Breastfeeding in public

[enigma]

Should breastfeeding in public be banned or embraced as the most natural way to feed your child ? If breastfeeding is being promoted as the healthiest way to feed your baby and mothers are being advised of not only the nutritional benefits to their baby but also of the health benefits to both baby and mum , then why is it frowned upon in so many establishments such as eateries and department stores ?

[enigma]

The reason why I ask is because I am nearly six months pregnant with my third child and full intend to breastfeed as I am fully aware of all the benefits to both baby and I but I am horrified by some people's reaction to the idea of what seems to me like the most natural thing in the world to do. I bottle fed my first daughter because I bowed down to pressure in my family to do so as no-one - with the exception of the older generation - had fed their baby in this way and also my hubby was a bit selfish by thinking that he would not be able to play a part in her care giving. ( for which he has now apologised and sees sense in me breastfeeding and supports me fully )I immediately regretted this and vowed that if we were blessed with any more children then I would breastfeed - which I did with my second daughter. I was horrified to discover that not a lot of stores are breastfeeding friendly (In one restaurant which I was in the waitress haughtily sniffed that I should feed my baby in the toilet as "no-one wants to see that kind of thing here" and that was a family restaurant according to their advertising blurb ! )What do you all think ?

[enigma]

Just to clarify my last post , this was during the early stages of breastfeeding when I did not feel comfortable about feeding in front of other people. As any mother who has ever breastfed before will know , the more you do it , you gain confidence and learn how to discreetly feed your child so that you are not baring all in front of others. No-one would have known that I was feeding my daughter because I didn't "wap them out on the table " (as my friend so eloquently said once in conversation !. It just looked as if she was cuddling in to me. You can imagine my surprise then when an elderly lady in a restaurant , where I was eating out with my sister , came up to me and said that it was lovely that my baby was cuddled in to me and when I smiled and told her that she was actually feeding , she assaulted me with her cane ! She told me that I was a jezebel and should be thrown out because I was a disgrace (even though nothing was on display)and that there was a "Place for THAT kind of thing" So where should that place be ? In my mind , the elderly lady was the disgrace for making such a show of herself in public and for assaulting me! WHy DO some people feel so uncomfortable with the idea of breastfeeding and how do they think mothers fed their babies in the pre-Cow And Gate , Farleys , SMA days ?

[tracymort]

Well with my first son i truly didn't understand how good breastfeeding was so i did hide but now you couldn't pay me a million to bottlefeed! i'm proud to feed and will feed my children anywhere, even my 2 year old. Most of the time people don't notice anyway and if they do you get a smile. In fact the most positive comments have come from elderly people. I've not had a bad word said yet. If you get a good sling (such as those at www.peppermint.com ) you can breastfeed and walk around and you can't see anything. It's a wonderful thing, helps you get on with things and do all that feeding that needs to be done. Breastfeeding is how babies are meant to be fed, you can be discrete, in fact people saw more of my breasts in the outfits i got away with before children than now. If someone has a problem with the lovely image of a child being fed the best food ever then it's their problem. They obviously have issues they need dealing with and your child shouldn't be denied breastmilk whenever he or she needs it because of them! Breastfeeding needs to be seen more to educate the future parents that it's normal. I go into the local secondary school (i hope to plant the idea in their head before they consider children) to give talks on breastfeeding and feed my son in the school on purpose. We are bombarded with bottles when they are often a sad image to me of a mum being let down by a health professional or lack of support. On tv in one month there were nearly 200 images of bottles and one of breastfeeding. This needs to change!

[Philtaz]

I'm not sure there are that many establishments that do frown upon it these days. It has become acceptable in society(not that it should have been unacceptable anyway!) and is almost commonplace now. After all, why would you frown upon the most basic, natural instinct of a mammal who is feeding its young?(Sorry to put it in simple terms such as those). tracyh is right about the bottlefeeding issue though I believe most tend to use them for convenience in order to fit in with todays busy, modern lifestyle. To be fair, in the hospital where I work the midwives promote breastfeeding quite strongly but many of the younger parents seem to be oblivious to the benefits of it and as i say use the bottle for convenience, unfortunately.

[tracymort]

I agree with the convenience side, except they don't realise that breastfeeding is far more convenient. so when i talk in schools i play on the laziness aspect of it! I can't be bothered to make a bottle, all that time heating up while baby cries, washing up, buying the stuff etc i just lift my top and it's all done! Also i like to surprise the kids with some facts like pammy anderson feeding and that even her milk has less silicon that formula in it. That milk of a smoker is still better than formula etc That you can still have a drink if you time it right. I'm hoping to gets through to them! I'm pretty young too and don't look like a "Hippy earth" mother (although i am really washing my nappies too) so thought i'd be taken more notice of than someone older.

[MrsCheeks]

Honey if you want to breastfeed your baby then I suggest you GO FOR IT!! Stuff anyone who thinks it is wrong ... they have a probl;em NOT YOU! I had more insulting remarks made to me by other women than men when I breastfed my first baby. You feed your baby how you want, where you want and when you want. Be strong, and don't let the morons get you down. Massive hugs. xxxxx

[Wraith]

Breast feeding in public should not be banned. It is a natural way to feed a baby and is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed of.

My wife didn't breastfeed any of our three children. This was mostly down to convenience and the embarrassment she felt she would feel when feeding in public.

If you want to breast feed in public then go for it. If anyone has a problem they shouldn't be looking.

[MrsCheeks]

By the way ..... breastfeeding is NOT banned in public in any country in Europe!!

[tracymort]

in scotland it's illegal to STOP a mother breastfeeding, if you try you get fined.

[zgma]

In Berkeley we even had a record-setting breastfeeding event - they gathered thousands of breastfeeding moms and babies in an auditorium, and all breastfed at the same time. Sadly, I was about 8 months pregnant at the time, so I couldn't yet participate. But I still nurse my 2 year old wherever... haven't had any nasty comments yet.

[andy hughes]

I would hope that any perceived distaste is breastfeeding is being eroded as we become more aware. Personally, I would have no problem is anyone breastfeeding near me, i certainly wouldn't make an issue of staring at mum and baby, and anyone who does is rather weird!

[Doolallygirl]

I'm 21 and I don't particularly like the idea of eating a nice meal and then looking up to see a mother breastfeeding at the next table. It's kinda off putting to be honest. True, I haven't had kids of my own yet and I don't have anything against breastfeeding. I just wouldn't want to see it when I was trying to eat! I think rooms should be put into restaurants and the like for this. For the mothers if not for the other diners simply because of the embarrassment issue. Am I really wrong to think this though? I've noticed so far nobody else has said anything AGAINST breastfeeding. In my local shopping precinct there is a special room set aside near the toilets for nursing mothers. I'd rather people used this than just started breast feeding in public. Maybe it's just my squeemishness? Also I thought breast milk could be pumped out and put into a bottle, would this not be an easy solution rather than using the cow & gate stuff or other powdered milks? How old are kids before they stop getting breast fed? I thought 2 was a bit old?! (Shows how much I know about kids huh!)

[tracymort]

1stly 2 isn't too old. the world health organisation advise you breastfeed "up to and beyond 2 years". babies are designed to wean when they are ready and research has shown the natural weaning age of humans is somewhere between 2.5 and 7 years. http://www.kathydettwyler.org/dettoddler.html 2ndly you don't see my breasts when i feed. in fact if i was feeding at a table near you you probably wouldn't notice! just looks like we are having a cuddle or that he's asleep. would you rather that than a screaming distressed baby? and no you can't just express, some do but especially in the early months it's not a good idea as it can confuse the baby and also lead to a decrease in the mums milk supply. the whole point is that breastfeeding is convenient no need for bottles which are a pain! i really can't understand why people wouldn't like it. It's what breasts are made for. no-one seems to have a problem with them on tv and and magazines all the time but use them for their primary purpose and they all get funny about it! very strange!

[Doolallygirl]

7 years old?! Being breastfed?! Ridiculous, by this time the child is at school, what's it gonna do when it's hungry? Will mummy have to be there all day every day just in case?! That's fine if you want to breast feed in public, I'm just giving my opinion that I wouldn't like it if I saw it doing my everyday stuff, like shopping, eating, walking down a street etc. I think it is quite private thing to be done in a quiet place (surely this would pacify the child too) out of the sight of people that may object.

[undercovers]

just to clarify doolallygirl do breasts themselves make you squeamish or the milk? I really didn�t think breast feeding was an issue in this day and age, thought it had gone out with covering the table legs just to be on the safe side.

[natalie_1982]

I'm 21 and although when I have children I would like to breastfeed I wouldn't want to do it in public. Also, I don't find women breastfeeding their babies in public offensive but I'd prefer not to see it, especially if, as dolallygirl points out, the milk can be pumped into bottles, etc. I wouldn't want to see a 2yr old being breastfed, and if I saw a 7yr old being breastfed I would certainly walk away. If I hadn't just been told it's "ok" to breastfeed a 7yr old, I would also have called the police.

[natalie_1982]

And I just want to point out that I wouldn't want to breastfeed in public because there are private places around and they're my boobies that I don't want all and sundry watching! I'd feel more comfortable being abe to feed my baby in private.

[dirtyharriet]

I breastfed my 2 sons and you would be suprised by people who still see it as something to be frowned on. Using the argument that it is a natural function produced the response that "So is having a cr*p but you don't see me doing that in public do you"? I was also classed as a partypooper at xmas because I refused a drink as I was breastfeeding. People can be weird sometimes.

[woofgang]

I have no problem with public breastfeeding....do have a problem with the burping and spitting up part of the exercise and would certainly not want to see that while eating!!! If you are sure that you little angel doesn't belch like an earthquake and will not produce part of his meal while doing so, then do go ahead

[woofgang]

PS I am female, married no kids no likely to have