Sunday Express Skeleton 22Nd December...
Crosswords3 mins ago
Can Ex take Daughter to live abroad?
28 Answers
Hi all,
I'll cut a very long complicated story short.....
My Brother has a 3 year old Daughter by a one night stand & as awful as this sounds doesn't want contact. His ex (who is a complete nutcase, we've known her since she was a small child so this isn't a rash judgement) said she was going to have a termination but didn't so it was a child he never really wanted as he was only in his late teens at the time. He pays (& always has paid) maintainence through the CSA & had a DNA test done through them when she was born but isn't on the birth certificate.
His Ex is with a new partner & almost 2 years ago asked my Brother if the new man could adopt his Daughter. My brother agreed to this as although he doesn't want contact with his child he does want what is best for her & her to be happy. The problem is she keeps putting it on hold & it's unsettling for everyone not knowing what is happening. She is VERY money orientated & only ever discusses money when she contacts my Brother (Via me) she never discusses his Daughter just what money she should get etc etc. She also tried to blackmail my Brother at which point we involved the Police & Social Services.
Anyway my question is this......
His Ex has decided she wants to move to OZ with my Brothers Daughter & her partner, can she do this without my Brothers permission if her partner hasn't adopted the little girl?
My Brother just wants everything sorting out, the adoption to go through & for everyone to get on with their own lives but while ever he is still the legal Father his life is being made hell by the Ex. Can he stop her until she sorts out the adoption?
Sorry it's rather long & random but this really is a very short version of a very difficult situation.
Thanks
Doc2410
xxx
I'll cut a very long complicated story short.....
My Brother has a 3 year old Daughter by a one night stand & as awful as this sounds doesn't want contact. His ex (who is a complete nutcase, we've known her since she was a small child so this isn't a rash judgement) said she was going to have a termination but didn't so it was a child he never really wanted as he was only in his late teens at the time. He pays (& always has paid) maintainence through the CSA & had a DNA test done through them when she was born but isn't on the birth certificate.
His Ex is with a new partner & almost 2 years ago asked my Brother if the new man could adopt his Daughter. My brother agreed to this as although he doesn't want contact with his child he does want what is best for her & her to be happy. The problem is she keeps putting it on hold & it's unsettling for everyone not knowing what is happening. She is VERY money orientated & only ever discusses money when she contacts my Brother (Via me) she never discusses his Daughter just what money she should get etc etc. She also tried to blackmail my Brother at which point we involved the Police & Social Services.
Anyway my question is this......
His Ex has decided she wants to move to OZ with my Brothers Daughter & her partner, can she do this without my Brothers permission if her partner hasn't adopted the little girl?
My Brother just wants everything sorting out, the adoption to go through & for everyone to get on with their own lives but while ever he is still the legal Father his life is being made hell by the Ex. Can he stop her until she sorts out the adoption?
Sorry it's rather long & random but this really is a very short version of a very difficult situation.
Thanks
Doc2410
xxx
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i cant believe your brother can actually not want anything to do with his daughter, you hear of men that dont want contact because they dont want to pay maintanance, but if he is already payin it then why not play a role in her life and face his responsibilities. but if he is worried that she will come back demanding all the maintanance, then why dont ur brother put the money in a savings account every month as a back up.
if your brother has said he wants nothing to do with the child then i think fair play to the mother i wud
move away aswell what givesyour brother the rights to try and dtop them going when they want to go, when he dont care for this little girl anyway.
if your brother has said he wants nothing to do with the child then i think fair play to the mother i wud
move away aswell what givesyour brother the rights to try and dtop them going when they want to go, when he dont care for this little girl anyway.
It's not that he doesn't care for his Daughter, as in my origonal post I have cut a VERY long story short. Anyone who knows the two of them & knows the full situation has sided with my Brother. It's not about responsibilities it's about his rights as well as his Ex's. She had the child so she could get a council flat & claim benefits & as I said before Social Services have been involved.
When she was first born he saw his Daughter a few times including when she was 3 hours old then because his Ex said he wasn't paying enough she stopped his access even though the CSA set the amount. Since then they both met new partners he had a Son to his partner who he is with now & he died. During this time my Brother heard nothing from his Ex but continued to pay his maintainence. She got in touch again after hearing his Son had died & basically said now you don't have to buy things for your Son I want the extra money for my Daughter!!! Thats the sort of person she is so yes I hope she does move away & so does he but we want to know his legal rights!!!
When she was first born he saw his Daughter a few times including when she was 3 hours old then because his Ex said he wasn't paying enough she stopped his access even though the CSA set the amount. Since then they both met new partners he had a Son to his partner who he is with now & he died. During this time my Brother heard nothing from his Ex but continued to pay his maintainence. She got in touch again after hearing his Son had died & basically said now you don't have to buy things for your Son I want the extra money for my Daughter!!! Thats the sort of person she is so yes I hope she does move away & so does he but we want to know his legal rights!!!
Im sorry, I dont have a legal answer to your question but I just wanted to say I understand why your brother might have chosen not to have contact with his little girl. If the ex uses the child as a pawn to get what she wants then he could bond with the child and then she might decide to stop contact. And if he already had a son that has passed away then its going to be so hard to deal with the loss of a child twice. I hope I've got that right? I really do apologise if I've misread what you've said. I hope he manages to solve this problem.
if he isnt on the birth certificate im afraid he has very few legal rights
she can take him to "OZ" without his consent, and im not too sure on this one but im pretty sure she didnt have to ask his permission before putting her up for adoption if hes not on the birth certificate aswell
did he query enough into the CSA as he may not have to pay the maintenance as well it not on certificate, although if the DNA test has proven she is his then that could be why.
she can take him to "OZ" without his consent, and im not too sure on this one but im pretty sure she didnt have to ask his permission before putting her up for adoption if hes not on the birth certificate aswell
did he query enough into the CSA as he may not have to pay the maintenance as well it not on certificate, although if the DNA test has proven she is his then that could be why.
If you want to call him weak, fine go ahead but he's already lost one child & to get close to another & have her taken away, (which if you read through my question again you will see that that is what heppened) would kill him. I/he doesn't need to explain to you why he doesn't want to see her I just hope you're never in the position he's in.
His Ex has to go through me if she wants to discuss anything. Things I am not prepared to mention have happened & we had to take an injunction out against her. She cannot have any contact with my Brother at all just myself or via a solicitor.
As you can see it's obviously my Brother thats wrong for not seeing his Daughter I suppose she's just the poor Mother!!! I don't think so.....
As you can see it's obviously my Brother thats wrong for not seeing his Daughter I suppose she's just the poor Mother!!! I don't think so.....
He has already lost one child so doesn't want to get close to another in case it happens again?
What a pi55 poor excuse, sorry but it is.
If anything he should a) be fighting for parental responsibility (actually he should have already fought for it!) and b) be kicking up a stink to see his little girl.
Been hurt in the past indeed? what about the child? What is she going to feel and think when she finds out her dad wanted nothing to do with her??! I have zero sympathy for your bother and it beats me as to why he would want to stop her moving to OZ just because he donated the sperm to conceive her. Doesn't that make him even worse than the child's mother? Yes, it does. not only has he denied her a relationship with her father, he now wants to put the mocker son her building a life with a man who obviously cares for her (ex's new partner). How despicably selfish can one man be?
naky said:
"our brother should say he will only give his permission for the child to leave the country once the ex and here new partner have 'officially' adopted"
Once the child is adopted it will be nothing whatsoever to do with your brother where in the world the child lives.
Encourage your brother wholeheartedly to allow this child to leave for OZ with her mother - it will be the most selfless thign he has ever done for her in her short life
What a pi55 poor excuse, sorry but it is.
If anything he should a) be fighting for parental responsibility (actually he should have already fought for it!) and b) be kicking up a stink to see his little girl.
Been hurt in the past indeed? what about the child? What is she going to feel and think when she finds out her dad wanted nothing to do with her??! I have zero sympathy for your bother and it beats me as to why he would want to stop her moving to OZ just because he donated the sperm to conceive her. Doesn't that make him even worse than the child's mother? Yes, it does. not only has he denied her a relationship with her father, he now wants to put the mocker son her building a life with a man who obviously cares for her (ex's new partner). How despicably selfish can one man be?
naky said:
"our brother should say he will only give his permission for the child to leave the country once the ex and here new partner have 'officially' adopted"
Once the child is adopted it will be nothing whatsoever to do with your brother where in the world the child lives.
Encourage your brother wholeheartedly to allow this child to leave for OZ with her mother - it will be the most selfless thign he has ever done for her in her short life
You really don't have any idea what you're talking about. You're so not worth getting into an argument over. As i previously said I have cut a very very long story short & you don't know even a fraction of it.
Thank you to all those that responded with genuine answers & didn't jump on the slag off absent Dad's band wagon. You must be a very unhappy single mother!
Thank you to all those that responded with genuine answers & didn't jump on the slag off absent Dad's band wagon. You must be a very unhappy single mother!
I can't believe ppl are getting so riled up about this! having contact with your biological father is not always for the best, I'm not saying that's true in this case, but who are we to judge, it's up to him and when the kids older maybe she'll come find him maybe not but at least she's not in the middle of a tug-o-war now!
I'm sorry I don't have any legal advice for you doc but I would look into the parental responsibility thing as it does all seem to be about being named on the birth certificate.
Goood luck to you and your brother!
I'm sorry I don't have any legal advice for you doc but I would look into the parental responsibility thing as it does all seem to be about being named on the birth certificate.
Goood luck to you and your brother!
