why do grandparents only care about the first born???

[onlyme26]

hmmm im wondering and trying to find out why ( in majority cases) do grandparents seem to favour the first born,
my daughter is 7 and in my family my nephew is the favourite, and in my partners family his eldest is the favourite!
this is unfair on my daughter, i have come to terms with it now but i wonder why is this???
my mum and dad arent too bad but my nephew is quite clearly the little boy they never had!

but my partners mum just ignores my daughter basically!! she spoils the first born ( my partners daughter now 10) buys her clothes, toys, dvds pretty much every week, takes her to the zoo, she even has her own zoo membership! she comes to stay with us 2 nights a week but most of the time she is with my partners mum!! and my daughter gets nothing, nevers gets invited out, no phone calls, nothing really, she is starting to notice and wonder why?????
she is nan to both of them? so why favour one so much?

i have had to folk out thousands in the past for child care ( while i work) as my mum and dad are dedicated to picking up my nephew to and from school and my partners mum dedicated to picking up his eldest!!
the sad thing is, she doesnt have a nanny to spoil her like they do :o(

[Le Chat]

Perhaps the problem is that she doesn't really like you, so it gets filtered down into how she treats your daughter. If she's that pig headed, stubborn and always thinks she's right, she may not even be aware that she is doing it....or she may be very aware...... Just looking at this from a slightly different angle.

[rachael88]

myself my two sisters and all my cousins have always been treated the same no matter what

[onlyme26]

Le chat. there is some truth in that, she didnt want me around when me and partner first met, she made me feel unwelcome in her house to the point i didnt want to go round anymore, then when i got pregant she said a few things that made me think my baby wasnt welcome in the family,
she isnt nasty to my face tho i know when me and partner briefy split she said a few things about me,

now im pregnant she will ask about me and how i am, but the way i see it, its too little too late, she hasnt had much to do with my first daughter who is now 7

i dont know if its me, she has been mean in the past and basically left out my daughter, but ive come to realise thats life and now when the new baby comes im wondering whether to include her in their life or not, because if i dont she wont blink an eyelid! but on the other hand, what if my child grows up wondering why i never let them see nanny?
i just want an easy life, i love my family and really loooking forawrd to my new baby, i cant be bothered with any hassle!!

i dont know, i guess i except that some get treated better then others, even when there is no good reason for it!

[zzxxee]

i dont no why grandparents seem to favour the eldest over the youngest. although my mum loves my youngest she does have more special time with my eldest... As long as you spoil your daughter rotten and give her lots of attention she should be ok stick two big fingers upo at her so called nan who cares

[spudqueen]

I do sympathise with you . Mr Spudqueens Mum is a fantastic Grandma to all her Grandchildren, and has never shown any favouritism at all. My Mother was a different kettle of fish though and obviously favoured my eldest son over my younger one, and these were the only two grandchildren she had. It was really obvious and in the end I had to tackle her over it. The bad mouthing of my younger child did stop after that, at least in front of me. It was only after she died and I was talking to her sister that I realised she had been bad mouthing the younger one round the family, so they all had a bad opinion of him. I couldn't believe it. When I was going through my Mums stuff after she died I found diaries going back a few years and so I looked up the date that my younger son was born. His birth wasn't even mentioned!
If I am ever a Grandmother I was do my very very best to not show any favouritsm at all, as I know how upset I have been over this. Hopefully my children were too young to notice and have not been affected by this at all.