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cant afford i a family

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JaideyBaby | 14:30 Wed 06th Aug 2008 | Family & Relationships
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i know i am young but me and my fiance really want to start a family. But the thing is, i am in college and only work part time and he is a car valetter with a very low wage and we just cant afford a baby at the moment. we live together and just about manage rent and bills but want to be able to give a child everytrhing it need. its getting me really down, i just want to start a family.
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Believe me, no matter how much you think you can't, when baby comes along you find a way. We thought like that for years, and all my sums said we couldn't do it. But we did. Things are tight, sometimes very, but you get by and it's worth every minute...
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i think our problem is that with it being our first baby, we want everything to be the best, eg �300-400 prams lol maybe we just have to lower our standards a little bit. thankyou, your comment was so reasureing. im so used to people telling me to wait, but i dont think anyone can every really afford a baby, unless thier stinkin rich! lol
I know what you mean, and you're right - you just lower your standards/hopes a bit. That doesn't mean to say you can't have nice things - �300 - �400 will get you a nice pram/stroller + cot and bedding for example. There will never be a 'right' time, unless you win the lottery! Like I said, you manage.
jaidey, you say your young, how young? money can be found when a baby comes along, you just make do. instead of buying yourself a top or going out, the money goes on the baby.

more importantly, how long have you been with your fiance? are you in a secure relationship? will your family support your decision to start a family? why are you so keen to have a baby?

i think figuring these things out first is more important than the finance side. and if you already know all the answers to them, then good luck to you.
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yea i do know all the answers, i have already spoken about starting a family with my parents and they are totally behind me with it. i have not been with my fiance too long, about a year, but i feel that we are so strong and extremily close. we would manage. and i dont really kno why i am so keen, i cant descibe it. its just a feeling, i love children and have an dream to start my own family.
As everyone else has said for most people there never is atime when on paper you can afford it, but you always manage.
When i had mine we didn't have much money so we tried to find a balance of some new/more expensive things and less costly ones. Perhaps buy a more expensive pram/buggy that will adjust and last longer and cut costs in other areas.
All the high costs you see in the papers are exaggerated, babies don't need hundreds of towels, blankets, toys and gadgets, especially as they really do grow so fast and out of things.
As long as your baby has the basics and is loved everything will be fine.

Good luck x
Family and friends will help too, they'll be looking forwrad tp it just like you
if your parents are behind you then ask them to foot the bills of all the very best things you want for baby.

What is wrong with waiting until you really are in a better and more settled financial position.

Get your college and exams out of the way, find a career, earn some money so you afford to give up work (at least for some time) and raise a family.

don't shoot me but a year isn't very long to be with a guy to start a family. but then again lots of people do. some split and some stay together for 50years.

think carefully about it before you get pregnant. because once your a mum, there is no going back. however, it could be the best decision you make, to start a family now.

if your worried about money, could you take a year to save up? that way when you have the baby, things won't be as tight. also, your fiance may be able to get a better job.
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Thankyou very much for your advise. does anyone know any good websites for baby stuff? mother care is the best one i have seen so far but cant find any other good ones
for what in particular?

mothercare is a huge store and trades on its name. It hasnt alwasy got the customer service records of others or the price deals.

If youre just wanting to look at cute baby stuff then of course its ideal
Hi
I do not know where you live but in Peterborough there is an amazing store called Kiddicare ,and they often have amazing deals on sets of things and they also have a website
www.kiddicare.com
I think or .co.uk, not sure but google it !
and 3-400 on a pram is a huge amount you can get some really nice ones for a lot cheaper than that ,designer names are only names it does not mean they are the best,decide what you want and need and then look for something that fits that requirement
good luck
Are you for real?my youngest was born in peterborough what joy!!!,how old are you ? think you are young, or you would have told us!!!!
oooooooh, another greenie question!
You don't want a baby.

Your hormones are raging making you think you do. Believe me, it is no fun at all struggling for years, making do, and being a parent when all your friends are out having fun and exploring the world.

Your priorities are wrong. A baby doesn't give a hoot what pram or pushchair it has, couldn't care less what it's wearing as long as it is warm and comfy.

If you want the best for your baby, get a good education and a steady job. Make a proper home and have fun growing up yourself. Get to know your man properly and spend this time doing everything you possibly can that you won't be able to do when you have a baby.

At the moment you are being ruled by your hormones. They'll settle down.
I know exactly how you feel and others are right, you may never have enough money, but really you dont need as much as you might think. I would say buy secondhand, look in papers, and car boots (those who do spend lots of money then sell it all!) I have just got a beautiful solid pine cot in the paper for �20 and it is in perfect condition. Also the NCT does nearly new baby sales which are good, look on their website for info when they are on in your area. dont be fooled into buying the masses of baby stuff you can get, you dont need most of it at all, you can do things like use a plastic toy box as a bath and then as a toy box when they are older. a basic buggy is fine, using cloth nappies will save you a lot of money too. i think highchairs are a bit of a waste of money and they are so hard to clean, better to use a bouncy chair and then a booster for normal chair.
good luck!
if you had to have everything cheap or second hand, would you still want a baby?
My god how did we ever get through having children!!!!!
My mams friend put off having children cos her and her husband "couldnt afford it" and now she cant because of medical reasons... my mam always says you will always find a hundred reasons to not have a baby and if you listen to all of them you'll never have one

bear in mind most mothers get a �500 maternity grant before baby is born, child benefit of �18 per week, and child tax credit, plus since your both on low income and wil have a child you will get working tax credit too.

not that thats what you need to focus on, a baby will cost more than governement will ever give you, but it eases the stress.
and its amazing the amount of hand me down stuff you get, im 6 months pregnant and i already have enough clothes to last baby til shes 9 months because of 2nd hand clothes, half of which have never been worn.

mam is buying the cot, dad is buying the pram and argos does some quite good stuff, in a range of prices, which are all proper standard and explains what you get with it ie type or strap on a pram etc

the only thing you need to think about in reality is the environment your bringing baby into- is it safe warm and loving? because in reality that is a million times more important than a �300 pram
sorry myselfness but the quote "most mothers get a �500 maternity grant before baby is born" is incorrect.

There are two grades of grant �300 and �500 and these are only given to mothers who are on certain benefits.

Youre right that every mother can claim for child benefit as this is not means tested
myselfness - i think telling a young girl she can get �500 for having a baby and other benefits may tempt her to have one.

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