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boyfriend dilemm\am so stressed

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SizzleSquid | 21:37 Sat 15th Mar 2008 | Body & Soul
18 Answers
My boyfriend and i have been together for 6 months and lately he has been stressing me out completely, but naively iv stayed with him becuase he has shown me love and affections and says he loves me, and i feel bad.I do love him but every single time we make plans to gou out they end up completely ruined because of him, either he is late, or something goes wrong.

I screamed at him today because we made plans to go out with a mate and he has managed to screw that up by arriving late and not finding anything to wear, although he refuses to allow me to go clubbing on my own. I am also banned from certain shopping centres as he hates other men looking at me, and gets really upset, punching walls and stuff in front of me.
ive started to shake now as he stressed me out so much when i screamed at him.
Shall i let him go, though he loves me, or shall i stay and have someone who loves me but remain unfuffilled? His mum wont even let me in his house because she wants him out and is using me as a punishment for him as he wont leave, and he always ends up coming to my house (i live with my family and its not fair on them to always have him round) what shall i do pleaase. so upset n stressed.
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Get rid asap, while you still have the confidence to do it, he will totally control you and his violence will get worse, dont stay with someone like that, he has a lot of issues and something is not right with him, even his own mother knows he is in the wrong, take a tip out of her book and run.
Get rid, violence either physical or verbal is unacceptable. This will only get worse...been there, done that had the broken arm.
Dump him...but do it safely
2 b honest as a bloke u shud get out. theres loadsa blokes out there lookin for a nice lass n u shudnt have to settle 4 this man.
why are you even asking the question ?
you know what the answer is, its a pity we all carry on with things we know are wrong, or with people who are a waste of space, but i'm sure we've all done it. longer it goes on , harder it is to get out.
what you should look at is, if his own mum does'nt want him, she knows him better than anyone, do you deserve to be the one looking after this loser.
get your glad rags on, a bit of lippy, and hit the town with your mates. put him behind you, we all need to kiss a couple of frogs.
get out now, its only going to get worse, cant go to certain shopping malls, whatever next. soon you wont be able to go out period.
As my old gran used to say whenever I broke up with a boyfriend -----stand at the bus stop there will be another one along in a minute ------.
enjoy your new found freedom and then later look for a new guy without these hang ups. good luck..
You've answered your own question ''shall I stay and remain unfullfilled''....

I've been in a situation like that - it only gets worse. I would never recommend and would get rid asap. Good luck.
Never let a guy make you feel like this. It won't get any better you should get out of the relationship just now and maybe you can remain friends. Good luck : )
Oh Dear Sizzlesquid,
I fully understand where you are coming from, not an easy situation to be in, when you love someone no matter what they do you think it will get better. It wont. It has taken me almost a year (and Ive been lucky!) to leave and now I have, its the hardest thing ever and it tears you to pieces, but you have to leave him, i doubt he does love you, but he has deep rooted issues that only he can help himself, please take the courage and leave - before you end up in the nearest casualty dept. My ex slapped, punched, stabbed me, threw drinks at me, confiscated my mobile phone, controlled everything i did, what i wore, hated me going clubbing, hated men looking at me, isolated me from my friends by turning them against me, he was very clever but very dangerous. In the end i just felt sorry for him, and pity is no basis to stay with someone.
Take care,
My thoughts are with you
RQ xx
Get out of this relationship, is my advice. He is obviously insecure and extremely controlling. A man cannot control you if you refuse to obey his rules. By conforming to what he tells you, you are showing you are submissive and he is in control.

You have to wonder why his mother wants him out, how does he behave towards her. It all sounds very messed up and if you don't want further grief and misery cut him loose and set yourself free. There are thousands of men out there who will treat you as an equal.
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sizzle, get out of it now, at the monet he is punching the walls in frustration etc, how long do you think it will be before you become the wall? he has got serious problems, and while you keep putting up with all the crap he is throwing at you, you will never be happy,it will make you ill in the end, life is to enjoy not be permamently on edge, get rid now he is just a meathead!!
I think you know (as everyone has said above) that you need to get out this relationship. Are you worried you won't fine someone else? Is that why you are staying with him?

If you can't face ending it at the moment, then the one thing you should not do is move in with him (or let him move in with you). Stay at your parents where you have (i presume) security and support. You will find it 100 times harder to end this if you are living together.
Get rid of him. He is bad news for you. You will be very sorry in the long run if you stay with this guy. Move on.
Get rid now before you go on to move in with him or worse still marry him. He is only going to get worse. A man that won't even let you go shopping in case someone might fancy you is crazy in the head. He can snap and kill you. It won't be easy to get rid of someone like this but try your best to end it now please.
yet another 'get rid' from wee me

youre banned from certain places??? thats not normal

who is the boss of you??? YOU !!!
Made up your mind yet Sizzle?
same advice from me sizzlesquid, you need to get shut of him, sooner the better, sorry :-(
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guys i cannot say how much your replies have meant to me, i am tearful at the meaningful responses you have all given me, and RoughQuest i am so sorry at what happened to you. I will leave this guy, but will have to take my time an do it bit by bit as if i do it straight away he will come looking. Thankyou all xx

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