parents fighting

[AutomaticGal]

What should you do when you're an only child and your parents fight every day, all day, whenever they see each other? The consequence of an arranged marriage. The parents don't realise that their extensive fighting affects their child, seriously affects her. She is depressed. She gets chest pains that the ignorant parents think is some sort of medical problem. She stays in her room all the time. She's tried talking to them but as soon as she starts the topic the parents shun her and say that she has nothing to do with it and that she has no reason to be upset. She has told them that it affects her and they tell her it doesn't... like they are living her life. She knows that parents argue and its normal... but their arguments are to another level. A fight starts over the mom telling the dad that he should not eat late at night as it's not good for him. ( the dad is a heart patient ) and it develops from them screaming at each other across the living room INFRONT of their daughter, to the mom going into the kitchen in tears, then they scream at each other across rooms and finally the dad in the most scariest/ threatening way possible storms into the kitchen as if he is about to hit her hard and screams at her more. Things being said like "you and your whole family have a mental health problem, your all crazy and retarded", "You can go rot In hell for all I care once I leave this $hithole" and worse....
What the more depressing part is when one of them is at the end of their (very short) tether seeing their kid is quiet and reserved or upset, they scream at her saying "what could possibly be your problem at your age, are you finding your homework hard" in the most patronising voice, quite clearly oblivious to anything. Not to mention that the mother after an argument takes her anger out on her kid and so does the father and when the kids had enough and she retaliates she gets "you disrespectful little b!tch, how dare you speak to your mother/father like

[AutomaticGal]

�you disrespectful little b!tch, how dare you speak to your mother/father like that.� and that�s jus the first line of a 30 minute rant of swear words, criticisms and the exaggeration of the smallest nag like not putting shoes in when going into the kitchen....
She doesn�t have any siblings to understand and share what she�s going through, none of her cousins or friends could possibly understand the magnitude of the situation. She can�t go to aunties or uncles as not only she is scared of her parents hurting her for spreading �family matters�, she understand there is a possibility that the families will break apart.

What can she do.... she�s only a teenager.

[nohorn]

You have my sympathy; I grew up the same way around parents (one alcoholic). It affects me now even every day, such as post traumatic stress disorder even no many years later. You are how you grew up, its not easy to let mind numbing events go.

My advice--get out of there, go to the nearest child welfare office, and refuse to go back. And then hope you get a decent fosterhome. You need peace and quiet anda place where you can balance your soul, other wise you will end up like they are.

[waterboatman]

Hello Automaticgal,
You poor kid, you do not deserve that kind of treatment from the people who should be protecting you. It is abuse, however you look at it, it is abuse. As hard as it may seem, for your own sake, and safety, you must get out of what is surely a dangerous situation. Your parents obviously do not understand what they are doing to you. It is no good them saying that it is nothing to do with you, you are in the middle, of course you are going to be upset. nohorn is right, you must go to the nearest child welfare office and tell them what is happening. It will be hard sweetheart,, but you must do it. The violence is only a word or a split second away. do it to day. Phone childline, they will help you. I wish you well AutomaticGal

[pastafreak]

I too, would advise calling Childline....that is what they are there for. You can also try The Samaritans if the situation is having a severly negative impact on your life,as it does seem to be doing.
If verbal contact with your parents is not working, could you try putting all your thoughts down on paper.....partly to show your parents.....and also as a kind of diary and record of not just what has been happening, but also of the frequency and intensity of those arguments along with the effect it is having on you.
And yes......the ultimate choice is to simply leave.........tell your friends....AND their parents. Don't assume they will be unsympathetic. The more support you can get-both practical and emotional-the better off you will be. Do NOT keep it to yourself.

[AutomaticGal]

Is there any help available for teens who are to old to be in fostercare, but cant afford their own place as they do not have enough savings or no regular wage.

[waterboatman]

Hi again AutomaticGal
Your second question, once again, call childline, they will be able to help much, much more than you might think. They are lovely people, and they are very good at what they do. they are there to help YOU, AutomaticGal! So for the sake of your safety and your sanity, phone them today poppet. you do not have to put up with that kind of behaviour. You have done the hardest bit...asking us. That took a lot of courage, now you need to be brave alittle bit more and make the call. It may well help your parents as well, they obviously do not realise what they are doing to you.
Good luck!