Would you stand up to teenage yobs?

[evedawn]

Where i live 99% of the kids are pretty well behaved. However there is a minority group that seem to go around vandalising things, swearing, drinking etc.

Twice in less than 24 hours i have seen this group doing something they ought not to...

no point calling our community policing guy - he doesn't have much say and anyway arrives hours - or days - after the complaint.

I felt on both ocassions I should have said something but am ashamed to say I just walked by thereby possibly perpetuating their behaviour?

Part of me worres that if i say something i will be their next target but thats so cowardly of me :-( and it means their behaviour wins. :-(

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
Ignore?
Confront em?

I'd be interested in your opinions?

[B00]

It all depends on who I was with and in what particular kind of mood I was in to be honest!

If I had Mini Boo with me ,then no I wouldn't say anything. At the very best they'd swear at me, I dread to think what the worst case scenario could be.

If I was on my own and say grouchy, and knackered on my way home from work- then yes I probably would engage my gob before my brain, without really thinking of the consequences.

[keyplus90]

I would personally let them know that I did not like what they were doing. As I believe if everyone in the world would start thinking it has nothing to do with me then sooner rather than later it would definitely has something to do with me. And society does not prevail like that because that is selfish and individual thought and has nothing to do with society.

But the biggest problem now a days in our society is not these kids, but the people who these kids belong to. There was time when parents used to appreciate if someone else in the neighbourhood sincerely told their kids off as they themselves can not attach and watch their kids all the times. Now you can not do that because regardless what these kids were doing, their parents would blindly back them up and that is the main reason of so called Yob Culture. Because few parents unfortunately believe that by behaving like this their kids are becoming tough.

[B00]

I dont think its a case of "it's nothing to do with me" keyplus. In my case especially, I was thinking of personal safety more than anything. As i was saying, if Mini Boo was with me- she's 3 n half.......

[keyplus90]

And I was not referring to you directly by any means. I am just talking about a general attitude. And I know many people do that by thinking about personal safety. But as I said if we do not stop the problem when it is harming someone else�s safety and we are safe by keeping away or by keeping shut, then very soon it would be our turn and few other people might still be thinking about their own safety at that time. All those people killed recently or harassed by these yobs were not directly in any sort of trouble with them, most of the times they just happen to be there.

[jake-the-peg]

I think you need to expand on something they ought not to

Bad language?
Smoking?
Drinking?
Breaking and entering?
Beating up an old lady with her walking cane?

It kind of makes a difference

[sara3]

I agree.. it depends what it was they were up to.

you have to think about your own safety and perhaps that of your kids. I'd be wary of approaching a gang on my own.

[naomi24]

It's hard to say because personal safety is such an important consideration these days. Yob culture incenses me, so like B00, I usually speak before thinking about the consequences, but if the situation seemed very dicey, I might think twice. Twice recently I've told rowdy teenagers to pick up rubbish they'd thrown in the street - and even though I got a 'look', they picked it up. You never can tell - sometimes it works - but at other times perhaps it wouldn't. Maybe I was lucky - or maybe I'm just really scary!! Grrrr.... :o)

[Jillius]

Some lads from a village nearby were in our village this morning and they left cans, crisp packets and all sorts of rubbish on the grass opposite my house. I was outraged and shouted to them to take their rubbish home with them. Of course they ignored me and no doubt my car will be vandalised by tomorrow !
It makes me so angry. My kids wouldn't dream of leaving their litter anywhere.

[evedawn]

Thanks all for your input - it's such a contentious issue. I feel ashamed of myself for not saying anythig - i'm not the sort who is usually afraid to voice my opinion in other circumstances so why was i intimidated in this case? It's a failing on my part that I worry about reprisals :-(

To answer jakes question as to what it was they were doing.

Well the first instant (last night) i was walking past on my way home when this group were swearing (top of their voices) and drinking and to top it all were banging on the local newsagent shop being HIGHLY insulting and derogatory about the owners background (pakistani) - although his store was closed he lives upstairs and must've been able to hear it all. (not fair when he is a hard working decent member of the village - !)

the 2nd (this afternoon) was when I saw them deliberately breaking a wooden fence in a public recreation area. Some group of boys as last night - and again I jsut kept schtuum.

I know what you mean about the parents keyplus90 - okay so SOMETIMES the parents just don't know but i think alot (most?) of the time the parents dont WANT to know and if they do don't give a damn about the behaviour anyway.

I certainly don't want to tar all the kids in the area with the same brush cos like i said most of the kids are just normal teenagers and don't cause the puyblic any grief at all...

I dunno if i am more angry with the kids or myself... i think next time i should really try manis way of FIRST speaking to em calmly...(but no mani I WONT be punching em in the face...violence begets violence after all)


PS sorry about the L---OOOO-NG rant above.

[123everton]

First things first, you can't polish a turd. Do you think if you talk to them they''ll see the error of their ways?
I deal with scum on a regular basis every time and I MEAN EVERY TIME they square up to you they'll do so as a man, until you touch them and they go down like a child, and then you're in trouble.
If they find out where you live they'll target you and they won't think twice about attacking your pets or other property.
They're dirt, they're filth, they're scum, they're beneath contempt and I hate them with a passion with all my heart and soul such people disgust me.
The Police and your C.S.O are the only real options open to you, speak to the shop keper offer your support and sympathy (quietly between yourselves) and then keep on hammering the Police and you're local councillors with reports. It will take time but you'll win (painlessly) in the end by being discreet.

[Theland1]

Violence and the threat of it works.
That's why drug dealers owed money don't go in for counselling, they just use heavies to send out a message.
But we, as a society, pussy foot around trying to,"understand" the criminals, instead of taking whatever measures are necessary to make them sh1t scared of breaking the law.
In my shameful violent past, I have taken the law into my own hands and used violence because it was my short sharp shock to bring about peace for me and my family.
(Lack of police interest)
I have also been the victim of threatened violence and had to pay off two bad gangsters chasing a debt from my son, (NOT drug related), and defenceless, I had to pay up.
(Lack of police interest)
To think years ago, coppers could hand out a "clip over the ear" - good old days.

[evedawn]

well - just had a quick look before turning in 4 the night - thanks for your opinions...

incidentally - on the telly 2night i was watching a show called (i think) street crime...(nowt else of interest on the box so it was purely co-incidental)

anyway - this showed time and time and time again these drunken yobs being taken into custody and let off "with a caution"....if they can swear and abuse the cops this way andegt off with a slap on the wrist then what luck for the rest of us ay?

Hohummmm......


G'nite all. Enjoy the rest of ur evening. (all 15 mins of it till midnight)

[naomi24]

I might be wrong, but it seems to me that most people on AB who support tougher discipline for young people, and are less likely to excuse anti-social behaviour, are parents themselves, or like Everton - I don't think he has children(?) - work daily with the public. I wonder why that is?

[jake-the-peg]

Well firstly I certainly wouldn't interfere with a group of drunken aggressive teenagers and I'm a reasonably large mail with a black belt in Karate.

I would though have called the Police.

Look, you are not a police officer. The police occupy a specific position in the law. They are charged with upholding the peace and obstructing or assaulting them is a specific offence. They can summon help if things get out of hand and are trained in handling difficult situations

You are not.

If you go and "calmly talk" with a bunch of drunk teenagers (or adults for that matter) I don't think you'll get a positive response and it'll likely escalate into a confrontation.

Unlike the police you are not charged with keeping order and upholding the law and so if it all kicks off you'll be looked at as being partly to blame for wading in

You should absolutely not feel bad about not getting involved yourself.

I don't quite see why you didn't, I'm pretty sure that if you'd rang 999 and said there was a gang of youths banging on the news agents shutters and yelling racist abuse at him they'd have sent a patrol car around pretty damn fast.

[Andyvon]

It can depend what mood you are in at the time.

I spent three years in Grimsby a few years ago and the car crime and vandalism there is unbelievable. Every day you find another three or four cars burnt out in the park and cars are scratched just for being shiny. Sometimes whole groups systematically work a line of cars - one person wrecking wipers, another the aerials, another the mirrors, two scratching paint etc. Then they move on to the next. The police are nowhere in sight and not interested.

I was walking my dog across Sainsbury's car park one night at 2am when I heard a terrific crash. A minute later five youngsters ran across the car park laughing with a woman following and she told me they had just crashed a car through railings and wrecked the traffic lights. I told her to call the police while I collared the kids.

Well, I did just that at 2 in the morning. I was so furious I lost my rag and the five simply stood rooted to the spot until the police arrived. God knows what I was like but it had built up over months of seeing mindless damage.

When the police came the next day to thank the woman and me they said the four passengers had told them who the driver was. It turned out the driver was 15, the three other boys were 14, and the girl was 13. The girl's parents thought she was 'sleeping over' at a friend's house - turned out she was driving round in stolen cars at 2am! The 15 year old eventually landed a bill of �8500 from the council for damage to be paid back over years.

I might not tackle five car thieves again but I did that night. I was just in that mood.

[know-ledge]

i'm in the mood to crush a grape

[tiggerblue10]

My area is pretty rough and I would rather stick pins in my eyes than confront yobs. A 16 year old boy was killed yards from where I live a few weeks back (was in the news). Apparently he was from a rival gang.

I really need to move!

[Andyvon]

Yep - I'm in that mood now! Now I've had my blast - I should answer the question!

I wouldn't mess with them evedawn. You'lll probably open yourself to all manner of trouble if you try to tackle them about anything.

It's a sad sign of the times but this society has done a lot to create this situation. Youngsters have been taught to no longer respect adults or anything around them. Yougsters can't be smacked or punished - by law. If anyone tries in fact, they'll be arrested and the kids know it. A child can tell an adult to f*** off and the adult will have to do just that with the kids laughing behind their back.
So many of these kids have never been in a stable home and their parents never bothered to marry or settle down. Many of these children just know their father as someone their mother once had a relationship with and they've spent their life meeting a string of Mummy's latest boyfriends. Boys in particular need a father when they are growing up. Not only to teach them discipline and respect but also to show them how to change the brakes on their first car or to show them why its misfiring. What hope do many of these kids really have? What chance of a secure job or their own home? Or any kind of future?

Just leave them along. As children we used to fear adults - now it's the adults who fear the children.