Hatred again Gay people..

[muchlovex]

My brother is due to marry later this year. His fiance asked my sister about 6 months ago if she can be their brides maid, to which my sister has agreed. My brothers fiance did not even ask me if I wanted to be their brides maid and when I asked her who she had chosen to be her brides maids she just said her friends were chosen (she didn't know that my sister had informed me that she had asked her to be her bridesmaid).

I think it is terrible to not include or even ask me to be a bridesmaid. I am feeling so hurt. Mum passed away in June '08, and I met her parents. Her father was so cold with me and limply shook my hand. They invited my father and sister to a barbecue but did not include me and my partner.

I have just spoken to my father on the phone and I said that it is terrible that I wasn't even asked about being a bridesmaid. My father said that my brother's fiance's parents HATE gay people.

I feel so hurt that this is the reason why she did not ask me and soo hurt that her parents can feel that way against people like me. I won't whether my father should have actually told me this, as it's made me feel nothing but anger towards my brother and his fiance.

I always believe that people should have their own opinions, but I can say that this has definately hurt me deep down.

[muchlovex]

Thank you warpig for your kind help.

x

[toby99]

Thanks, I was a bit hesitant to post my question. I only asked because unfortunately a few couples do feel the need to flaunt to such a degree that it can instill prejudice and when I say flaunt I really do mean that they go out of the way to shock and offend. I have been on the receiving end of such a deliberate exhibition, one which was in a confined space in front of our 7 yr old. It is a shame; I know that perhaps society maybe to blame for this behavior, and that heterosexuals do not necessarily feel the need, but it only does more damage to influence discrimination and the suffering that you and your partner are now experiencing.

Your brother is probably burying his head as It is usually the girl�s parents who dominate and take over wedding arrangements, but he may be wanting to raise the subject with you and doesn�t know how to. After all, blood is thicker than water and I am sure he is stuck in the middle somewhat afraid to speak out. I am also sure he wouldn't want to cause you pain Try speaking to him. I am sorry too for the sad loss of your mother and hope things are getting easier for you.

[muchlovex]

Thank you Toby99 for your answer.

The pain of losing mum is easing, but I miss her so much. Even more now in situation like this.

My brother agrees with her family. He has never really been a nice brother to me.

[toby99]

If your brother has never been nice too you and is of the same opinion as them, then I am afraid that would probably not bother going to the wedding or indeed sending best wishes. Families should stick together regardless of the circumstances and especially after losing your mum such a short time ago. Is your dad supportive?

[theonlyone]

I have a brother whom I dislike , he was horrible to me when I was a child , a bully and control freak . Different situations but when my bro dies I for one will not be at the funeral ..you have to live your life and be happy ...life is too short , also no one has the right to decide how you live your life .....

[muchlovex]

I need to question my dad further as I never got the chance to ask him what is reaction was when she told him of this.

[theonlyone]

Don't really know how you can hate gay people ?Our best buddies are a married couple , male , they had a lot of probs ,with family etc .. now sorted .. you can't change peoples thoughts ..if that's what your bro wants on his wedding day , good luck to him as he will be under the thumb for ever... as he is now marrying the whole family ..

[tigwig]

Hi muchlovex I guess my advice would be to discuss this again in a calm way with your brother and if you have no joy then you can either go to the wedding head held high with your partner or don't go at all. The choice really has to be yours. Just wanted to say too it is nice to hear from you (apart from your problem of course) I have often wondered how you are doing because my mum in law passed away almost at the same time as your mum in June last year of cancer too so I know what you are going through. I hope you sort this out and try not to be too stressed I know that life is difficult enough. Don't feel you have to 'hide' your partner either. If people don't like it it is their problem not yours

[Dee Sa]

perhaps your family thoguht you would not be comfortable dressed as a bridesmaid, do you normally wear masculine clothes ? of others have recieved their invites and not you, I should imagine that the girl's family are having problems with you attending with your partner, some families just cannot accept the path you have chosen , but if you are happy why let them bother you ? rise above it all, I agree with the person wo said go away by yourselves and have a lovely weekend away rather than cause yourselves grief by this narrow minded lot.Recently I have been to a gay wedding [lesbian] and they came down the aisle as two brides, it was tastefully done and a very classy do in fact the best wedding I have ever been to and all their guests, including mum & dad on one side and sister & family from
Oz on the other side and we were all very happy for them, let me add I am 70 yrs young, so not all older folk are bigots.