how do i get visitation rights to see my grandchildren

[upsetnan]

where do i stand with getting visitation rights to see the grandchildren my dil says i have no rights and its is a privelage granted by her to when i see the children... i have not seen or heard from them since may 2008 and previous i only saw them approx 2hrs every month to 6wks...my son as apparantly been given the ultimatum of them or us by his wife..my dil will no longer have anything to do with us and this means we no longer have any contact with any of them.. please advise

[CUPID]

Oh my love, I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say, but there must be someone on here who can help you.
I have 3 grandkids of my own and I would die if I didn't see them on a regualr basis.
My heart goes out to you.......

xx

[daffy654]

You have no legal right to access to see your grandchildren,the best course of action for you would be to make peace with your son and daughter in law.
What reason has your daughter in law got for refusing you visitation? Most women wouldn't deny grandparents access to their children without good reason.I am not insinuating that you are a bad person in any way but she must have her reasons for this.

[Buenchico]

Please read my post here, and then click on the link to read about someone else's efforts to challenge the law. Then click through from there, to get to the website of the Grandparents' Association:
http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Family/Question 388566.html

Chris

[Ethel]

Grandparents have no automatic rights of contact with their grandchildren - your daughter in law is quite correct in this.

However, you can apply to the courts for a contact order, but there is no guarantee. There is more info here:

http://www.family-lawfirm.co.uk/Articles/Child ren/Grandparents-rights.aspx

It is a very sad situation that is becoming more common - I wish you well.

[upsetnan]

thanks all for your answers.... daffy654 i can see where you would think i had done wrong,,, but the truth is my dil has been itching for a reason to get us out of their lives..my son and dil have been together since they where 15 and she has been part of our family from then,,,, but since she had the children 3 yrs and 1yr ago we have been pushed out of her family circle until we now no longer have contact ... i can only say her attitude is now one as they are her children and she controls who they see...

[Nosha123]

Could u maybe write a letter saying how you feel.. and appeal to her better side? Ask her what you have done to upset her as you dont think you have done anything wrong but that if you have you are very sorry indeed.
I personally would not let my MIL ever see any kids I have but thats cos she is really evil and hurt my Husband a lot.. so we cut her out of our lives years ago.
Maybe you havent done anything wonrg.. and maybe you have - but you will only find out by asking..

[jen78]

Bear in mind contact centres, I' have volunteered in a couple and they work well.

Usually people are referred by the courts or social services where access is allowed or granted but either should be supervised or the various parties don't want to see each other.

We used to have two waiting rooms and we would look after the children between one party dropping the child off and the other arriving for visiting, same with leaving.

It could be an idea to consider.

We always used to have loads of toys and tea and coffee and such available to make the visit as enjoyable as possible.

[jen78]

Ps there can be all kinds of strange reasons people have for doing things.

My ex got with his ex wife when they were at uni. When her parents found out they arranged a wedding pretty quick. His ex wife made him choose, her or his parents (apparantly she was worried his parents would split them up) so they weren't at the wedding and he didn't see them for 7 years until they split up.

I have to say, his parents, in fact whole family, are the loveliest people, always made me feel so welcome and just a few weeks ago his dad helped me move into my new flat and took me to a rescue centre to get my cat, even after me and my ex had split.

I can see just how happy they are to have him back in their lives, it just shines out of his dad especially.

People can do funny things.

[upsetnan]

nasha thanks for your reply but i have done everything possible to try and find out why this is happending. but the emails text and phone calls all get mis interpreted to her own ends at the end of the day she has had everything she wanted from us and now sefishly no longer need us around, it is not as we live on the doorstep. it is a 45min car drive that seperates us..her family live just around the corner from us and they are treated in someway in the same manner.