Marraige in Church if not Christened

[douggym]

I am told that if the Bride or the Groom or both parties have not been Christened, then they cannot marry in a Church of England church although they had been brought up as Christians. Can you tell me if this is so and what are the rules?

[whitehill]

Well, I was always told this as well but when we got married I don't remember being asked about this - and in fact I know I was christened but I have nothing to prove it, no certificate or anything. So the vicar would have had to take my word for it because I couldn't have proved it and he couldn't have proved I hadn't!

[Velvetee]

I've heard that too Douggym. If you lie about being christened, how can the vicar ever find out? Does the church have a database of all those who have been christened?

[Tichfield]

If it is a requirement then get christened. There is no age limit on that.

[natalie_1982]

I think it depends what kind of Church it is - methodist, baptist, etc. I got married in a methodist Church, and had been Christened there 23years before, but I was never asked about it anyway. My husband has not been Christened and the point was never raised.

However, a few years ago a family friend got married and he had to be Christened as an adult (early 40s) in order that he could marry in a Church, although I don't know what kind of Church it was or if rules have changed since then (this was about ten years ago). I would suggest that you decide which Church you would like to use and then be honest with the minister about your concerns, if you need to be Christened then it is a very simple process that can be done during a usual Sunday service so not a big problem.

[Ethel]

Third question down - it tells you there is no need for either partner to be Christened to be married in the CofE:

http://www.cofe.anglican.org/lifeevents/weddin gs/#notbaptised

Although why you wouldn't want to be Christened but want to get married in the Church is a mystery to me.

[andrea81]

I must have had a 'to the book' lady vicar as Me and hubby had to give a date and place of christening. Luckely I was christened at the church I was married, but my hubby couldn't remember, so he gave where he thought it was! she never questioned it, but I could tell she was a bit off about him not being able to give the details.

I suppose it depend on the vicar, but to be honest, I can't see any of them sending you away as it is revanue for them!

[douggym]

Thank you for your responses. The reason I ask is that my partners brother has always been against deciding for the children what they should believe and was against Christenings just to prove belief in Christianity etc.
Both his children have now been Christened and when I asked my partner about the change of plan she replied that it was so they could get married in church if they so chose as that was a major obstacle if they were not Christened.

[caggy]

i know in church of ireland both spouses need to be baptised before they can marry in church. its something to do will being a member of the family of god and then coming together as a couple within that family. found this out when i was getting married and there were doubt to wether hubby had been baptised.

[Dee Sa]

my son got married in a church, I never ever told him that he had not been christened and he never asked me.

[gallapunk]

When I got married the vicar wanted to know that we had both been baptised and confirmed. He wouldn't perform the marriage ceremony for my friend (who had been neither) until she did both in her 30s. She said she felt like a right donk and was a bit angry with her parents for not having her done when she was little, but Ithink having children baptised (and more so, confirmed) is the exception rather than the rule these days, or it is where I live anyway.

There are so many lovely places you can get married now that people maybe aren't so fussed about getting married in a church anyway. Then again, if it fades out significantly, maybe in another generation it will become something 'special' again and people will want a big church wedding to be different.

I think if you haven't been done and you get married in church, then it means you're not married in the eyes of God, but you're still married legally anyway. Depends how important it is to you.

[sheila17456]

i'm cathlolic but my husband is not but he still needed his christening certificate for us to marry in the catholic church