Why??

[tamirra]

Why do i find it so hard to give my 10 month old grandaughter back after having her for the day, i cry everytime she has to go, i have had 2 children of my own both grown up now, could it be because i had to have a hysterectomy at the age of 25 and i could be longing for another baby, i know my daughter thinks im just being silly but i do find it so so difficult, please help as im worried that my daughter might stop bringing her round because of it. Thank you in advance. x

[lozzylou]

arrgh thats really sad. i think you could be right about longing for another one of your own. im not sure how old you are but could you not look at becomming a childminder, where you will be arnd children all day long and you will get used to having to give them back. have you sat and told your daughter how you feel, i know you may feel silly but it will help her to understand why you get so upset.

[tamirra]

Hi, im not sure that child minding would help, im not sure if its just my grandaughter i long for or babies in general, i have mentioned it to my daughter but she just thinks im being stupid and says just remember shes not yours shes mine, which dosn`t help! My sons girlfriend is having a baby the end of Jan and im worried it will happen again. Im 43 years old.

[joggerjayne]

I'm thinking Glenn Close, bunny boiler ...

[lozzylou]

arrgh thats not very nice of your daughter really. if it was my mom i would try and understand. maybe you could try talking to your sons girlfriend to see if she can be a bit more understanding, tell her your worries
i do think that you have to remember that your not her mummy but i think it would be easier with your daughters support.i dont really know your circumstances but could you not look at becomming a foster carer or looking at adoption. you can stilladopt a child if u are single or not working etc

[andy-hughes]

I think you still have a very strong maternal instinct, and that is aroused by handling a baby with whom you have a biological link.

I think your daughter is being insenstiive, but given that she is taking the somewhat unfeeling stance on the issue, I would pull right back from discussing your feelings with her any more. If you need to cry when the little one goes home, make sure you don;t do it until your daughter has gone - it will only exacerbate the situation.

I would not be inclined to think of child minding or adoption, because neither option is going to resolve your feelings.

I think you need to allow your feelings, and discuss them with friends of a similar age, who are more likely to understand and support you.

I think your daughter is very lucky to have such a caring and loving mother, it's a shame she doesn;t appreciate you.

Try not to let your feelings stop you from enjoying your grand-daughter's company. The relationship between Nana and grandchuldren is very special - my wife adores being a nana to our two grandchildren, all the fun and plasure, none of the problems or sleepless nights.

Enjoy your new role fully, and your distress will fade with time.

[tamirra]

Thank you andy i will try and i do try not to get upset but i just get too overwhelmed when the time does come for her to go, i think maybe it is something i will get over, but for the time being its very hard. Thank you again. x

[andy-hughes]

You are most welcome.

They say time is a great healer, but they always forget to tell you how much time that may be ...

A x

[tamirra]

lol yeah thats true, lets hope its not too long then eh? x