telling someone a loved one has died

[mimi-moomoo]

I've just recieved a phonecall off my grandma telling me my great-aunt has died and I should pass on the message to my mum. I comforted her, that I can do but I don't know how to tell my mum that she's died. My mum loved her very much although they didn't keep in contact that often.
Even worse, she's on her way home after having to work later than usual. I need a way to break the news in a way that doesn't seem awkward or as a passing comment. I really don't want to do the 'Can we sit and talk for a minute' line.
Grateful for any help :) xx mimi

[sara3]

gosh, I remember telling my mum that my nan had died..

there's no easy way to do it, but take her aside so it's just you and her.. and just tell her that you've had some sad news.. and just tell her. you can't try to dress it up to sounds less sad.

and then just be there for her.

best of luck x

[DaisyMae]

In my experience it is best not to wait for a convenient moment, they just don't seem to happen. Make her a cup of tea and tell her quietly that you have some sad news to impart. Make sure she is sitting down and just tell her straight. Don't embroider or overstate the facts, just tell her that 'aunt dadadadada has died (or passed away if you prefer the euphemism). Try not to use too many of the cliches, such as 'she had a good innings' or 'she has gone to a better place', it doesn't help very much and can make the whole thing a bit stilted. Give your mum a bit hug and let her have a cry.

[bigmamma]

It's not easy hun but you will get through it , you'll find the automatic strength to say the right thing too . I have had to tell my sisters when our mother died , they had only just gone back home a few days before . Also I had to tell my parents that their grandson had died , and had to tell my sisters and other brother when my brother died .

[mimi-moomoo]

Ok, I've cooked dinner and fed my brothers. I'll give her a nice big serving and eat mine with her, ask her about her day and tell her then. Is that too dragged out?

[unrulyjulie]

I think she may sense something is wrong. I'd tell her before that if i were you mimi.

[sara3]

I think you should tell her before you eat, personally.. she may be laughing or moaning about something, and it may all feel wrong.

bigmamma.. shocking stuff. you must be a strong woman x

[bigmamma]

Yes hun , you really shouldn't put it off any longer than you're forced . She deserves to know and it's important you tell her . Could you really sit through a meal with that news on your mind ?

[mimi-moomoo]

ok julie :) i'll tell her, then sit her down and give her tea then ask her about her day so as not to dwell on it too much

[bigmamma]

Thank you sara sweetie , as I say , you find the strength from somewhere :-)

[mimi-moomoo]

thank you sara, bigmamma, daisy and julie
i'll let you know how it went later :)
xxx

[theonlyone]

hope it goes well for you mimi ..

[TenFour92]

You could always do it through email? At least you wont be confided into the awkward moment.