would you lose out if you left or divorced him?
60 hours a week and still going to college? crikey you are busy
Question Author
your so funny!!! i am useing a computer that belongs to my girl. any objections????/ or dont youwant to talk.
do you want to answer the Q? why will you lose out?

If he pays nothing into the household then what would it matter if he wasnt there?

Why isn't he paying anything towards the house...what is he spending his money on?
Question Author
I dont know what his spending his money on we dont talk and havent talked for 15 years or so. I loose out becasue i have looked after the house I done want to give him any of it . but he will get half his name is on the deeds
I would see a solicitor and get some advice. Do you have children living at home? I would not live with anyone who would not pay their way and does not speak to you....he is just sponging off you....get rid!!
I cant imagine what could make you live with a man who doesnt talk to you or contribute a thing for 15 years. Can understand why you dont want him to have any of it if hes never paid. But surely if youve managed paying it for so long you can prove that, kick him out and continue paying as you are.

Having dependant children at home will be beneficial but you need to seek legal advice.

i assume you buy all the food? so dont buy him any and just eat from day to day so he cant have any of yours, just get rid. �650 A WEEK AND THE POSTPEOPLE ARE STRIKING FOR MORE???????
Dont want to sound too hard because you sound like your having a tough time.but I have to say this "get some back bone woman" Pack his bags TODAY. Get rid. Im sure your family will stick by you because if they have lived with an atmosphere for years its time to put a stop to it.Your not being fair to your daughter asking her to live like that.Time to think about her
Question Author
your right i do think about her. thats why I am going to sell the house what ever happens I;ll be hapier on my own somewhere else. thank you
Go for it girl. I wish you luck x
why has it taken you 15 years to realise that something needs to be done? why are you even married??
�650 wk off Royal Mail? My bro's one of the managers at Royal mail west mids and he dosnt earn this amount after a 6 day week!!! Ive checked this out and he's either lyin to you about his earnins or hes on the fiddle. As for bein in a relationship for 15yrs with no physical/mental/emotional /stimulation etc etc, then im sorry to say you need to get a life girl. Get RID of the low life ******.
Question Author
well he does 70 hours a week he works all the over time he gets - 14 hour shift!! I am sorry to say yes there is something very odd about this. and yes your right some one is fiddleing somewhere. I dont know who and I dont know how he does so many hours over time.

but yes your right once I am sorted with the family problems I will sell the house and get out of his life for good. I am worth much more then that, thank you for talking to me you have been great help
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my answer to hotpink: marriage arranged: could not get out of it. kids to bring up: pressure from culture: no courage either: I was a coward : could not take further steps to save my self.
Have you opted out of the 6 consecutive working day law then?
Dot: This sounds like such a miserable existence. I agree with Gina. First, stop feeding him. But before you begin this Ghandi-ish resistance, contact Relate and arrange for an appointment. If he refuses to go, so be it, you go alone. I feel you need to be able to talk about this. And I would suggest, there IS a life outside of a happy home. Gather around friends, find activities. It sounds as if you need a break from lots of things.

Be well

Fr Bill
Question Author
yes I do need a break from lot of things your right. thnx for your honesty.
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